After watching the Charlie Sheen documentary, I was left with one question: “Will the real Charlie Sheen please stand up?” Is he just a caricature of himself or is there a real human being in there? I was hoping to get an insight, see some remorse perhaps and learn about his process of recovery — but instead I was left with confusion, sadness and frustration with a guy who is still stuck in the bravado and romanticizing of his addiction. He clearly does not get the impact he has had on his life and the tornado that blew through the lives of others.
We start with Charlie being interviewed in an empty diner by the documentarian. The purpose of this setting is unclear … simplicity? Coffee, not booze? He’s just a regular guy like the rest of us? What happens for the first two and a half hours of this documentary is basically the linear progression of the insanity of his disease. As he says, “Untreated crazy doesn’t get better, it just gets worse over time.” We witness addiction at its finest.
The first words across the screen are: ”First there is partying, then partying with problems and then just problems.” This represents the trajectory of his addiction, which we saw carried out in the media for decades.
The end of this 35-year binge of destruction was a tour of the United States while he wore his ballcap that said “Winning” (irony!) and pursued obsessively a lawsuit against the network for firing him from the show “Two and a Half Men.” Deeply disturbing to watch, we see his addictions to alcohol, cocaine, sex and attention forge the path on his rebel tour called The Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option. The reality behind this tour was just a very, very sick addict gasping for his last breath of righteousness at being wronged.
It was embarrassing to watch — and enraging to hear and think about the people who supported and enabled it for financial gain — while he descended into the depths of a limitless bottom and desires of suicide by the tour’s end.
We witness an insatiable hunger for anything that will take him to new heights of mind alteration. Even his drug dealer was worried about him and started gradually and secretly reducing the potency of his drug supply so he could wean him off slowly. What we witness is the shattering of family, relationships, marriages, jobs, friendships and his mental and physical health.
He experiences years of scandals, rehabs, interventions, drug arrests, divorces, psychological deterioration, sex addiction, delusions of grandeur and the deep and bottomless need to escape his life. He claims this endless search for the perfect high was due to the connection that happened psychologically and physically while he was receiving oral sex while smoking crack. He chased this high for the rest of his using life — never to be gratified again.
What was missing from this documentary? Absent was someone in touch with what happened and the depth of the emotional, physical, psychological, relational and spiritual consequences. He has access to many experts, an overwhelming amount of support and yet there was no level of insight outside of telling the story of his addiction adventures. His father and brother chose not to participate in this film; most likely because they would not want to rehash the last 40 years of pain and trauma that they experienced loving someone with an addiction.
At certain points there was still the old addict Charlie with the crooked smile saying things like, “A lot of it was fun … and life goes on.” What?! Seriously, Charlie? That is one detached dude. Still laced through his conversations was the tone of resentment and anger. These old feelings are not gone or resolved — just buried alive. One reviewer points out that the viewer ends up pitying everyone around him more than we pity him.
He has not downloaded to his conscious self the degree of what happened: the fact that he has HIV and the depths of shame that rest in his soul. Maybe it is just too painful.
So why did he do this? That was unclear as well. He says at one point it was to clear up the “concept of me” and how the public has perceived him — to set the record straight. The thing is, we already know what happened. It has been all over the media for years. What we’re more interested in: What has he been doing for eight years? What has he done to get and remain sober? What is he doing now to get well, resolve the pain of the past, heal his relationships and be of service?
Has he taken responsibility for his life or does he just want people to “get him”? Frankly, his story is just another story of addiction. Period. The problem was he had too much money, too many people benefiting and too much leeway because of his celebrity status — which almost killed him. What’s missing is some humility and deep self-reflection. Otherwise, it is just one more sad tale of addiction.
Movie Night Sobees Score: 3 out of 5
SOBER CURATOR PODCAST: The Cost of “Winning”: What the Charlie Sheen Doc Gets Right — and What Recovery Deserves
aka Charlie Sheen | Official Trailer | Netflix
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