You know how sobriety doesn’t come with fireworks or a killer ’80s soundtrack like in “Ferris Bueller’s” Day Off? It starts with one small decision. One. And then, like an old-school LEGO set, it keeps building — piece by piece — until you’ve got this badass structure that’s strong enough to carry your life through places you never imagined.
I was reflecting on this concept while I was recently in Australia, home of my husband and his family. The Sydney Harbour Bridge is not just some overpriced tourist attraction. It’s one of the most epic feats of engineering ever. It took nine relentless years to build, six million hand-heated rivets, and a whole lotta lives and vision. Sobriety’s kinda like that, too: slow, steady and 100 times harder than people think from the outside.
Sydney is an incredible, iconic city anytime. But to experience it as a sober person? That’s the way to go it, mate! You’ll have all the feels AND you’ll remember it instead of shamefully scrolling through your pictures later, shaking your head thinking, “well, it looks like I had fun.” I’ve mapped out a four-day itinerary that will give you a personal view of the city and sobriety.
And no matter what you end up doing there, you will see, drive over or sail underneath the seminal Sydney Harbour Bridge: an engineering phenomenon, a city connector and a world-famous icon.
Day 1 – Laying the First Rivet
Every journey starts with one small act of courage.
Day one? We’re not going for marathon tourism. We’re easing into the day and claiming our space. Sleep off the jet lag and start with a leisurely walk through Circular Quay, and check out the Opera House. Take pictures, it’s truly breathtaking. Grab a flat white and a croissant at House Canteen, which is nestled beneath the sails. (Pro tip: do not, under any circumstances, decline the food tent the server brings with your dish if you sit outside. Trust me, you will need it … ever seen “Finding Nemo”? “Mine! Mine! Mine!”) It’s a whole (and very real) thing.
See that giant coat-hanger-looking bridge over there? That’s your next stop: The Pylon Lookout and Sydney Harbour Bridge Museum. Standing there with all the blueprints and photos of steel, you’ll realize: everything great starts with the first, tiny piece.
Take a breath. This is the first rivet. This choice is enough.
Day 2 – Building the Foundation Below
Lasting change happens beneath the surface. The world can’t see it, but it’s there.
Today’s about building inner strength. Hop on a ferry to Manly — you’re headed to Barangaroo Wharf. Your only job on the ferry ride is to grab a beverage: this is a zero-proof opportunity to “drink in” the phenomenal harbour views.
Once in Barangaroo, opt for the Aboriginal Cultural Tour. Let the first people Indigenous guides share stories that predate colonization. It’s a good reminder that resilience in recovery isn’t just some happy-clappy thing — it’s deep, hard-earned strength that connects us all.
Next, take the metro from Barangaroo to Central Station, and then hop on the T1 train to Milsons Point. You’re headed to Kirribilli, to check out the chic cafes and boutiques. Stroll around Jeffries Street and check out the heritage homes. Make your way to Luna Park and if you’re not down to snap a picture under the famous (yet admittedly somewhat creepy) sign, turn around and grab a peek (and a pic) of the bridge from this amazing vantage point.
Polish off the night with dinner at Australia’s Oldest Sailing Club, the Sydney Flying Squadron- where Foys Kirribilli is known as one of the best local seafood bars (P.S. I highly recommend the fish tacos with pineapple salsa and chipotle mayo. Life changing!) Bonus: They have a variety of weekly nightly activities, including trivia nights … and something I personally haven’t been to yet, but it sounds amazing, called the Meat Raffle. (My next trip will be situated around meat raffle night … obviously.)
Day 3 – Rising the Arch
Own your own space.
In case no one has told you recently, your life and recovery are yours to navigate. It’s up to you to choose to care for yourself and choose activities that work for you and your comfort and energy level. If you need to, give yourself the gift of rest and allow yourself a delicious sleep-in, in case you’re still a little bit upside down from jetlag. Permission to chill is hereby granted.
If your recovery involves twelve-step meetings, make your way to the 12:30 Bondi Junction 4D Rocket Meeting (located in the “Sports Room” at Margaret Whitlam Recreation Centre.) Don’t freak out when you realize you’re basically in a big park with a footy oval, you’ll find your way, trust me! Just take a breath, buy a coffee from the cute little stand and continue on the pathway. Stay on the path, follow where it leads and you will make your way to the “Sports Room” without a hassle. I’ve been to this meeting several times in the past and have even celebrated a soberversary here once … they are a super friendly group.
After getting your sober on, meander off from the meeting in Bondi with a coastal walk, Choose Your Own Adventure type option: Bondi Icebergs or Bronte Baths. Pro Tip: These are mostly paved paths with occasional steps, so they are very comfortable for most walkers. Here’s a little about both places:
The Bondi Icebergs … head northeast of the centre and you’ll find another iconic ocean pool located at the southern end of Bondi Beach, started in 1929 by local lifeguards. It was named the “icebergs” after a group of year-round swimmers who squeeze into the Speedo and dive in, regardless of the temperature. (Hmmm, sounds sort of like being in long-term recovery: the “no matter what club” means we choose sobriety every day, including holidays and weekends.)
Or head a bit further south along the coast to the Bronte Baths … a unique infinity pool over the Pacific Ocean where you can catch surfers and the Brontë Bogey Hole, a naturally occurring ring of rocks, nestled into the southern corner of Brontë Beach. The views from the pool, or the clifftop on the headland above the pool, are some of the best Sydney has to offer.
Look, no worries about choosing the “right” one, mate. Both are absolutely picturesque, Instagram-worthy settings.
After you’ve gotten all beachy, head to The Pavilion in the Royal Botanic Garden to grab a late lunch and replenish your energy … they are open till 4:30, they have jaw-dropping views and they take reservations up to six months in advance. If you’re still ok after that, head to Sydney by Kayak and take in a view of the bridge with nothing between you and the harbour but a small, narrow watercraft for one with a paddle. Polish off the evening with a simple dinner at Maybe Sammy and reflect on your lovely day.
Day 4 – The Last Rivet
Maintenance Mode: Still Sober. Still Here. Still Magic.
The final rivet in the Sydney Harbour Bridge was driven in 1932, but the work never stopped. Same goes for sobriety. That bridge’s gotta be maintained — and so does your recovery.
Today’s about honoring that quiet, gritty perseverance. Take today a bit slower and honor a day of reflection and rest as you prepare for the next leg of your journey, whatever it may be.
Start with the St. James Tunnel Tour, a subterranean reminder that some paths are hidden — and progress isn’t always linear. It’s a surreal, beautiful reminder that not all progress is visible. Sometimes the path is hidden.
OK, a sober person cannot go to Sydney without visiting Sans Drinks bottle shop. Their retail store is located at: 404 Sydney Rd, Balgowlah (shop 1 on ground floor, Balgowlah NSW 2093.) Sans Drinks boasts an impressive and extensive selection of non-alcoholic wines, spirits and beers. Their aesthetic inside the retail shop alone is enough to make you want to stroll around and hang out for at least half an hour. Grab a “Nocktail Strawberry Daiquiri” or a Bach Brewing “All Day IPA” or ask the staff for their recommendations.
After picking up your alcohol-free bevvy from Sans Drinks, you’ve got some stellar options for a choose-your-own-adventure-style picnic nearby … Just a 5–10 minute stroll down Condamine Street lands you at North Harbour Reserve — a chill, shady spot right by the harbour with a playground, BBQs and benches for that laid-back, feet-up experience. Or … if you’re game for a bit of an uphill walk (8–10 minutes), Tania Park rewards you with panoramic harbour views, open grassy fields, BBQs and a playground — a perfect setting if you’re into a little hilltop ambiance with your snacks. Or, for a beachy detour with bonus coastal walk vibes, head toward Forty Baskets Beach, about 15 minutes away or a short scenic walk from North Harbour Reserve along the Manly Scenic Walkway. You’ll find enclosed swimming, grassy picnic spots, swings, BBQs and harbour views that scream “this is the life.” Wherever you land, it’s a win, mate.
Next, hit up the White Rabbit Gallery for some wildly bold contemporary art (because why not finish with a little weird and wonderful?) Like many Aussies, you’ll find the staff are approachable and insightful — ready to chat about the meaning behind challenging pieces and help decode unfamiliar aesthetics. After you’ve enjoyed the fantastical world of the White Rabbit, take a few moments to sit down, relax and sip a sparkling oolong in the teahouse. Go back to your hotel and get ready for a final dinner out in the magical city of Sydney.
Dinner at Aria makes for a dreamy final night in Sydney. Accompanying the recently remixed menu is a lavish, almost luxury, non-alcoholic set of mocktail pairing options. The “Bel Canto” (meaning “beautiful song”) is made of strawberry shrub, lemon myrtle and orange blossom … *chef’s kiss.* Soak in the evening view of the Sydney Harbour and the Opera House for one last enchanted evening … .but no worries: as they say Down Under, she’ll be right, mate …. You’ll return to Oz for more amazing experiences.
Remember: the last rivet isn’t the end. It’s the beginning of maintenance and staying grounded.
The Bridge Still Holds
Each rivet has a greater purpose … together, they hold up that bridge as a team.
The Sydney Harbour Bridge doesn’t need perfection. It needs connection. Steel to steel, breath to breath. Your sobriety’s the same. You only have to drive one rivet today.
And tomorrow? Tomorrow will worry about itself. Today, it’s just one little connective touchpoint.
Eventually, the bridge you’re building becomes something strong enough to carry your beautiful, wide-open life … and then it’s all about maintaining it.
One day at a time.
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