If you think it’s hard to deal with a walk of shame and hangovers, try dealing with the complexities of a DUI. It’s a lot to get sober AND figure out how to navigate the particulars of DUI. Coming from the recipient of a certificate of excellence in 2011 Driving Under the Influence Club myself (including the honorable mention of 4 counts of reckless endangerment), I can tell you firsthand the trials and tribulations of a DUI are nerve-wracking, stressful, and perplexing…on top of attempting to commence a recovery program.
#1 – It’s confusing.
Here’s my unsolicited piece of advice: Get a lawyer. Depending on your state, you’ll have a whole learning curve ahead of you. In Washington State, at least back when I got mine, none of the institutions talked to each other. Meaning the DMV had requirements for me. The courts had requirements for me. The probation officer had requirements for me. The breathalyzer installation place had requirements for me. And much to my shock and dismay, I quickly discovered the agencies do not talk to one another. So the paperwork from one of these places had to be photocopied and delivered to each of these entities so that I could prove to each agency that I had completed the other pieces, making me eligible to receive their piece.
In other words, you’re running a communications department and a low-budget PR firm. You’ll need proof of fees paid and evidence of compliance, etc. And at all times, you needed to ensure that the court had your current address, that is, a snail mailing address, on file. God help you if they sent something to you by snail mail that you failed to retrieve. This did not happen to me, thankfully, but I have friends who it did happen to, and they were randomly driving to work a little late, pulled over for speeding, only to find, much to their surprise, a warrant out for their arrest. They were driven to jail in their work uniform, and it wasn’t fun explaining it to their boss.
#2 – It was expensive.
I have called it “The Consequence with 1,000 Fees.” Fees for lawyers, court, state, interlock, etc. It’s also a conundrum because you need to make money to pay the fees. Which means you need a job. If you have a work-from-home position, that is no issue, but back in the day when I got my DY, it was pre-pandemic, and unless you had a True job that you could do from your house, he would have to drive to work. But if you couldn’t afford the price for the interlock installation, nor could you afford the first month’s payment for the interlock service, how are you supposed to get that if you couldn’t drive to work? Various problems continue to arise out of the more significant issue, which is getting a DUI in the first place.
#3 – It’s time consuming …
…annnnd extra steps can be added at any point (I was months away from completing my deferred when the rules changed, and I suddenly had to fill out an additional worksheet like a checklist each month send it to the court. Upon my completion month, I assumed that my worksheet’s new worksheet commitment was over. I was wrong. I received an email from the state that said the courts were expecting one more worksheet from yours truly. Oops. Just when I had seen the light on the horizon!
#4 – Interlocks are hard to explain to your kids’ friends…
And worse to explain to their parents. Volunteered pre-DUI to bring kids on the field trip at the start of the school year, and now the time has come. If you have an interlock device as part of your court case, legally, you can only drive that vehicle. When it beeps and goes off as you’re rolling down the freeway with a carful of kids, they are likely wondering what it is. On the positive side, if you are driving the children of some good friends, and they know your situation, nobody is safer on the road than you. Cognizant of your driving record is in jeopardy even as a sober person; generally speaking, those with recent DUIs who desire recovery are extremely cautious drivers. I remember telling my kid’s friends then that the interlock was an “engine activation device .” What can I say? I wasn’t wrong.
#5 – It isn’t easy to explain.
If applying for a job or a place to live, or a volunteer position, you have to explain it. It can be awkward. And don’t you dare move out of state! Suddenly the complications are amplified on many levels. If that court does not have your address, it could be big-time bad news for you. I remember applying for my first global entry card. About six months away, I was completing my deferred prosecution.
I went through all the hassle and hoops with our US Customs and Border Patrol friends at the airport, including the fingerprinting and interview process, only to find that I couldn’t get one even though I had my court documents with me. The website could not tell me if I would be approved or not, as it couldn’t comment on the specific ins and outs of my particular case, of course. In the long run, I had to return when my case had been officially closed and expunged. Fair enough.
#6 – No two DUIs are the same.
You quickly find that anyone else you meet who gets a DUI seems to have a completely different case with different obligations and different specifications. It forces you to face the individual nature of your particular DUI case and its unique characteristics, realizing you can’t advise anyone else, nor should you follow anyone else’s if it’s more than a general word of wisdom.
#7 – Rejection.
You worry about all the things related to possibly getting rejected because of being a card-carrying member of the DUI club. Socially, unless you’re around other sober people, it can be a natural conversation killer. Or when slaying a job interview, it’s all fun and games until you arrive at consent for the background check- where you have to start the conversation with “There’s a possibility something might come up when you run my name…” Suppose you have kids and desire to volunteer to help build gingerbread houses in the classroom during the holidays. In that case, your potential background check approval is a coin toss: don’t roll your interlock-outfitted vehicle into the Target parking lot just yet because you may be stuck with 20 diabetes-inducing kits…at least until Boxing Day.
#8 – Canada-phobia. It’s real.
You will hear some fear-inducing stories about DUI recipients’ inability to travel to Canada. Those who have attempted the pilgrimage have said that crossing the border is challenging once you’re in the DUI club. Like the “gum stays in your system for seven years” playground rumor, allegedly, Canadian border patrol won’t let people come into the country if it’s been less than seven years since your offense. Sidebar: I’m still nervous about that one. Mine was just under 12 years ago, and still, I am waiting for someone to give me a straight answer on whether or not I’ll ever be able to go to Canada again. The closest answer I’ve gotten is, “it *should* be ok.”
Well…stay tuned because I have a good friend who also has a DUI from yesteryear. We will be attempting an investigatory adventure together in late March to see what happens when we approach the border, passports in hand. From my latest look into this with an immigration lawyer, we may have to apply for “criminal rehabilitation,”…. Whatever that means.
Plan B? We can just “Thelma and Louise it” across the border. I’m just kidding; of course, Canada. I don’t want to mess with you, and I promise to be on my best sober behavior. After almost a dozen years of sobriety, I can assure you that the only thing I plan on drinking in the Great White North is water, coffee, and maple syrup… scouts’ honor.
Speak Out Speak Loud is a space echoing Madonna’s call to “Express yourself!” This is where our readers and contributors take center stage, sharing their transformative sobriety journeys. Often, sobriety uncovers hidden talents, abilities, and new avenues of self-expression. By sharing these stories, we not only facilitate personal healing but also offer hope to those still navigating the path of recovery. So, let’s raise our voices, Speak Out, and Speak Loud! In doing so, we combat the silence that often shrouds addiction, offering solace and inspiration.
We invite you to share your unique expressions of recovery here—be it through videos, poems, art, essays, opinion pieces, or music. We can’t wait to hear from you! Please email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social!
Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in the Speak Out! Speak Loud! Section are solely the opinions of the contributing author of each individual published article and do not reflect the views of The Sober Curator, their respective affiliates, or the companies with which The Sober Curator is affiliated.
The Speak Out! Speak Loud! posts are based upon information the contributing author considers reliable. Still, neither The Sober Curator nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.
Sober Say What?
Our brand new recovery glossary is the ultimate guide to the language of sobriety, the world of recovery and alcohol-free lifestyles, where words hold power, knowledge, and the keys to a vibrant life free from substances that dim our glow. The Sober Curator Glossary helps to create a more inclusive, informed, and effective environment for those on their journey to recovery and those who support them as they walk the path.
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
