Sober Word Of The Day + Quote + Reflection From The Daily Llama For The Week of May 2 – May 6, 2022

The Daily Llama, by Sober Curator Staci DesRault, brings you short, one-word meditations and a corresponding quote plus a reflection for your complete wool-being (#seewhatwedidthere?) for Monday, May 2 – Friday, May 6, 2022.

MEDITATE ON THIS:

We create a feeling of being stuck when we come to believe that change is not possible. When we think in a way that only sees the potential negative outcomes, we are putting a tremendous block in our path that only we can remove because we are the ones that put it there. To become unstuck, the first thing that needs to happen is that we change the way we are viewing our situation and we nurture a sense of self-agency that we can enact change in our lives, however small.

The Daily Llama Fun Fact of the Day:

 Today is International Harry Potter Day, Melanoma Day, and National Brothers and Sisters Day.

---

MEDITATE ON THIS:

Defusion is a concept from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) that describes the skill of detaching, separating, or getting some distance from our thoughts and emotions. The word ‘thought’ in this context also refers to other internal experiences, such as beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, memories, etc. According to Russ Harris in ACT Made Simple (2009), defusion occurs when we:  1) look at thoughts rather than from thoughts; 2) notice thoughts rather than becoming caught up in thoughts, and 3) let thoughts come and go rather than holding onto them. From an ACT perspective, instead of trying to change, fight, or repress our inner experiences (e.g., thoughts, emotions, sensations, etc.), we can focus on changing how we relate to them.

When we are fused with a thought, we tend to believe the thought as true, not question it, and then behave accordingly. For instance, we may be at a party and believe the thought, “Nobody here likes me.” If we are fused with that thought, we may believe it to be true, not question it, and then start acting very awkwardly. Thus our awkward behavior influences how people respond to us, and their behavior towards us may then reinforce this belief. To defuse that thought means we create distance between us and the thought. We can say, “I’m noticing that I am having the thought that nobody here likes me.” When we create emotional distance from our thoughts, it gives us the space and oftentimes the perspective to have access to a wider variety of behavioral choices rather than if we just accepted our thoughts as the absolute truth and then behaved purely from an emotional place.

Defusion allows us to remember that we are the sky, and our thoughts and feelings are just the weather.

The Daily Llama Fun Fact of the Day:

Today is National Paranormal Day, Yom HaZikaron (Jewish), National Two Different Colored Shoes Day, National Textiles Day, National Teacher Day, National Lumpy Rug Day, National Chocolate Custard Day, Eid al-Fitr (Muslim), Constitution Memorial Day, and National Garden Meditation Day.

---

MEDITATE ON THIS:

In the theory and practice of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), experiential avoidance is “an attempt or desire to suppress unwanted internal experiences, such as emotions, thoughts, memories and bodily sensations.” We are engaged in experiential avoidance when we become unwilling to stay in contact with negative internal experiences. Now most of us practice experiential avoidance in some form or another on a daily basis, such as scrolling through our phone when we are feeling bored or calling a friend when we’re upset.

These behaviors are not generally considered harmful or problematic. However, experiential avoidance becomes problematic when it starts to interfere with normal functioning or when it is applied in harmful ways. And unfortunately, when we avoid something that is uncomfortable or painful, we experience a reward (albeit short-term) when we feel the initial relief of not having to face or feel the pain we are trying to avoid. These little “hits” of reward often perpetuate the behavior of avoidance, thus making it a coping style that may perpetuate problems or produce new ones. For example, trying not to feel grief may perpetuate depression instead of allowing the pain of loss to be processed.

Some signs of potentially harmful experiential avoidance include 1) avoiding situations that make you uncomfortable or upset, 2) judgmental thoughts, 3) suppressing thoughts or memories that cause distress, 4) withdrawing from social experiences as a way to prevent feeling anxious, 5) using food, sex, gambling, alcohol or drugs to avoid feeling unpleasant emotions or dealing with problems, 6) procrastinating on projects or hesitating to act on new opportunities because of the fear of failure, 7) avoiding intimacy because of the fear of rejection.

Several studies have shown a link between using experiential avoidance as a coping strategy and the likelihood of developing PTSD in people who have experienced abuse or trauma. In fact, experiential avoidance is one of three emotion regulation strategies believed to increase the risk of PTSD. The other two emotion regulation strategies implicated in PTSD are rumination and thought suppression.

So what we resist, persists. Our ability to heal ourselves rests upon our willingness to confront our thoughts, feel our feelings, and deal with our problems.

The Daily Llama Fun Fact of the Day:

Today is National Candied Orange Peel Day, National Orange Juice Day, National Renewal Day, National Skilled Trades Day, National Weather Observers Day, and Star Wars Day. May the Fourth be with you.

---

MEDITATE ON THIS:

One of the six core principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy involves the concept that an individual is greater than the sum of its parts. We are more than our thoughts, beliefs, or emotions. We are more than what happens to us or the way we behave. We are also the ones experiencing what happens to us and observing what we think, feel, or do. This concept is called “self as context.” Synonyms for this concept include the observing self, the core you, or perspective-taking. It is essentially the perspective from which we observe and accept experiences.

Healing at this level involves differentiating the observing self from the conceptualized self. In other words, we start to see ourselves as more than any of the things that have happened to us. We stop seeing only one story of who we are.

The Daily Llama Fun Fact of the Day:

Today is National Day of Prayer, World Password Day, National Hoagie Day, National Day of Reason, National Cartoonists Day, Cinco de Mayo (Mexican), Liberation Day (Netherlands), International Midwives Day, and National Astronaut Day.

---

MEDITATE ON THIS:

 Another concept in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is to maintain contact with our values through participation in meaningful activities. Values are not based on what we think we should do or what others expect from us. They come from deep within, from the stuff that makes life meaningful for us. Values are about who we want to be, and what kind of life we want to have. Nobody can choose our values for us. We have to create and/or choose our own values. The more we use our values to be our compass or guide in life, the greater our inner peace will be.

The Daily Llama Fun Fact of the Day:

Today is National Space Day, School Lunch Hero Day, National No Pants Day, National Tourist Appreciation Day, National Provider Appreciation Day, National Nurses Day, National Beverage Day, and International No Diet Day.

---

THE CARD DIVO: Each week Actor, Comic, Host, Patient Leader, Spiritual Mentor, and Sober Curator Daniel G Garza AKA The Card Divo will bring us quick-hitting and intuitive horoscopes for sober people on the go.

Resources are available

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

Follow The Sober Curator on Pinterest