We’re proud to shine the Sober Spotlight on Ray Newlin, founder of Living Proof Sober Homes and Craighead Skateboard Scholarship in Lancaster, PA. One of the most difficult parts of being active in the recovery community is the cold, hard truth that not everyone gets it. Sobriety is a true gift. Many of us experience the heartbreak of watching friends and family struggle with the disease of addiction, try to get sober time and time again but not make it. The flip side is the joy we get when we see so many who do get it and in turn help others. Ray is one of these people. He turned the heartbreak of losing very close friends into something beautiful. He took action and lives out his sobriety every day in a BIG way. Ray Newlin is a true recovery warrior and this is just some of his story.
Ray’s Inspiration
2017 was a harsh year, in my recovery community at least, and I suspect many others in regard to overdoses. At times it seemed like every other day I would get a new text message with another name, or a Facebook “fly high angel” post would come out of nowhere. Too many times I would have an encounter with a young man after a meeting, a quick exchange, “Hey man, how you been?” “You know, just working, been busy…”
The quick, furtive movements were always a dead giveaway that things were very bad, but the paper-thin wall of fear that cripples us had them right where it wanted. We shake hands, let each other know that we would stay in touch, and that would end our final encounter, with neither of us aware of that fact.
I lost two people basically back-to-back in the early winter of 2017. One, was like a brother. We had met in high school in 1991, “ran” together for many years, started the recovery process virtually at the same time and both went in and out multiple times. He died in January 2017.
The second person was a person I had met in my recovery journey, very early on, and although he was never an official “sponsor”, he showed more about the spiritual plan of action available and necessary for us to recover and be happy about it. He died in February 2017. Hard times.
The Reality
My sponsor always hammered into me that we must always be there for the survivors. The mothers, wives, children. That’s what we do, and that’s how we grieve. Many of these young men’s friends and supports from the program showed up. Of course, they did and always will. One by one, shuffling in the receiving line, new guys getting scolded to stay off their phones by a sponsor. Neck tattoos, blue and purple dyed hair mixed in with pews of grandparents and extended family that have no idea what addiction is or why this happened to their baby. This thing gets old. Watching people not make it gets really old. It isn’t natural to bury 50 people a year.
How It Works For Ray
I entered the sober housing provider scene shortly after my friend’s deaths in 2017. One house turned to 6 within a year and a half. My partner and I had “made it”. Exponential growth, combined with the quasi-notoriety that comes along with such a role, and the money, took a toll. My literature talks about money, property and prestige diverting us from a primary purpose, and I received a punch in the face lesson on it, not in the form of a chemical, but in several other ways.
Living Proof Sober Homes Differentiators
Very recently I decided to move on from that venture and create two small “step down” houses. Each with a very small numbers of residents, we focus on building relationships with each person that decides to call us their temporary home. We are not in the business of “clout chasing” on LinkedIn or Instagram, nor do we care about any hot referral sources or the new trendy buzz word treatment modality that your facility has to offer. And I definitely am not in it for the money. My “real job” is in the mitigation field through insurance. Mold, water, sewage, the aftermath of dead bodies have all been part of my reality for some time. Screw the money.
Anthony Craighead Skateboard Scholarship
As if running step down houses with passion and integrity were not enough…Ray also founded a 501 3© to honor his skateboarder friend, Anthony Craighead. The Craighead Skateboard Scholarship allows people to nominate kids who have been affected by addiction to receive skateboards. You can visit the Facebook page to learn more or donate. This is brilliant as the program helps kids develop a hobby and fosters community. And we know this is essential for battling addiction. Ray also speaks on recovery and willingly shares his story to help others.
Lightening Round
Sobriety Date: 2/21/15
Favorite QuitLit: Scar Tissue by Anthony Kiedes
Go-to Meditation: “Sermon on the Mount- Emmet Fox
What’s on your playlist? O.T. tha Real, Wu Tang Clan, Fugazi, Operation Ivy
Favorite Podcasts: 4th and Jawn and anything Philly sports related
Advice You’d Give Someone Newly Sober: Follow Directions
Guilty Pleasures: Naps and Fudge
How do you practice self-care: Hanging out with my dogs
Favorite Sober Celebs: Bruce Willis and Bradley Cooper
Closing Thoughts From Ray
Be there for the survivors. If you are sober right now, reading this, you are a survivor. Thank you for being there.
To Connect…
Connect with Ray on LinkedIn. Follow Living Proof @living_proof_soberhomes and Craighead Skateboard Scholarship at @craighead_frontside_shuv.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
Who’s Next?
The Sober Curator shines a Sober Spotlight on members of the recovery community who are making an impact. If you know someone who we should highlight, please email thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @thesobercurator
