I am a person who talks about neuroplasticity by day and shamelessly watches reality TV at night. So, let’s get that out there right from the start. I have been fascinated by the show Vanderpump Rules lately in an oddly voyeuristic sense, like not being able to look away from a train wreck, coupled with amusement of the human psyche. I also want to see what La La Kent is wearing. For those of you who aren’t fans, VPR is a show that follows a group of young men and women who, in their early twenties, worked in the restaurant business for one of Lisa Vanderpump’s famed hotspots in West Hollywood.
The cast serves as bartenders, wait staff, hostesses, etc. Typical drama ensues. The alcohol is flowing. Everyone cheats on their partner and cries. You get the plot. These “reality” TV scenes occur amidst luxe décor and beautiful lighting in Vanderpump’s LA establishments “Pump” and “Sur.” Oddly enough, the cast of VPR are all in their thirties now and no longer do restaurant work, but that seems to have no bearing on the show. As an audience, we have been following these personalities for ten years since the show’s inception, so at this point, we are all just tagging along to their daily life happenings.
This lifestyle is fascinating to me, who became an RN at the age of twenty-one and was married and owned her own home around that time. I epitomized a small-town girl who grew up too fast, so I have always wondered what it would be like to be a young adult with a waitressing job, where my biggest daily concerns would be around my hair and make-up and earning enough tip money for partying later. Having begun a serious nursing career in my early twenties, I did not have much time or inclination for young adulting. My day-to-day work was literally life or death at times. No wonder I have an odd fascination with this seemingly carefree life.
Photo Credit: Catherine Just
Ok. Enough of me. Let’s pour some Sobrie-TEA.
I have been following Lauren Kent, AKA “La La,” and her sober journey for four years. If you listen closely enough, her VPR confessionals are usually littered with AA lingo. It’s a funny juxtaposition. I can almost feel the cognitive dissonance as she trudges the path of personal recovery yet manages to stay TV drama-worthy to secure her spot on the show. Although despite struggles in her personal life, new motherhood, and infidelity by her partner Randall Emmett, Kent is staying sober. Somewhere in Hollywood, she most likely has a kick-ass sponsor. (And they are exhausted) Nonetheless, she is actively showing the world what it’s like to be in recovery while being a reality TV star.
This past season, I have seen several cast members mentioning sober curiosity or taking breaks from drinking. What’s that funny saying we throw around? “Nobody walks into their first AA meeting on a winning streak.” Possibly, it’s because we see the drunken mistakes of these cast members turn from bad to worse. After a while, examining the role that drinking plays in their debauchery becomes inevitable. Things we laugh at in our twenties are not so funny in our thirties. It’s becoming harder and harder to watch as the stakes get higher. And yet millions of people still do. Meanwhile, Kent stays in her lane, leading from the front. Her bad-bitch demeanor says, “Don’t fuck with my peace, folks,” but not in a smugly sober way.She tolerates the other cast members’ messy lives and drama yet firmly keeps her side of the street clean.
An interesting angle I have lackadaisically investigated is whether Kent’s sobriety would rub off on the rest of the crew as their lives get more complicated. Personally, it seems like, while their ratings have soared, the cast’s mental health has plummeted.
Maybe it’s all a master scheme of plot twists; however, the show seems to point out their mental health struggles in each episode.
Scandoval
I noticed that Tom Sandoval, who endured a sizeable ego blow last season due to his “Scandoval” affair, took a public break from booze the previous year. In most of the season eleven episodes, he has opted for sobriety and instead chosen Na drinks, meditation, breathwork, and therapy. A fanfare mea culpa? Who knows. But his remarks about his drinking and pain are too serious to ignore. In an article in People www.people.com in September of 2023, he opened up about his suicidal ideations and inevitably needing to take a break from booze.
Tom Sandoval’s lover in the illicit affair was Rachel Leviss, AKA Raquel, who TMZ reported to have entered Meadow’s recovery center in Arizona for a full two months after the incident. This recovery period was said to address her mental health and trauma in the wake of “Scandoval”. Nonetheless, Leviss has yet to return to the VPR set.
DJ James Kennedy has been open about his struggle with alcohol and its impact on his relationships and career in several candid interviews. For Entertainment Tonight online www.etonline.com in February 2024, written by Paige Gawley, the headline is Vanderpump Rules: James Kennedy reveals how “Scandoval” prompted him to get sober. In this article, he states, “ I am 31 now, and I want to focus on my health. I don’t want to be an alcoholic 40-year-old who loses everything.”
The OG of Vanderpump Rules
Scheana Shay, one of the OG of Vanderpump Rules, has even been filmed in several episodes declining the booze and opting for mocktails as she recounts her struggle with motherhood and a new diagnosis of OCD. All of this is pretty benign acts of sober curiosity for the general public; however, considering that reality television and the ratings are drama-based- it seems like pretty good sobrie-TEA.
I posted some reels on Instagram, capturing footage from VPR, with the caption, “Pop culture and reality TV get somewhat real!” After which, a troll quickly commented, “These aren’t real people.” Thanks, Captain Obvious. However, I argue it’s being aired on public TV. It’s still part of a dialogue. Whether we like it or not, reality TV has a seat at the table for entertainment.
According to Jannidx Linder, who wrote and summarized the market data report for a global media company, www.gitnux.org, 79% of Americans watch reality TV. A considerable segment of the world is following this storyline. And it’s screaming loud and clear: Booze leads to drama and turmoil, which impacts our mental health and often leads to choosing sobriety. My intention in posting this was to acknowledge that the narrative is shifting. This is one of the first times I have seen a reality TV show develop a storyline showing both sides of what happens when we drink heavily.
In my cartoon, I fantasize that Kent perceives this debauchery as the hidden message of VPR and that it contributes to more people getting sober.
Or, at the very least, because we see this unfold in every episode, that sober curiosity gets some airtime. I know every sober person must be shaking their head because we don’t need a crystal ball to see how this will end.
Back in the day…
If this had been filmed ten years ago, before the sober curiosity movement and the rise of #recoveroutloud social media, we might not have seen this aired on public TV. Now let me be clear: #sobercuriosity is not a fad. This is a cultural shift we are seeing as new research emerges about the literal zero benefits of alcohol and the devastating effects it has on the brain and body. If we are tracking the zeitgeist, it’s becoming “cool” not to imbibe because it’s blatantly apparent how damaging alcohol is. However, reality TV banks on dramatic debauchery. It’s a well-known secret that most reality TV shows encourage the cast to drink heavily to ensure a shit show on camera (total pun intended). So, this is a fascinating dichotomy to witness. VPR producers made an interesting decision. The cast acts out dramatic drunkenness yet voices their distress regarding their habits and choices.
This unfolding storyline makes me wonder why the network is entertaining this concept. Why not follow the usual trope of reality TV and stick to the drunken buffoonery? It’s funny that it is all filmed around the bar and restaurant scene. How long will we continue to watch them wrestle with sober curiosity? When will they find a meeting of Ben’s friends for restaurant staff struggling with addiction? We shall see.
P.S. I don’t know what Vanderpump’s actual “rules” are, nor do I care. My rules are to not imbibe in boozing. Ever. But hot damn if this isn’t some good sobrie-TEA to spill.
Grace and Glam,
Kate
Hey VPR! If you need a Sobriety Nurse Coach for the Show, Call Me!
The Mindful Binge Sobees Score: 4 out of 5
A Curated List of Sobrie-TEA Links for Those of You That Need a Deeper Dive
- ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Star Lala Kent Celebrates 5 Years of Sobriety (people.com)
- Tom Sandoval Shares He’s Nearly 6 Months Sober After Scandal (eonline.com)
- Why Tom Sandoval Is Drinking Again After 8 Months of Sobriety (eonline.com)
- Vanderpump Rules Stars Who Got Sober (realitytea.com)
- Tom Schwartz Is ‘Sober Curious’ After Brother’s Medical Issues – Reality Tea
SOBER ENTERTAINMENT: Let us entertain you! Here, you’ll find a curated selection of podcasts, TV series & movies, events, and music with the underlying theme of addiction. We’re sober, not boring! We’re covering it if it’s trending in pop culture and relates to sobriety. Our taste is eclectic, and our reviews are honest. Check out the sober entertainment you never knew you needed until now.
ENTERTAINMENT SECTIONS:
#QUITLIT Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. #QUITLIT is our curated list of addiction and recovery book reviews. All Sober Curators should be well-read, from addiction and recovery memoirs to fiction and self-help.
ADDICTION FICTION Addiction fiction is a burgeoning genre that delves into the gritty reality of substance abuse and its impact on individuals and relationships. It uniquely spotlights personal growth, redemption, and the road to recovery. These narratives offer compelling, relatable messages through their exploration of addiction and recovery themes.
MOVIE NIGHT WITH THE SOBER CURATOR brings you the movies we love that also carry the underlying story of addiction, recovery, and mental illness.
THE MINDFUL BINGE features TV series where addiction and recovery are part of the main storyline.
PLAY IT AGAIN is jamming with music selections that represent some part of our journeys and give us all the feels.
RECOVER MIXTAPES Coming Soon!
SOBER SPORTS is a section of the site dedicated to promoting sobriety and wellness through sports and fitness. It features articles, interviews, and personal stories from athletes and fitness enthusiasts who are committed to living a healthier, alcohol-free lifestyle.
RECOVERY PODCASTLAND is your one-stop shop to check out all recovery-based podcasts we’ve been curating.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
