Self-love doesn’t have anything to do with little pink hearts and everything to do with showing up for yourself to do the thing you said you would do – honoring your word builds confidence and integrity – it is a muscle you can flex and build over time.
We seem to miss the point of the superficial self-love hype. Sure, you can do anything you want and hashtag #selflove because it is something you like to do and makes you feel good – but you’re missing the zoomed-out version. The version that asks the more significant questions like am I doing this because I want to escape my body, the present moment, and/or my life, or am I doing it because I value my body as my temple, nourishment, and longevity.
On my way back from our holiday road trip, I listened to this episode of the Rich Roll Podcast, which discusses the importance of community and movement for our mental wellness from the lens of a group of former military special ops gentlemen who are trying to solve the suicide crisis amongst veterans in the US.
The statistics are staggering:
What pains me the most are the socially acceptable solutions presented to these veterans dealing with PTSD: meds for depression and anxiety, alcohol, maybe talk therapy, and mostly just a “chin-up” philosophy you can handle. These “strategies” are not working. On the one hand, this isn’t about “self-love”; these individuals are emotionally and mentally broken, but on the other hand, as the gentlemen on the podcast pointed out, there are two major threads that they lose touch with when they get out: a rock-solid community and a consistent movement regime that keeps them physically fit and active.
In general, we greatly underappreciate the importance of community (common – unity) and how dramatically moving our bodies supports us with stress management and our emotional and mental wellness.
Community & Body Movement
Both community and moving our bodies inform our ability to love, accept and heal ourselves deeply. Moving our bodies supports us from the bottom up; when our bodies are happy, we are happy. Finding a strong community where we feel seen, heard, and understood supports us from the top down, so we have that deep sense of belonging that is essential to the human experience.
It took me two decades to fully process my father’s suicide. There are so many reframing tools I wish I had had. I wish someone had explained to me how staying active or doing a sport would have helped me to feel better about who I am, stronger physically (that would, in turn, support my mental health), and that teams provide you with a community that you might not otherwise have.
So, this February, let’s think more about creating and building communities, staying active for our mental health, and less about all the superficial hype around #selflove chocolates, bottles of bubbly, or expensive overrated dinners that ultimately are not serving our temples.
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
