Awkward moments. We’ve all been there, right? Wardrobe malfunctions, uncontrollable diarrhea of the mouth, various bodily mishaps—these things humble us in new ways when we get sober. We no longer have alcohol to blame and (gasp) we get to feel ALL our uncomfortable feelings.
The more we embrace embarrassment, the easier it gets. Awkward moments right-size us. We learn to laugh at ourselves, which allows us to see ourselves through a fresh lens. As our self-acceptance grows, we realize not only are we surviving…but we are thriving.
Back at the end of March, we asked YOU, our dear sober readers, to send us your awkward sober stories and you did NOT disappoint! Read on to laugh, cringe, and feel the stomach plummeting moments of those who’ve been to the depths of awkwardness and lived to tell the tale.
Psssttt...You’re invited to join in the fun!
Submit your mortifying story and show others that we can stay sober through embarrassment, and we are not a glum lot! Send the best, most hilarious, cringeworthy moments of your recovery to assistant@amylizharrison.com If your story is selected, it will be published right here at The Sober Curator in our newest section Eternally Awkward.
Half-Baked
It was my turn to bring the treats for the birthday and anniversary celebration at my regular weekly meeting. I was craving making a dessert from scratch from my homeland, it contains dairy and eggs, and it’s not cooked all the way through, but it is very good and I knew my home group would like it. Well, unfortunately, I gave everybody food poisoning at the meeting. Next time I will pick up a cake from Safeway.
– Anonymous
Litter-ally Awkward
At the onset of zoom meetings, we were all learning on-camera etiquette. My cat’s litter box was behind me on the ground but my computer screen was angled in such a way that everybody could see my cat go behind me and raise his tail, and proceed to use the restroom. During my share! Text messages started flying in, and I was so embarrassed.
– Anonymous
Let Go & Let Gas
There was a restroom attached to where we held our meetings in a church basement. I went in to use the restroom and passed some very loud gas. I felt safe because nobody else was in there, someone in the meeting was sharing something funny, and everyone was laughing. Certainly, the laughter covered up the sounds I was making one room over. The following week the preamble had changed to include the phrase “if you use the restroom, be sure to note that there is an echo and we can hear everything that goes on.” I thought I was going to die.
-Anonymous
Who Wants Smores?
It was my first time attending an all-sober campout and while roasting marshmallows with my sober coach, I accidentally skewered him in the eye. We had to rush him to the nearest urgent care, which was 20 miles away.
-Anonymous
9-1-1 I’m Single (& Sober)
A few years back, I was on a date that was going pretty well. We decided to go back to his house and watch some Saturday Night Live. An activity appropriate for a sober date. We started making out a little. My Apple watch started vibrating repeatedly. Finally, I asked to take a moment so I could see why my phone was blowing up. Turns out I accidentally called 9-1-1 and notified ALL of my emergency contacts with an SOS Message that included my GPS location. Apparently, this is a feature if you hit the button on the side of your watch 5 times in a row. Which, apparently, can happen when making out. ‘Ahem.
-Single & Sober in Seattle
Don’t forget! You’re invited to join in the fun!
Submit your mortifying story and show others that we can stay sober through embarrassment, and we are not a glum lot! Send the best, most hilarious, cringeworthy moments of your recovery to assistant@amylizharrison.com If your story is selected, it will be published right here at The Sober Curator in our newest section Eternally Awkward.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
