I had a great childhood growing up. I had a loving family, and fortunately, my upbringing didn’t consist of abuse or neglect like so many others who share my story of addiction. So one could argue that I never had a reason to start numbing my feelings in the first place, but regardless – when I got drunk for the first time, I fell in love. 

As my alcoholism progressed, so did my desire to put anything mind-altering into my body. I first started to use lighter drugs, but in my mid 20’s, I was introduced to crack cocaine, and my addiction progressed. I often wondered, “How could someone like me, that grew up so well, end up like this?”.  

My late 20’s

In my late 20s, I decided that the solution to my problems would come through marriage, buying a house, a nice car, and that white picket fence I thought everyone strived for. If society said it was so, maybe this would fix what had gone so terribly wrong. Of course, I married an alcoholic. Although he wasn’t a bad guy, we didn’t have a healthy relationship. We always lived beyond our means and could only have a good conversation when drunk. In those times that we were sober, we found it hard to communicate and co-exist. 

At the age of 36, I had finally hit my spiritual bottom. I define my bottom as that moment I stopped digging because the reality was that I had created this life. Now it was my responsibility to change it. The problem was that I had no idea how. I sat on the floor with a bottle of pills wanting to end my life. I was overweight, unhappily married, depressed, and almost bankrupt. Although I have never been religious, I prayed and asked God for help at that moment. Then everything changed. 

Not wanting to believe I had a problem with drugs and alcohol, I started my new way of life by getting a gym membership and hiring a personal trainer. I thought that if I could only fix the way I looked on the outside, maybe I could heal the pain I felt on the inside. Little did I know that the trainer I would hire was a woman in recovery, so my journey began. 

Those first six months, I worked my butt off. I swapped one addiction for another and found myself working out almost daily. I ate chicken, broccoli, and rice daily and was obsessed with my health. I was manipulating my diet by drinking NyQuil after consuming three drinks on a weekend evening. I thought this would minimize those extra calories, and what alcoholic only has three drinks per evening…right? Well, it worked, but the problem was I still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that I was an alcoholic and needed to change. 

The last bender

After one last bender proving to myself that I had lost control over how much I drank, I asked for help. On June 17th, 2012, I decided to start learning how to live a sober life. I joined a 12-step program and began to work on the 12 steps. I admitted I had a problem and built a support network that taught me I didn’t have to go at this alone.

In my first year of sobriety, I lost almost everything. My marriage fell apart, I filed for bankruptcy, and I moved in with a friend with little more than a futon, bookshelf, and dresser to my name. Yet, I felt I had gained much more – freedom and a fresh start. After I had laid the foundation, I started to help others do the same. I never imagined helping someone else could strengthen my sobriety, but it did. Although I got complacent at times, I managed to stay sober. 

Living sober

In 2019 I embarked on a journey to find that purpose, and it started with surrounding myself with others living purpose-driven lives. Those people inspired me to start my podcast and share my story. I came to recognize that my past would be the key to helping me discover my purpose and help others do the same.

In 2020 I started my business and, within one year, wrote two bestselling books and left my corporate job to pursue my dream of becoming a full-time entrepreneur. Today I use my story, experience & ability to generate ideas to support women in discovering their purpose so they can create a life so good for themselves that they never want to return to their old way of living. I also realize that none of this would have been possible had I not gone through the experiences I did and learned to overcome them. Now I get to help others do the same. 

Click here to learn more about Tamar Medford
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Speak Out Speak Loud

Welcome to the Speak Out Speak Loud section of The Sober Curator, a space echoing Madonna’s call to “Express yourself!” This is where our readers and contributors take center stage, sharing their transformative sobriety journeys. Often, sobriety uncovers hidden talents, abilities, and new avenues of self-expression. By sharing these stories, we not only facilitate personal healing but also offer hope to those still navigating the path of recovery. So, let’s raise our voices, Speak Out, and Speak Loud! In doing so, we combat the silence that often shrouds addiction, offering solace and inspiration. We invite you to share your unique expressions of recovery here—be it through videos, poems, art, essays, opinion pieces, or music. We can’t wait to hear from you! Please email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social!

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