Last week I came home to find a couple of deliveries that my husband had plopped on the kitchen counter side by side. One was a shipment of Teetotaler Wines from Boisson in NYC @boisson.nyc, and the other was my December issue of Vogue magazine. Sarah Jessica Parker graces the cover in a gauzy pink Dolce and Gabbana Alta Moda gown with metallic floral embroidery and Dior bracelets. She looks every bit the part of our beloved Carrie Bradshaw from SATC. The caption reads, “And Just like that SJP is….Back!”
“And just like that the gals on SATC trend Teetotaler”
I immediately flash to my recent Instagram post in whereas I wrote, “And just like that, the gals on SATC trend Teetotaler.” I am referencing a small but epic moment in the history of the sober movement. A moment whereas Teetotaler Wine was photographed on the set with our favorite gals. This moment not only confirmed my bias about alcohol free-living but my hard-earned realizations about what it is to be a woman in today’s world. There is no time for hangovers, whether you are a writer, a high-powered lawyer, or a stay-at-home mom. While pictured dining together at a park in NYC, Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte opt for Teetotaler Wine to pair with their picnic. And we begin to have hope that they have discovered better ways of brunching.
The sober community was all a buzz!
The image of the non-alcoholic wine sent shock waves through the sober community on IG. I remember being awake to watch the sunrise at 4 am at my parent’s beach house. (Because that is what sober people do) I saw the images flooding social media. I instantly sent a message to Teetotaler Wines on Instagram @teetotalerwines to congratulate them on being photographed on set. I am pretty sure my message just looked like a whole bunch of emojis and exclamation points. To my surprise, I heard back from the company instantly. This is in part since the owner was sitting in her home in Toronto, freaking out.
After several exciting messages back and forth, I learned that the force behind Teetotaler Wines was a sober warrior named Danijela Kovac. A strong, energetic, determined woman from Canada who got sober in 2010. “I have hustled every day for over a year, “she said, referencing the brand’s inception. Sober friendships forged immediately as “Dani,” and I began chatting back and forth. She did not hesitate to get my home address and ship me a box of Teetotaler Wine in all three varieties. (Because that is what sober friends for five minutes do) I remember noting her energy and humor and style and thinking; I bet this is what the real-life Carrie Bradshaw would be like. A fabulous, single woman going against the grain and husting to make a name for herself.
For the love of beautiful packaging…
The wine arrived beautifully packaged. I was thrilled to read the label boasting 0.0% alcohol! Created from Tempranillo grapes out of Spain, the Rosè was most definitely my favorite. The bubbly pop of the cork and the brilliant pink hue will add sparkle to any party. The Rosè paired nicely with the soup and salad we enjoyed that weekend when I took them to a sober gal’s brunch in Seattle. We had a blast sipping and swirling without remorse. I remember looking at all my beautiful girlfriends grinning while they enjoyed the delicious food and desserts. They were laughing hysterically and sharing stories. The synchronicity and irony had me both elated and dumbfounded. I kept pointing to the non-alcoholic wine, saying, “My friend Danijela worked hard to create this; she is one of us!”
What a fascinating twist of fate to witness IRL, a sober, female, entrepreneur get some press on SATC. Kovac relayed that she had worked on and off in the hospitality industry for over 25 years. She said, “food, drinks, and the dining experience, on the whole, are a true passion of mine. When I quit drinking, socializing went out the window, and dining out was just never the same. I felt like there truly wasn’t anything good to drink until I was about eight years sober and discovered non-alcoholic wine. (For a non-alcoholic wine nonetheless!) “
Glass half full
“I realized my focus had been to stay away from beverages rather than bringing in new ones. The first time I tried a non-alcoholic red paired with cheese, I was elated! My passion returned!” She said,” Creating Teetotaler Wines was all about providing an option for those of us who choose not to consume alcohol.” Kovac explained, “I’ve always known that I wasn’t going to be content just being an employee somewhere. I am not someone who likes to being told what to do.” Sound familiar? She insisted, “I went all-in with Teetotaler Wines without any financial support, and yes, I was terrified, but that’s when you know it’s worth it.”
#ADDTOCART TEETOTALER WINES
Teetotaler — White — Non-Alcoholic WineTeetotaler — Red — Non-Alcoholic WineTeetotaler — Sparkling Rosé Non-Alcoholic Wine
Abso-f*cking-lutely.
With female empowerment on the brain, I scanned through the Vogue interview, looking for insight into the storyline for the SATC reboot. I desperately wanted to know if any of them would be sober. Then, serendipitously, my phone buzzed, and it was Danijela. She confessed, “in the trailer, the Teetotaler label has been blurred out, and we won’t know what they say until it airs but knowing it’s MY bottle means the world to me!” At that moment, I realized that it didn’t even matter what the SATC narrative was. I am writing this article before the offshoot even debuts on December 9th. And I can tell you, after experiencing this moment of joy with a new sober friend, that the storyline details are a distant second priority.
Because what is essential is capturing the image of a non-alcoholic beverage during an iconic scene in Television history. Coupled with the brilliant irony, that label is from Teetotaler Wines, created by an independent sober woman herself. Talk about power. Just the fact that the picture exists, folks…. that it’s out into the universe is HUGE. It’s the sheer symbolism of the moment. Dismantling the ludicrous myth that the modern, multi-tasking woman enjoys day drinking and then, by some miracle, can comply with her hectic schedule. I’m not sure about you, but I never landed a big meeting or nailed a strict deadline after returning to work from a liquid lunch. If anything, I got scolded by my boss, sent home in a cab, and then vomited all over my faux couture. Because that, my friends, is the reality.
SATC gets a much needed modernized update
In the spirit of real life, Vogue writer Naomi Fry reports that SJP collaborated with Michael Patrick King to bring women of color and non-binary folks on set to re-imagine the cast. “The total lack of diversity was the Achilles heel of the show the first time around,” quotes Cynthia Nixon. I must agree that this was a glaringly obvious problem with the original serious. A whitewashed cast of privileged women carrying Fendi bags no longer makes for exciting TV in today’s awakened mindset. In my opinion, neither would a storyline about a fifty-something-year-old woman of any color getting inebriated and then sauntering off to run an empire. Because that is a ridiculous notion, I mean, allow me to count thy ways.
The world is clapping back at the sexism and racism that epitomized the TV storylines of the past century. The same goes for the sober curious movement in which we are finally addressing the real-life havoc that alcohol wreaks on our society. People are choosing to skip the booze, the toxins, and the hangovers. Alcohol-free wines, beers, and mocktails are moving and shaking on the scene for all age groups, and it is becoming trendy NOT to imbibe, even in the fictitious world of Television.
Sex & The Cocktail?
The premise of SATC wasn’t intended to focus primarily on a boozy lifestyle, but the images of cocktails were ever-present. The point was to portray the notion of women having sex like men in a man’s world. With a backdrop of NYC hotspots and incredible costume design by Patricia Fields, it was the first show to capture women in that light. However, it strongly implied a lot of liquid courage necessary to actualize that life, even for the characters themselves. Most of us watched the show and idealized what modern women were capable of. And we drank, hoping glamour and women’s liberation lived at the bottom of a cosmopolitan. Ok…. well, at least that’s my excuse.
In the beginning, perspective from a Gen X Baby (aka Elder Millienial LOL)
I was in my 20s in the late 90s and early 2000s when the first six seasons aired on HBO. Sliding into Gen X by a narrow margin, I learned how to become a woman of the 20th century. The Buddhist monk Pema Chodron said, “We must learn how to be both big and small in the world,” and this was the exact dichotomy I was navigating: a career, rights to vote, the freedom to choose my wardrobe, and the power to own my sexuality were all at my fingertips.
I thought drinking was just part of my daily armor. I believed the myth that holding a glass of wine after a long day at work conveyed to the world that I was a fierce and fabulous woman. Making my own money, paying my rent, and telling men to “get in line.” Yes, I used that cringy phrase in the bar scene to notify men that I was a force to reckon with.
In my 30s, I watched SATC re-runs in my high-rise apartment downtown Portland, OR. I spent my hard-earned single gal’s salary on happy hours, cab fare, handbags & perfume. I was no stranger to the walk of shame in the early hours of the morning. In the lobby of my building, neighbors would give me the side-eye as I slumped into the elevator in last night’s cocktail dress. But I still thought I was fighting the good fight. That somehow, I was winning. I could drink and party like a man and hold onto my womanly figure & my autonomy. But as Carrie Bradshaw once quoted, “I wasn’t having breakfast at Tiffany’s or affairs to remember” I was degrading myself and creating a colossal mess.
When your worlds collide…
When your old world and your new world collide, it’s the universe telling you to stop and take notice. Because here is the embarrassing truth: I adored SATC. I epitomized and glamorized the show. I memorized the dialogue in every episode. The characters became my imaginary friends. I wanted what I thought they had; sophistication and independence and strength forged in female friendships. It turns out all that was waiting for me on the other side of sobriety. As most things go, I had to learn my lessons the hard way. I had to fumble through my tacky rendition of that life only to realize it was messy and painful and not glamorous at all.
Regardless, when the Teetotaler Wine and the Vogue magazine were sitting together on my kitchen counter, I couldn’t help but smile and look up into the universe like….”Awh ha… I get it now.” It’s all coming full circle. The sophisticated, dignified, independent woman I had dreamt of becoming did not have a cosmopolitan in her hand. She was armed with the humility and serenity, and grace that comes with a sober life. Funny joke, God. So glad I hung around for the punchline.
Who runs the world? (Sober) Girls!
I thought about Danijela living in Toronto and how hard she worked to get sober and build this brand—schlepping samples to local farmer’s markets and venues to make a name for herself. I thought about her generosity and willingness to befriend a novice writer and fumbling creator like me. Then, I thought about Alysse Bryson @alysseinthecity, living as a single mom in Seattle. A fiercely independent woman with 15 years of sobriety started this magazine with her own money out of her living room. I thought about all the work she puts into bringing my thoughts to life.
Next, I thought about my friend, Catherine Just, @cjust, a single mother and artist living in LA in long-term recovery with 34 years of sobriety. I thought about how much heart, soul, and energy she puts into creating her portraits and paintings. I thought about how she sometimes puts her life aside to mentor me through my journey. And most importantly, I thought about how I would never have known such brave, dynamic women had I not gotten sober.
Selfie-care time in my Cloffice, drinking it all in…
I took my Teetotaler Rose and my Vogue magazine up to my cloffice that night to drink it all in. I was so fascinated by the irony. Thumbing through glossy pages of Carrie Bradshaw’s return, I couldn’t help but flashback to 2005. I laughed at my younger, more naïve self. But I appreciated her as well. Because there is real grit and grace to her story, it wasn’t “just like that” …it just was. And none of it was glamorous.
But I am here now, whereas I realize that the most desirable, noteworthy parts of me have nothing to do with the outside version. (And everything to do with the light inside me.) I wouldn’t trade that realization or that process of radical acceptance for anything. All the twists in this incredibly bizarre journey have nudged me to stay curious and keep moving forward. None of this life has turned out how I thought it would or hoped it would, and yet sometimes, I stand in awe of how beautiful it is.
Enjoying SATC the reboot
I know I will enjoy the SATC reboot without any expectations. And I certainly won’t be in the same headspace I was in my 30s, projecting falsely manicured ideals onto my womanhood. I don’t live there anymore. And I don’t care to read into the hype that much. I plan to carefully observe and admire the fashion and the accessories, and the set design. I picture myself making a bowl of popcorn and popping a bottle of non-alcoholic bubbly. And I will be intensely present for all of it. I will sit with myself as a sober, dignified, fabulous woman.
And as the Teetotaler slogan goes, “I will drink to my heart’s content without any of the after-effects” …….. because I know better, and because I have a great life to get back to after the glass is dry.
Grace & Glam,
Kate
WALK YOUR TALK with Kate Vitela is our section of the site that celebrates fashion and the role it plays in our recovery. Getting ready for life can be just as fun if not more fun, now that we’re sober…because drunk never looks good.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
