Yoga’s second niyama, or moral imperative, is santosha. This translates from Sanskrit as “contentment.” To be our happiest, we must cultivate contentment. That means appreciating what we have in our lives right now rather than using our energy, despairing that our lives aren’t different. Yogis avoid envying those who are richer, smarter, more talented, or better looking. We also try not to lament former versions of ourselves, including what we might have had before addiction kicked our butt. Maybe we had a big deal job, a good-looking partner, a family who thought the sun shone out our ass, plenty of money for drinks or cocaine or whatever. Contentment means we are already satisfied and are thus free of resentment over our losses. And our friends are free from hearing us whine about it.
As we all know from the half-empty or half-full test, some of us are naturally more prone to appreciate the water in our glass, while some are still mad it can’t be wine. We can probably think of somebody who will complain no matter how lucky they seem: the father of a happy, healthy kid who gets upset when Junior receives a B in class instead of an A, or our super-fit friend who complains about a minuscule amount of belly fat that we can’t even see. On the other hand, we probably know of somebody who was thrilled to get our card, eat a cookie, or watch a sunset when she was dying of cancer. How does one person fail to appreciate her good fortune while another retains enjoyment in life even in the face of a terminal illness? Part of this is the personality we’re born with. The second part is choosing our perspective.
Santosha does not mean that we shouldn’t try to change our lot in life. If we’re in a dangerous or abusive situation, changing that is a priority. But let’s say we have a job waiting tables while we’re in school to become an architect. Our dream is to design buildings, not to pick up people’s half-eaten lasagna and transport it to the kitchen. But that doesn’t mean we can’t cultivate contentment by enjoying the interactions, the good smells of food, the cash tips, or whatever parts of waiting tables we like while that is still our daily life. Think of it like the serenity prayer: we practice being content with what we have while changing what we can and want to change.
We have little control over what life throws our way. But we can choose how we react. Do we want to look at the good side or the bad side? Which will make us feel better? While complaining and self-pity may have a certain allure, wallowing in victimhood gets old pretty fast, especially for our friends and family. Cultivating contentment is a much clearer path towards happiness and spiritual progress.
An easy way to redirect the mind from all we feel we lack is by thinking of what we’re thankful for. Right now, think of a few reasons to be grateful.
Yoga is more than poses.
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