Before I joined a 12-step community—courtesy of a non-optional invitation from the local police department back in 2011—I distinctly remember sitting on a crusty old couch of unknown origin with my best friend, chugging a room-temperature facsimile of chardonnay directly from the spigot of a dusty, bottom-shelf box from CVS. Classy.
Twisting the bladder to ensure it was empty, we passed it back and forth. We continued ranting about how recovery meetings were basically the most depressing thing we could possibly envision. We imagined a circle of sad strangers in a fluorescent-lit church basement, a super-sized, random fly making its way around the buzzing light bulb. Unsure whether the light or the fly caused the super-sonic humming, the strangers inwardly contemplated this question while sipping weak coffee from Styrofoam cups.
Occasionally, a person who looked like an extra on the set of The Walking Dead would nervously confess a sin to the rest of the group. Collectively, the other group members would nod and sigh, the distinctly pungent smell of eau de mothballs and regret filling the stifling room.
We were horrified.
We agreed—swore, even—that if we ever wound up in a place like that, we’d rather fake our own deaths and move to Belize. Or Toronto. It mattered not.
What I eventually realized when I became one of those 12-step meeting attendees was that my life was far from over. Actually, it was just beginning. And what I thought a “recruit” for the program looked like… wasn’t even close. Sometimes, because of a name, terminology, folklore, or something we’ve heard or imagined, things just aren’t what they seem. One of our challenges in recovery is to learn to practice impermanence and acceptance, allowing things to unfold as they will.
Speaking of getting hung up on terminology, there’s no better example I can think of than the stunning scenery of limestone rock formations known as the Twelve(ish) Apostles along the Great Ocean Road in Australia. (Fun fact! There are, in actuality, only eight!) The first time I heard that, I was instantly annoyed —and I’m embarrassed to admit it took me a while in that moment to realize I possibly could have used a mental reset. Possibly.
Today, I offer you a perfect mindset reset if you ever find yourself in Melbourne: a personal invitation to take a day trip down the Great Ocean Road.
A Couple Things About The Twelve(ish) Apostles:The Twelve(ish) Apostles Australia
These rock stacks seem to rise from the ocean like a squad of sober friends—battered by storms, still holding space. They sit within Port Campbell National Park, part of the traditional lands of the Gunditjmara people, whose cultural connection to land and sea runs deep.
A note on the fact that there were never Twelve Apostles: The original formation was nine, now eight, due to erosion over time.
Sow and Piglets was the original name (oink). However, in the 1920s, they received a biblical upgrade to “The Twelve Apostles.” Personally, I think the newer name is misleading and also potentially off-putting; therefore, the Twelve(ish) Apostles are possibly due for another rebrand at this point, but nobody’s asked me. (Rude.)
A Little Timeline of How Things Went Down (Literally):
Over time, the Twelve(ish) Apostles began to erode.
- January 15, 1990 – A connecting section of London Bridge collapsed; two tourists were rescued by helicopter.
- July 3, 2005 – A large formation, aptly named “Judas”, collapsed. (Traitor. 😉)
- June 10, 2009 – The Loch Ard Gorge archway collapsed. Today, instead of two connected islands, there are two tiny separate islands with caves, named Tom & Eva. (The two survivors of the Loch Ard Shipwreck of 1878.)
Despite their erroneous name, these changing rock formations matter because they…
- Stand tall despite erosion and storms.
- Represent resilience and transformation.
- They are shaped by time, pressure, and patience.
- Don’t care what (or why) they’re named.
- Still draws millions, seeking awe and reflection.
If I were the bossy type (and sometimes I am), I’d tell you exactly how to enjoy a day trip (or 2) on the Great Ocean Road—newsflash: I’m going to.
Know Before You Go:
The Twelve(ish) Apostles are located in southeastern Australia—about a 4.5-hour drive from Melbourne, give or take. If you’ve got the time, take it slow. Split this into two days if you can. Alternatively, depending on the number of days you have, design your itinerary.
Important: If you don’t typically drive on the left side of the road, consider joining a tour or hiring a driver. It’s just… a lot to drive on the “wrong” side, especially while jet-lagged, mmmkay? Safety first.
First Things First:
Windows down. Playlists up—R.E.M., Crowded House, and yes, even a little Spice Girls. Because: balance. Hello?
Melbourne CBD → Torquay: Approx. 105 km
Head out of the city to Torquay and check out the surfing vibes. Rip Curl and Quiksilver both have their headquarters for contests here. Just south is Bells Beach, one of Australia’s most iconic surfing beaches (at least in Victoria).
Fun fact: if you’ve seen Point Break with Keanu Reeves, you might remember Johnny Utah heading to Bells Beach for the climactic “50-year-storm.” But—nah, mate, nah. Just like there are only really eight apostles along the Great Ocean Road (not twelve), that beach was actually in Ecola State Park near Cannon Beach, Oregon. Just like naming those nine (eight) rocks the Twelve(ish) Apostles, we’ve been bamboozled…at least twice. I digress.
Torquay → Great Ocean Road Arch: Approx. 18 km
In about 30 minutes, you’ll reach the iconic Great Ocean Road Arch. You have to stop and take a pic. Sorry, it’s mandatory.
Then pull over at Teddy’s Lookout. Take another pic. You won’t be able to help yourself—no arm-twisting by me required.
Roll on through Kennett River Walk, where sleepy koalas curl up in eucalyptus trees. There’s something profound about watching an animal be—no numbing, no striving. Just…existence. (And what do they do a LOT of? Sleeping. No shame in their game.)
If you’re the outdoorsy type, take a hike through the rainforests at Great Otway National Park, where ancient ferns remind us that growth takes time, and healing is part of the design.
Kennett River → Apollo Bay: Approx. 23 km
Stop for lunch in Apollo Bay—let’s be real, you know it’s gonna be fish and chips with a bottle of Solo or Bundaberg ginger beer, am I right? (Apollo Bay is also a great place to post up for the night.) Then, BOLO (be on the lookout) for more koalas near Cape Otway Lighthouse. Trust me: if you seek them, ye shall find them.
Apollo Bay → Twelve(ish) Apostles: Approx. 85 km
Keep cruising. About an hour out of Apollo Bay, boom—you’re officially at the Twelve(ish) Apostles. I mean, it’s truly breathtaking to see the epic towering limestone giants standing stoic against the Southern Ocean. These formations have endured centuries of crashing waves and battering winds. Just like us, they may be weathered, but still standing…just for today.
Things to Consider During Your Time at the Twelve(ish) Apostles:
- Forget the name. Don’t let the Biblical branding keep you from soaking in the wonder.
- Don’t rush it. Stop at all the lookout points. Hike the Gibson Steps (if able) and get another perspective. You’ll be amazed by their scale.
- Contemplate their relevance to the Twelve Steps, if you’re so inclined. (Hint! There’s an optional meditation following!)
Reflective Meditation for the Twelve(ish) Apostles and the Twelve Steps While Exploring the Shipwreck Coast:
Step 1 – Admitting powerlessness
A storm is raging and the beach is terrorized. Our vessel creaks and cracks, groans, and we hear the sound of wood splitting. We admit we can’t control the tides. Erosion starts on the rocky beach. The vessel capsizes in the wind and high waves. We’re powerless to control it.
Step 2 – Believing in a higher power
We’re at rock bottom, literally. Our vessel, our security, is gone. Devastated, we eventually come to believe that there has to be something to hope for.
Step 3 – Turning our will over
We now decide, actively, that we have no alternative but to trust in this hope of a new start. We call it our Higher Power because our efforts have failed, so it must be a power stronger than us. We choose to believe in it.
Step 4 – Fearless moral inventory
We realize the hits we’ve taken and dealt to others. We take an honest look at the disaster on the beach. We come face to face with our shipwrecked vessel.
Step 5 – Admitting to ourselves and another
We ask for help. Although it’s scary, we inspect the extent of the post-storm beach and damaged vessel with another person. We can’t solve the problem with the same brain that got us into it.
Step 6 – Becoming ready to let go
We have stopped trying to throw tape over the gaping holes in the shipwrecked vessel. We make a pile of everything that no longer serves us. We’re willing to let it all go.
Step 7 – Humbly asking for help
We now know we cannot keep this vessel afloat alone. We let our Higher Power be the engine.
Step 8 – Making a list of amends
We scan our coastline for all the wreckage of our waves. We make sure we are ready to do some serious beach clean-up and vessel repair.
Step 9 – Making amends
Armed with trash bags and towels, we show up, ready to get wet and sandy and dirty on this beach, and do meticulous vessel repairs. We face this process ruthlessly, and we truly own it.
Step 10 – Ongoing inventory
We watch for cracks and weak spots in our vessel, as well as messes on the beach. We take responsibility and make the necessary adjustments.
Step 11 – Prayer and meditation
We sit still on the vessel deck or in a quiet cove in the morning and at night. We breathe. We’re honest with ourselves. Our spirit is renewed. Direction returns. Our self-love grows. No matter how much erosion occurs to our foundations, we now trust the process. We’re not so hung up on the fact that the Twelve Apostles are eight. 🙂
Step 12 – Carrying the message
We are now part of the ongoing rescue. We remain ready with that life preserver in case someone calls out for help.
Final Reflection: The Ocean Doesn’t Stop, and Neither Do We
Sobriety is about connection. About honestly showing up and doing the work. It’s not perfection—it’s transformation. And these rock stacks? They remind me of the people who’ve held the light when I felt lost in the fog: my sponsor, new friends at meetings, random chats in airports. Shared experience shapes us. The rocks aren’t permanent, and neither are these people. But their impact will last forever. In recovery, we become lighthouses, not shipwrecks, if we stay. If we share.
Sobriety isn’t erasure. It’s reinvention. The Twelve(ish) Apostles may be physically fading, but their legacy holds like anyone who gets sober and stays the course.
You may not stay the same. That’s okay. That’s the point. We’re meant to be reshaped.
Bonus stop: if you’re interested, there’s an AA Meeting in Terang, about 26 kilometers away from Port Campbell. Currently, it’s on Sundays at 7 PM, and it’s a friendly, open meeting. It was my experience that stepping inside that circle was like finding one more fantastic scenic lookout—I could breathe deeply, finding myself grateful, grounded, and reminded that I’m not alone on this road. OH! And then there’s this: the coffee at the meeting is life-changingly delicious, and NO ONE smells like mothballs.
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