I was introduced to the idea of glory through my Christian faith. Or maybe through watching Raiders of the Lost Ark. That mysterious force powerful enough to destroy those who look upon it. A power both good and evil seek to possess. Glory.
I have come to believe that love is glory.
I believe this because I feel so uncomfortable when someone gives me a compliment. I believe it when I want to say something deeply meaningful to someone, but cannot bring myself to speak, afraid the words themselves might fracture the relationship. I believe it when I cannot explain why I do not reach out to the people I love more, except that missing them hurts too much.
Love is a glorious thing we hold instinctively, protectively. We cling to it in our subconscious, then build explanations around it with our conscious mind. Glory is the love we reserve for people, ideas, and callings we cannot imagine living without, ever truly knowing.
We make our worst mistakes with the people we care about most because we cannot tolerate the weight of how deeply we feel. We struggle to understand the paths love forces us to walk, paths that are often narrow, painful and uncertain.
Addiction grows from the same place. We do not know how to live with love when it is absent, and we do not know how to endure it when it is present. Our bodies and minds cannot bear the intensity of its glory.
So we escape. We use. We fill our lives with distractions and idols to dull the presence of love we cannot tolerate in its pure form.
Recovery begins when we let love back in gradually—piece by piece. We learn how much we can hold at one time and accept that limit without shame. We stop demanding total transformation and settle instead for honest progress.
But eventually, sobriety alone is not enough. We face the same unresolved wounds, often the same untreated mental health struggles. And once again, we are tempted to hide from love.
I ask this of you, my loves: Do not hide.
Learn what you can withstand. Learn how much glory you can hold without breaking, and allow yourself only that much. Do not run from the thing that saves us, the force that our lives orbit, even when we are unaware of it.
Know that you are loved by people you have not yet met. Loved by people who know your name and people who never will. Loved more deeply than you understand.
We cannot escape love or glory. We can only shield ourselves from them. And when we do, we lose the very reason we fight to stay alive.
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Call 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It provides free and confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week for people in suicidal crisis or distress. You can learn more about its services here, including its guide on what to do if you see suicidal language on social media. You can also call that number to talk to someone about how you can help a person in crisis. For crisis support in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454.
For support outside of the US, a worldwide directory of resources and international hotlines is provided by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. You can also turn to Befrienders Worldwide.
Help is Available
If you or someone you love is living with substance use, alcohol misuse, a co-occurring, or a behavioral health disorder, there is hope. The Break Free Foundation aids individuals seeking recovery through the Break Free Scholarship Fund. It sends anyone who lacks the financial resources to attend a recovery center to do so at low to no cost.
Review our Treatment Locator Tool to find the right program near you, as well as our list of Hotlines and Helplines. Click here for a list of regional and national resources. On this road to recovery, no one is alone. We are all in this together.
