From an early age, Amber van de Bunt knew she wasn’t like the other girls in town. From childhood struggles with depression and eating disorders, her years as a topless dancer in Florida, and an eventual abortion and suicide attempt, to her rebirth in Los Angeles as a porn star named Karmen Karma, overcoming her relationship with her abusive mother, and her struggle to maintain a clean and sober lifestyle—van de Bunt’s life has been a wild rollercoaster. With humor, alacrity, and profound insight, she reveals her deepest, darkest secrets and pulls no punches—least of all with herself.
Overcome: A Memoir of Abuse, Addiction, Sex Work, and Recovery
If you’ve ever been to rehab and listened to someone share their 1st step, that is what reading this book is like in a nutshell. Unsure what I mean by that? Well, for me it was the equivalent of listening to someone’s drunk-a-log. Details of all the problems and crazy things that occurred. But, it was hard to pin down exactly how and where overcoming her demons with solutions snuck their way in. And yes, I did listen to this book on Audible versus reading it.
Mostly, this memoir is a collection of salacious stories about what Amber’s life was like as a stripper turned sex worker in active addiction. Drugs and alcohol use was a huge part of her daily routine and a driving force for her fierce determination to succeed. It pulls back the curtain on what life is like in the sex industry, showing the emotional tolls it takes on the people inside of it.
Overcoming the Reviews for this Book:
The reviews for this book are all over the board. Some women loved it, others couldn’t finish it. I guess I found myself somewhere in between. It’s not particularly well written, but in the Audible version that I listened to, it was recorded by Amber herself. I suppose this helped me visualize her gritty story that takes place in Florida and later moves on to California, with a little Las Vegas sprinkled in.
Amber’s greatest revenge was her happy ever after ending, which results in her married, with a daughter, and a well-paid entrepreneur in the sex industry. The big piece that I found lacking in this story was the actual recovery. I found it hard to wrap my head around the fact that one day she just gave up the bottle and the drugs and became a fitness junkie instead. It seemed to come as easy to her as flipping off a light switch or flipping someone off on the freeway. As someone who has also battled addiction and depression, I found that really hard to buy into. But who am I to judge another woman’s story? Her truth? Back in the early days of my recovery, I was given the invaluable advice to listen for the similarities instead of listening for the differences.
Trigger warning:
There is one chapter that describes in great detail how she felt about having an abortion. I wasn’t prepared for how graphic this recap of her experience would get. Yet I did find comfort in the fact that her thoughts were so similar to my own thoughts going through the same experience. This chapter specifically cracked my heart open and caused a flood of emotions from years long ago back into the present time. All these years later, the pain of that decision is still with me. Maybe it will always be?
It was clear how this pain went on to contribute to Amber’s addiction. In my own experience, this kind of pain is deep and there will never be enough drugs or alcohol, to mask it or make it go away. It’s said that time can heal all things. I’m not sure that’s true. But having identified with this part of Amber’s story, it was the similarity I was listening for and found.
The Sobees #QUILIT Score: 3 out of 5
The journey to Vienna
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. #QUITLIT is our curated list of addiction and recovery book reviews. From addiction and recovery memoirs to fiction and self-help, we believe all Sober Curators should be well-read. You can also find us on Goodreads here. What’s on your nightstand? We want to hear about what you’re reading right now and the addiction and recovery books you can’t live without. Email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com
SOBERSCRIBE NOW!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
