Continuing with our study of yoga philosophy, this month’s column delves into the yama, or ethical restraint, of asteya.
What’s the difference between a drug addict and an alcoholic? The alcoholic will steal your wallet and run. The addict will steal your wallet and help you look for it.
I’ve often pondered this old joke, which portrays the blundering drunk and the wily addict as thieves. But either way, they’re both thieves. And that’s what this month’s yoga philosophy column is about: the yogic principle of asteya, or non-stealing.
Are you a thief?
Back when I got sober a loooong time ago, the psychologists and counselors I talked to seemed to think many problems were unrelated. For example, my eating disorder couldn’t possibly be connected to my addiction problems, right? Wrong. Continuing research shows more and more that mental and behavioral problems often overlap and intertwine.
Take stealing. Science’s current perspective seems to be that people can have shoplifting addiction or kleptomania, which sometimes correlates with substance use disorder. Researching this article, I found that in addition to teens shoplifting for thrills, it’s common for people in early recovery to steal things. Favored items include energy drinks, tooth-whitening kits, spices, and cell phone charging cables. Why? Take away substance use, and people crave a dopamine hit. The thrill of stealing petty stuff delivers.
Interestingly, that buzz kill drug naltrexone takes the thrill out of drinking, drugs, and stealing. So, these things are definitely related. And if you’re sober enough to be reading this, you probably realize stealing is going to get you in trouble. So, stop it. Not only will you have better karma, but you might also stay out of jail.
Okay, you’re not a thief.
Or maybe this doesn’t describe you. Perhaps you were an honest drunk who never stole so much as a beer. Then asteya may sound easy. Even former juvenile delinquents might say to themselves, “Well, I’ve got that one covered. Gave up shoplifting at 15.”
But there are other ways to steal, including leaning too hard on people for their time and energy.
Perhaps you have a friend who’s been complaining about her relationship for years. After she spends an hour covering the same grievances you’ve heard 100 times before, she says, “I always feel so much better after talking to you.” But you don’t. You feel like you’ve been sucked dry by an energy vampire. This friend is stealing your emotional energy as well as your time.
Or maybe you’re the emotional vampire! If you recognize yourself in the above description, perhaps you could be kinder to your confidantes by working through your problems in a journal, support group, or with a competent counselor. Or you could buy a pet rock to whine to so you don’t bore your cat to tears.
Sometimes, we also take from each other by overusing somebody else’s skills. It’s lovely to help others out and to accept their help. But if we’re assuming that every weekend, our friend should snake our drains, clean our gutters, update our websites, hem our pants, or otherwise donate all their leisure hours to us, it’s time to learn to do these tasks ourselves or pay somebody to do them for us. Parents who work at home, self-employed people, or anybody with a flexible schedule are particular targets of time thieves.
Asteya also involves not taking what is not freely offered. If we’re nagging people for favors, those favors are not being freely offered. When we steal what’s not ours, we usually operate from a place of lack or entitlement. Neither is a pretty locale.
To ensure we’re not stealing, we should examine our relationships and consider whether we’re doing our fair share. Sometimes, we all face hardships and should be willing to give or take a bit more. But over time, we should strike an approximate balance.
SPIRITUAL GANGSTER: Exploring Yoga Philosophy: Satya – Truth « The Sober Curator
SPIRITUAL GANGSTER: Exploring Yoga Philosophy: Satya – Truth « The Sober Curator
Welcome to the ‘Spiritual Gangster’ wing of The Sober Curator, a haven for those on a sober journey with a twist of spiritual sass. Here, we invite you to plunge headfirst into a world of meditation, astrology, and spiritual reflection – all while keeping your feet (and sobriety) firmly on the ground.
Each month, our very own Analisa Six, better known as the Lady of Leosure, graces us with ‘The Sobercast with Six.’ It’s like horoscopes, but with less hocus-pocus and more sober reality checks for the coming month. And let’s not forget Daniel G Garza, or as we affectionately call him, ‘The Card Divo.’ He delivers snappy, under-a-minute weekly sober tarot card readings that’ll have you saying, “Hit me with another round…of cards!” Teresa Bergen shows us how to get bendy with mindful yoga practices, and Samantha Bushika teaches us everything we need to know about chakras, crystals, and all things woo-woo.
The newest star of this spiritual show? That’s Derek Castleman, our resident ‘Sober Stoic.’ After finding enlightenment in the Serenity Prayer and its connection to the Steps, he realized stoicism wasn’t just about keeping a stiff upper lip – it was a roadmap for leading a fulfilling life, no matter the roll of the dice.
SOBERCAST WITH SIX brings you astrology updates from our resident astrologer, tarot card reader, and Sober Curator Contributor Analisa Six.
THE CARD DIVO brings quick-hitting and intuitive horoscopes for sober people on the go. (Seriously, 1-minute once a week)
THE SOBER STOIC Sober Curator Contributor Derek Castleman is a writer, educator, scientist, data analyst, and philosopher. Struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism for over fifteen years while at the same time suffering from being bipolar, he was finally able to achieve recovery in 2018. From mental hospitals to rehab, county jail to sober living, 12 Step Programs would be his foundation, but he would eventually discover the path of Stoicism to be the key to his sobriety and sanity.
ALTAR & EGO explores topics surrounding recovery, spirituality, and mental health. We hope you will consider this section of our site as food for your sober soul. Brought to you by Sober Curator Contributor Staci DesRault
THE DAILY LLAMA brings you short, one-word weekday meditations for your complete wool-being! Brought to you by Sober Curator Contributor Staci DesRault
SPIRITUAL SUBSTANCE Lane Kennedy’s new column, coming monthly, will explore the intersections of mindfulness, science, and spirituality.
