I published a roundup of the best sober Substacks to follow. The Small Bow wasn’t on it. 🤦♀️
Sit with that for a second. I run a media brand with the word “curator” in the name. I have been sober since 2006. I have spent years arguing that sober culture deserves better media than what it’s been handed. And somehow, one of the best sober newsletters on the internet didn’t make my list. FOR YEARS. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I found it on the clock. (This is the embarrassing part.) I was researching Laurie Woolever for a piece I was writing for our sober pop culture celebrity column, the kind of research that starts focused and then absolutely does not stay that way. I found her “Ask a Sober Oldster” interview, which led me to Oldster Magazine, which led me to the collaboration with a recovery newsletter called The Small Bow. One click led to another, and suddenly I was deep down a sober rabbit hole reading the archive, admiring the illustrations, and doing the math on how long this had been running without me having any awareness. HOW LONG WAS I OUT?!?!?!?
Since 2023. It launched in 2023. I have no good excuse. Apparently, I’ve been in a sober blackout. Don’t worry, this isn’t something to drink over, and yes, I plan on firing myself.
What The Small Bow Actually Is
The Small Bow is A.J. Daulerio’s project. If that name rings a bell, it’s probably from Gawker or the Hulk Hogan trial that ended it. What most people don’t know is what came after.
In 2016, Daulerio left a Florida rehab facility severely depressed and typed a search into Google that most of us have thought in one form or another during early sobriety. What came back were rehab ads, a suicide hotline, and an AP wire story about Demi Lovato. Nothing that actually met him where he was. I feel this on such an intimate level. It’s the entire reason I launched TSC back in August 2020.
That gap is what became The Small Bow, launched in 2017. Newsletter, podcast (new), daily Zoom meeting, all built around essays about the stuff underneath substance use: fear, meaning, the search for connection when you’ve burned down your old coping mechanisms. The writing is spare and funny and completely uninterested in making you feel like a patient.
The name is a lit-nerd Easter egg. It comes from a description of Charles Jackson, the author of The Lost Weekend, who was called a near hero carrying too much pain and too little grace to hold it. If you want your recovery media to also clear a literary bar, that’s your sign this one’s for you.
The Illustrations Are Half the Point
Edith Zimmerman does the artwork, and I want to be specific about why it matters. Zimmerman, who also writes the newsletter Drawing Links, gives every essay a hand-drawn, slightly wobbly warmth that no stock photo of a sunrise over a mountain could ever fake.
I kept stopping on them. There’s one portrait series running through “Ask a Sober Oldster” where each subject gets a small, loose illustration, not polished, not pretty in the conventional sense, just honest in the way a good drawing can be honest. It’s the visual equivalent of the writing itself: a little irreverent, never precious about pain. This, my friends, is sober pop culture artwork at its finest.
Ask a Sober Oldster Is the Crossover You Didn’t Know You Needed
The series launched in June 2023 as a monthly collaboration between Botton’s Oldster Magazine and The Small Bow. The premise is simple: take Oldster’s signature questionnaire, hand it to someone sober, and let them answer questions about aging and recovery with zero performance and zero polish.
First up was Martha Frankel, director of the Woodstock Bookfest. Since then the roster has included Nadia Bolz-Weber, Kim Wozencraft, and, on his own 50th birthday, Daulerio turning the questionnaire on himself.
The series just hit installment 35 with Anne Lamott, who talked about getting sober in 1986 and the exact moment she realized she was, in her words, deteriorating faster than she could lower her standards.
That’s the tone of the whole column. No rock bottom theatrics, no inspirational poster copy. Just people who’ve been sober a long time telling the truth about what it actually looks like now. This is the beat almost nobody else is covering with this much craft, the specific intersection of aging and long-term sobriety, and Botton and Daulerio have been doing it quietly for 35 installments while the rest of us caught up.
Start here (seriously, in this order):
- Anne Lamott, #35 – “deteriorating faster than she could lower her standards.” Start here. You’ll understand why.
- Martha Frankel, #1 – The one that started it all. Director of the Woodstock Bookfest, zero performance, all truth.
- Cara Benson, #32 – Poet, essayist, and she’s coming to Backstage Pass on July 15th.
- Claudia Lonow, #7 – Writer and producer. Sharp and funny in equal measure.
- Kristi Coulter, #16 – Author of Nothing Good Can Come From This. If you’ve read the book, this one hits differently.
- Laurie Woolever, #21 – Anthony Bourdain’s longtime collaborator. The food world, sobriety, and what it means to witness someone else’s unraveling.
- Margaret Cho, #24 – Exactly what you’d expect, which is to say: better than you’d expect.
Then go read the rest of them and become a supporter of The Small Bow. It’s the best $60 you’ll spend all week.
And Then There’s The Small Bow Itself
The essays are where I’d send you first. A few that stopped me:
- Anne Lamott: “Interview with a 72-Year-Old Sober Person” – Same Lamott, different format, just as good.
- Cara Benson: “Interview with a 58-Year-Old Sober Person” – Read this before July 15th.
- A.J. Daulerio: “What It’s Like to Live and Amend” – The founder writing about amends. It’s exactly as uncomfortable and necessary as it sounds.
- “On Smoking” – I’ve written about smoking a few times this year. This one made me feel less alone about it. (Read about my Jelly Shoe smoking relapse and my dance with Cyclone Pods)
And the podcast launched earlier this year. Watch the trailer, then go binge a few episodes. You’ll find your footing fast.
The Meetings
The Small Bow runs free Zoom meetings seven days a week, no subscription required. There’s a dedicated women and non-binary meeting and two mental health-focused sessions on the weekend.
You don’t need a Small Bow subscription to show up. You just need to want to be in a room, even a digital one, with people who get it. The current schedule lives on their meetings page.
Why I’m Writing About This Now
Here’s what I keep coming back to. The Sober Curator has spent years arguing that sober culture deserves literary writing, real craft, and media that doesn’t treat us like we’re still in crisis. The Small Bow has been making that exact argument since 2017, quietly and consistently, with better illustrations than most print magazines run.
I’m not mad I found it late. I’m mad I get to introduce it to you like it’s new.
Go read the archive. Start with Anne Lamott. Then go back to Martha Frankel from 2023, because watching a series find its voice over 35 installments is its own kind of good time.
Introducing Ask a Sober Oldster
SOBER ENTERTAINMENT: The 20 Best Sobriety Substacks to Follow in 2026
Welcome to The Sober Curator’s ultimate hub for SOBER ENTERTAINMENT & EVENTS —a vibrant space where living alcohol-free is anything but boring.
In the TSC Library, explore book reviews across three standout genres: #QUITLIT, Addiction Fiction, Self-Help, and even NA Recipe Book reviews.
On-screen? The Mindful Binge TV series reviews, Movie Night movie reviews, and Recovery Podcastland + Network podcast roundups all use our signature Sobees Scoring System, so you know exactly what’s worth your time.
More ways to get inspired:
- Music: Discover tunes to motivate your sober lifestyle
- Sober Sports: Stay in the loop on active, exciting events
- Sober Events: Find alcohol-free happenings in your community
- Sober Pop Culture & Celebrities: Get the latest buzz on sober stars and trends
From binge-worthy shows to can’t-miss events, this is your go-to destination for entertainment that fits your alcohol-free life.
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What is The Small Bow?
A recovery newsletter, podcast, and free daily Zoom meeting community founded by A.J. Daulerio in 2017, known for literary essays and illustrations by Edith Zimmerman.
What is “Ask a Sober Oldster”?
A monthly interview column launched in June 2023, co-produced by Oldster Magazine’s Sari Botton and The Small Bow, that asks long-term sober people Oldster’s signature questionnaire about aging and recovery.
Are The Small Bow’s meetings free?
Yes. They run seven days a week over Zoom, no qualification required, including a women and non-binary meeting and two mental health focused sessions.
Where does the name “The Small Bow” come from?
It references a description of author Charles Jackson, who wrote “The Lost Weekend,” as someone who carried too much pain relative to the grace available to him.
