Sobriety found me on Dec 31, 1996, and I say it found me because I wasn’t looking for it; I didn’t have a problem with alcohol; I loved drinking! I loved red wine, ice-cold vodka, and fricking margaritas, not altogether, but sometimes it happened that way as the night progressed. I never had the intention to blackout, but every time I took a drink, I blacked out, and then who knows what happened? I would leave notes on napkins and matchboxes, carry a camera around my neck, and tell my friends to remember this for tomorrow.
Drinking was a habit, a sport, and a game I played with Hollywood’s finest; from the outside, my life looked perfect. I had all the things, five closets full of the best clothes, 500 pairs of shoes, a house in the infamous Laurel Canyon, two cars, a pedigree dog, a famous girlfriend, and a fantastic career… but what I didn’t have was peace of mind. Life was messy. Sleeping with other people’s partners because I could, stealing people’s time, and letting myself down every weekend when I would say wow, I think I need to put the brakes on this drinking stuff… and then be drunk and hung over one more time. It was depressing!
Sobriety allows me to think clearly, give my time away to others and be present in the world. My life looks nothing like it did 26 years ago. I am so grateful that I was guided to a program of recovery. Grateful for the spiritual giants who walked before me.
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