FX’s highly anticipated Season 3 of the multi-award-winning series The Bear finally dropped on June 27th. And, of course, as all faithful fans did, I stayed up way past bedtime and binged it in 3 days. This one feels like a lukewarm appetizer, a setup for things to come, with miles of flashbacks filling in many backstories. However, the storyline only inches forward, resulting in everything and nothing happening simultaneously. While we get more into the psyche of characters we have come to love, multiple cliffhangers leave us starving for more and praying for Season 4.
It’s a Family Thing
One thing that became even more glaringly obvious is that alcoholism is a family disease. If left untreated, the fallout can be extreme. The main characters, Carmy, The Bear’s head chef; Syd, his friend and partner at the restaurant; and his siblings, Mikey and Sugar, are all struggling with the pain caused by growing up with alcoholic parents. This trauma plays out differently for each of them.
Sydney, who has crippling anxiety, is finally moving into her apartment after living with her father, who is in recovery from alcoholism. We have not seen evidence of trauma, but Sydney is suffering from crippling panic attacks. This is common in family members of alcoholics who are often caretakers and always worried about what could happen. The facade of having it all together is not working for her. While she is not seeking solutions for her anxiety, she is considering leaving the restaurant. No, Chef!
The Beef Before Carmy
Season 3 reveals more about the state of The Beef before Carmy took over running the family restaurant. We see that Mikey, his older brother, was considerate, kind, and unequipped to deal with the stress of daily life. This tracks as many oldest children of alcoholics end up caring for the home and other siblings, robbing them of their childhood. Mikey turned to drugs and alcohol for relief. But this kind of escape never ends well; piles of bills and pressure to succeed proved too much for him and left him nowhere else to run.
For the Love of an Alcoholic Mother
Sugar is still desperate for her mother’s love. Her inability to set boundaries and see that she did not cause it, cannot control it, and cannot cure it is interfering with her relationships with her brother, Carmy, and husband, Pete. In an epic boundary failure, her mother ends up at the bedside during her labor. While this interaction does provide some comic relief, it drags on and evokes a feeling of being stuck in unhealthy patterns and behaviors. Still the ultimate people pleaser, Sugar wants to make sure everyone around her is getting help but cannot or will not help herself.
Carmy is equally guilty. He encourages Marcus to let out his feelings while completely shutting out his own. Instead of vying for his mother’s love as Sugar does, he completely cuts her out of his life. After a stressful opening night of The Bear, he eliminates everything except work. This includes Claire and his cousin, Richie. We see some of the early days of his career as he works for some of the best chefs in the world. Although Carmy is talented and has all the skills and knowledge he needs to make The Bear a success, he continues to be his own worst critic and does not believe he deserves anything good.
This is a common defense mechanism for adult children of alcoholics. The few good childhood experiences they had did not last. As adults, they try to soften the blow from the pain of disappointment by sabotaging anything good in their lives. Watching Carmy isolate and withdraw emotionally left me sad that he cannot yet recognize this pattern and feeling lonely for him. Equally disheartening is his quest for perfectionism, further evidence of collateral damage from growing up in a chaotic environment with uncontrollable eruptions. His misery proves perfect is the enemy of good. And good can equal happy.
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Running to a Standstill
Season 3 is slower and heavier than the first two. The various forms of self-destruction exhibited by Syd and the Berzottos left me with the uncomfortable but all too familiar feeling of running on the proverbial hamster wheel of active addiction. Working nonstop to build a life while simultaneously tearing it down with untreated trauma and addiction does not allow for a happy life. It is as if the writers were intentional about wanting the audience to feel what addiction can do by making us sit in residual dysfunction. Watching it was like sitting in quicksand or trying to run through molasses but with people you really like.
I want this cast of characters to get off that hamster wheel and have a happy life. We are just not there yet. Of those suffering, Carmy is the only one working on a solution; ironically, at the request of Sugar, who does not see her own issues, Carmy is still attending Al-Anon. But not enough. There is still hope for him to get involved with the program, work the steps, evolve, and help others, starting with his family and staff. Adding some Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings is not a bad idea either.
To Be Continued
The ending of Season 3 leaves viewers with many unresolved questions and towering cliffhangers. What does the restaurant review say? Do Syd and Marcus finally hook up? What happens to Donna? Does everything go okay with Sugar and her baby? Do Claire and Carmy reconnect? Does Richie find love? Do Richie and Carmy forgive each other? Does Syd stay or go?
The Mindful Binge Sobees Score: 4.5 out of 5
The possibilities are endless and these outcomes can go a multitude of directions. With untreated addiction and trauma, possibilities narrow, and outcomes become more predictable. Because AlAnon is in the show, I hope this kind of help plays a bigger part in determining the fate of these characters. Although abrupt and unsatisfying, the season ends with “TO BE CONTINUED.” Reservations are made, and we will be patiently waiting for the main course to be served up in season 4.
Need to catch up on The Bear? Check out The Mindful Binge for reviews of SEASON ONE and SEASON TWO.
The Bear bonus
The Bear’s creator, writer/director, Christopher Storer, and executive producer, Josh Senior, are the show’s music supervisors. And the soundtracks are on point! Plenty of variety and fan favorites like Beastie Boys, Taylor Swift, Weezer, and Trent Reznor exist. They are all worth a listen to, but Season 3 is fantastic. Looking for more sober song recommendations? Check out Play it Again.
THE MINDFUL BINGE: It’s ok to indulge in a good TV series binge occasionally, as long as you do so mindfully. This section of the site explores TV series that feature addiction, recovery, and mental illness as one of the main storylines. Sober Curator Fun Fact! We’ve curated a PLAYLIST on our YOUTUBE channel with as many trailers as we could find.
Are movies more your thing? We get it. Sometimes, you need to escape for 2 hours without the commitment of an entire TV series. MOVIE NIGHT WITH THE SOBER CURATOR has your back!
If you need ideas on what to sip on while you get in that screen time, check out our HAPPY EVERY HOUR section for a complete curated list of non-alcoholic beverage options.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
