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Home - Addicted to the Hustle: Why Selling Drugs Was Harder For Me to Quit Than Using Them 
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Addicted to the Hustle: Why Selling Drugs Was Harder For Me to Quit Than Using Them 

Samantha BushikaBy Samantha BushikaMarch 6, 20259 Mins Read
Addicted to the Hustle Samantha Bushika
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I never set out to be a drug dealer, let alone an addict. I was smart—a straight-A student, an athlete, even part of the gifted program. But life had a way of pulling me into the shadows. Selling drugs wasn’t just about money; it was survival, validation, and a twisted sense of belonging. 

Walking away? That felt impossible. No job would hire me, but in my world, I was treated like a goddess. The fast cash, the power, the sense of importance—it was addictive. Looking back, I realize I wasn’t just hooked on the drugs. I was addicted to the hustle itself. 

The Allure of the Hustle 

I started stealing my mom’s drugs at fourteen. By fifteen, she was stealing mine. She was always high, always in need, and I quickly learned that her desperation was an opportunity. It wasn’t long before I moved beyond weed to harder drugs, and suddenly, I wasn’t just a user—I was the one people relied on. 

It felt good to be needed. It made me feel important, even if I knew deep down they only wanted what I had in my pockets. That didn’t matter. In their eyes, I wasn’t invisible anymore. I mattered. 

Selling a Sense of Belonging 

Jail was inevitable, but I wasn’t afraid. Even behind bars, I found ways to keep the hustle alive. I smuggled drugs in, detoxed girls in exchange for favors, and maintained my status. I always had something to offer. 

Even after I got out, I couldn’t let go. The thought of a nine-to-five job, scraping by on minimum wage, was unbearable. I wasn’t just selling drugs; I was selling a sense of belonging. And in my mind, walking away meant losing everything that made me relevant. 

The Cost of Staying in the Cycle 

The hustle gave me freedom, but it also took everything from me—my relationships, my self-worth, my sanity. I wasn’t just running a business; I was running from my pain. The paranoia, the constant fear of getting caught, the betrayals—I numbed it all with the very thing I sold. 

I still flinch when I hear a knock at the door. My kids jump with me. Trauma lingers. The streets took so much from me, and I gave willingly because, for years, I believed I had nothing else. 

Breaking Free 

Leaving wasn’t easy. It meant confronting everything I had buried—the abandonment, the shame, the self-hatred. It meant redefining my value outside of what I could provide. It meant learning to be okay without the rush, the power, the false sense of importance. 

Today, I am a mother, a homeowner, and an entrepreneur. I channel my ambition into something real—something that doesn’t come with handcuffs or funerals. It’s not easy. Some days, I still crave the chaos. But I’ve learned that real freedom isn’t in the hustle—it’s in breaking the cycle. 

For anyone still caught in that life, know this: You are more than your past. You don’t have to keep proving yourself to people who wouldn’t notice if you disappeared. There is another way. And when you’re ready, you’ll find it. 

If this story resonates with you, let’s connect. You’re not alone. There’s a whole world waiting for you beyond the hustle. 

Final Thoughts 

It’s very clear that I wasn’t just addicted to drugs—I was addicted to the hustle, the fast money, and the illusion of power it gave me. It felt like the best thing I had going for me, which says something. But in reality, it was costing me everything—my freedom, homes, cars, property, relationships, lives, and my own sanity. Not to mention the many brushes with serious injury or death, and there were quite a few. 

The hustle was a trap disguised as opportunity, and breaking free from it has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I have twenty years of failures/lessons to prove it. Today, I am a professional coach. I have two beautiful children. I own a home with a valuation of 350k. I am a crypto-enthusiast and investor (self-taught), I have a freaking stock portfolio! I am the founder of my blog, Progressing Not Perfecting, and somehow, I became someone who genuinely loves life no matter what it throws at me. 

I was always the one that would “…turn up dead next.” You have no idea what a miracle my life has become. Like I always say, if you believe, you receive. You’d do good to remember this on your journey. An open mind never hurt anyone, but a closed one has turned wisdom away at the door, along with thousands of missed opportunities. 

For anyone out there caught up in the game, I want you to know that there is another way. The lifestyle might seem like the only thing keeping you afloat, but I promise you, it’s not. Don’t worry if N.A./A.A. isn’t your thing; don’t lose hope because I will have nine years sober on March 18, 2025, and this was my first attempt in twenty years without utilizing A.A./N.A. It does work for hundreds of thousands of people, and I am all about it, but for those of us who always ended up selling at meetings—we don’t need it.  

There are treatment options, support services, and people who genuinely want to see you win—without the need for illegal drugs, deception, shame, regret, or self-destruction. The first step is the scariest, but it’s also the most important thing you can do for yourself. You must BELIEVE you can… and YOU WILL. 

Leaving behind the world of drug dealing doesn’t mean giving up on success; it means redefining it. It’s about learning how to deal with stressful situations without allowing them to trigger you, about finding real fulfillment beyond the rush of your hustle. It’s about addressing your mental health issues because we all have them, building healthy relationships because they do exist, and believing that you’re capable of more than what the streets have led you to believe because you absolutely are. 

If my story resonates with you, this is the sign you’ve been looking for. A sign that change is possible. Whether you’re a young person just starting out or someone who’s been in the game for a great deal of time as I was, know that it’s never too late to make a different choice. Seek professional support, lean on family members, and most importantly, believe in yourself—even if it feels impossible. 

For me, every day is a reminder that I don’t need to buy people’s love or attention, that I don’t need to hustle to feel valuable, and that the real work is finding that value within myself. Though it’s a journey filled with ups and downs, it’s been the best way to reclaim my life. One of the most beneficial and rewarding things that I never imagined would be a part of my recovery is altruism. Helping people is what I live for. I do it every day and in every way, and somehow it’s working. I couldn’t be more grateful. 

If you’re struggling with a substance abuse problem, being reintegrated into the community from jail, dependent on illegal substances, or just feeling like you’re stuck in a cycle you can’t escape, know that there is help available and people do care. Reach out for emotional support, explore your next step, and don’t let your past experiences define your future. 

The right thing isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. 

If This Post… 

If this post resonated with you or you would like to add or share something, please do so in the comments below. You know I love to hear from you. You could also support my work by liking, sharing, commenting, subscribing, following, and registering to join our free-of-charge, supportive, all-inclusive, judgment-free, meet-you-where-your-at online community where we are all working together to #provethemallwrong and #showthemwhatwecando. 

In our support forums, you can give or receive support all on the same day. This community is for all of us who are more progressors, less perfectors. Addiction is not a prerequisite. All are welcome. This is a new, growing community, so please be patient. If there are any issues, please contact me at support@samanthabushika.com. 


Post Off Quote 

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” 

Helen Keller

Post Off Affirmation 

There are many lessons behind me, but I am not defined by my past; I am determined, heading towards the beauty of my future. 

More posts by Samantha:

  • My Life as a Female Drug Dealer Just Trying to Support My Habit 
  • What Your “Friends” Don’t Tell You Before Helping You Become a Heroin Addict 
  • Why You Lost All Your Friends When You Got Sober 
  • We Do Recover and We Prove Them All Wrong 
  • How to Keep Going After Losing Someone to Overdose 

Speak Out Speak Loud

SPEAK OUT! SPEAK LOUD! This is where our readers and contributors take center stage, sharing their transformative sobriety journeys. Often, sobriety uncovers hidden talents, abilities, and new avenues of self-expression. By sharing these stories, we not only facilitate personal healing but also offer hope to those still navigating the path of recovery. So, let’s raise our voices, Speak Out, and Speak Loud! In doing so, we combat the silence that often shrouds addiction, offering solace and inspiration.

We invite you to share your unique expressions of recovery here—be it through videos, poems, art, essays, opinion pieces, or music. We can’t wait to hear from you! Please email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social!

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in the Speak Out! Speak Loud! are solely the opinions of the contributing author of each individual published article and do not reflect the views of The Sober Curator, their respective affiliates, or the companies with which The Sober Curator is affiliated.


Help is Available

THE SOBER CURATOR RESOURCE GUIDE: At The Sober Curator, we provide high-quality content centered around the vibrant and fulfilling lifestyle of sobriety. While our focus is on the positive aspects of sober living, we also acknowledge that life can present challenges without the aid of alcohol or substances. Coping with these challenges alone can be daunting, which is why we strongly believe in finding recovery within a supportive community because it is the opposite of addiction.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol use disorder, substance use disorder, a co-occurring illness, or a behavioral health disorder, we urge you to seek help. While the task may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that support is readily available and that there are people out there who want to help.

It’s crucial to remain persistent in your search for assistance until you find the right solution for your unique situation. In some cases, it could be a matter of life or death, so it’s essential to never give up on finding the necessary help.

If your life or someone else’s is in imminent danger, please call 911. If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call: 988.

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Samantha Bushika
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Samantha Bushika is a coach and blogger determined to save the world. Knowing that it's a tall order, she is focused, at the very least, on leaving the world a better place than when she found it. She is starting by building supportive, Judgement-free, all-inclusive communities that meet people where they’re at, via her blog and others, for those in recovery and those still struggling with SUD. Sam is seven years sober from a near-lifelong addiction to heroin and refuses to sit back and watch others go through what she has been through.

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1 Comment

  1. Dr Sarah on March 8, 2025 4:46 am

    Such an awesome article about hope, transformation, possibility and finding a new life. So many great insights on the underlying emotional needs getting met by these behaviors and how to shift that to a wonderful, fulfilling, rewarding, connected ..space..Also about new journeys in recovery and what works for one person, may not work for another! Great job Samantha! I related to all of it, especially the hustle and lifestyle, “ redefining my value outside of what I could provide” powerful words
    Thank you!

    Reply
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