Sliding into DMs in 2026 still works. I have receipts. Two months ago, I sent a Hail Mary message to one of my favorite authors. Last Tuesday, she walked into BACKSTAGE.
A couple of years ago I was traveling through Colorado and ended up in a tiny bookstore in Crested Butte, which I have officially rebranded Crested Cute. I am one of those people who buys books based entirely on the cover, and I am also a sucker for anything single-mom adjacent because I have been one for the last 29 years. I picked up Margo’s Got Money Troubles by Rufi Thorpe. I read it in two days. Then I wrote one of the top reviews in our Addiction Fiction section.
A couple of months ago, I slid into Rufi’s DMs.
She wrote me back.
Here is the anecdote I cannot stop thinking about.
Rufi had a writing playlist she listened to obsessively while writing the book. Of the 20 songs on it, four were Rico Nasty songs. She had no idea Rico Nasty had auditioned for the show until she walked on set and saw her there. The song that played in Rufi’s head while she wrote the book ended up in the show.
I cannot make this stuff up. None of us could. That is why we needed Rufi to tell it.
This is five minutes of a sixty-minute conversation. The full replay lives in The Replay Vault inside BACKSTAGE.
Why It Mattered That She Said Yes
If Rufi Thorpe is new to you, here is the short version. Margo’s Got Money Troubles is her fourth novel. It just became an Apple TV show starring Elle Fanning, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman, and Nick Offerman. David E. Kelley wrote it. A24 produced it. The first four episodes dropped this week, and a new one drops every Tuesday at 9 PM Pacific.
That is the kind of project most authors wait an entire career for. Rufi got it on her fourth novel.
And then she showed up to talk to a bunch of sober women on a Zoom in the middle of a Tuesday night. Because that is who she is.
This was the very first BACKSTAGE Media Night. Founding Members were in the room. Some of them showed up because they had read the book. Some of them showed up because they trusted the room. By the end of the hour, everyone in there was a Rufi Thorpe fan for life.
What We Talked About
Rufi walked us through the four-year road to publishing the book. The agent who did not believe in it. The publisher who almost passed. The Zoom meeting where Elle Fanning showed up in person and had read every page. (Rufi had a giant lip zit that day. She told us about it. We loved her for telling us about it.)
She talked about why she wanted to write a character who was both a holy mother and a sex worker, and how the pandemic OnlyFans explosion finally gave her a way in. She talked about how she did the actual research, which involved making her own OnlyFans account and tipping creators $50 to please stop sending her pussy pics and start sending her insight.
Some of them did. Most of them ghosted her. One of them eventually read her entire manuscript and gave notes.
She talked about pro wrestling, and the strange parallel between two industries that are both beloved and disdained.
She talked about being raised by a single mom. About getting accidentally pregnant at 26 after dating a guy for six weeks. About discovering that daycare cost more than she made as an adjunct professor and feeling pure rage on behalf of every woman in America.
She talked about masks. About how she can only write characters because she is wearing one. About how every character is, in some way, her.
“Every character is me. You can’t really write something if you don’t have part of it inside you.”
She said something else later that made me put my pen down. But that one I am keeping for the members.
She also told us about the silicon baby they used on set when they could not have the real baby actors in a scene. It is the weight of a real baby but cold, so it feels like you are holding the corpse of a baby. Everyone hated it. And then she told us that one of the real babies on set said his first word, “dada,” to Nick Offerman, on camera, in real time.
I cannot make any of this up.
The Question That Broke The Room
About thirty minutes in, my business partner Tamar Routley asked Rufi the question I have not stopped thinking about.
She asked whether there is a cultural through-line between how we judge sex workers and how we judge people in recovery.
There was a pause.
Then Rufi answered. She talked about how heroin used to feel “far away” in pop culture, and how the opiate epidemic broke that narrative because suddenly heroin was Aunt Linda. She talked about democratization, and choice, and what it actually means to put creative power back in the hands of the women themselves. She talked about how the bigger something gets, the harder it becomes to other the people doing it.
It was the kind of answer you only get from someone who has been thinking about something for a very long time.
You will not see that answer in this five-minute clip. Members watched it in full.
Why BACKSTAGE Exists
That conversation is exactly what this space was built for.
Not the highlight reel. Not the polished talking points. The real thing, with someone who has actually done the work, in a room full of people who can hold the full weight of it.
This was the first Media Night inside BACKSTAGE. There will be three gatherings every month.
Media Night is what you saw a sliver of tonight. Authors. Musicians. TV makers. Big cultural conversations.
Studio Night is where we make things with our hands, including a healthy amount of bedazzling. (If you know me at all, you know there is nothing I will not put a rhinestone on.)
Edutainment is where we bring in an expert to teach us a real skill. Could be AI. Could be how to actually use your iPhone for content. Could be something none of us know yet. Definently will be entertaining.
If You Want In
The full replay of the Rufi Thorpe BACKSTAGE conversation lives in The Replay Vault. Founding Membership is open to the first 200, and you are early.
You get the full hour. You get every guest after this. You get every Studio Night and every Edutainment session. You get The Lounge, where members are already talking about the show, the book, and the conversation they just watched.
This is not a recovery group. It is a paid cultural membership for people who take sober culture seriously and want the full conversation, not the highlight reel.
Thank you, Rufi. Thank you, Tamar, for asking the question. Thank you to every Founding Member who showed up first.
This is what I built BACKSTAGE for. I will see you at the next one.
XOXO AB
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Who is Rufi Thorpe? Rufi Thorpe is the author of four novels including The Girls from Corona del Mar, The Knockout Queen, and Margo’s Got Money Troubles. The Knockout Queen was a finalist for the PEN/Faulkner Award. Her latest novel, Margo’s Got Money Troubles, was adapted into an Apple TV+ series starring Elle Fanning, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Nick Offerman, with David E. Kelly writing and A24 producing.
What is Margo’s Got Money Troubles about? Margo’s Got Money Troubles follows Margo, a 19-year-old single mother who turns to OnlyFans to make ends meet after getting pregnant by her community college English professor. The book explores motherhood, sex work, pro wrestling, and what it costs to choose yourself. Rufi describes it as a celebration of artificiality and a love letter to single moms.
Where can I watch the Margo’s Got Money Troubles TV show? The show is streaming on Apple TV+. The first four episodes are out now, with new episodes releasing weekly on Tuesdays at 9 PM Pacific (midnight Eastern). It stars Elle Fanning as Margo, Michelle Pfeiffer as Cheyenne, and Nick Offerman as Jinx.
Did Rufi Thorpe write the TV adaptation of her own book? No. Rufi served as an executive producer on the show but did not write it. David E. Kelly led the writing. Rufi has said she stepped back from the writers’ room because she knew she would keep trying to make it the book, and she also wanted to write her next novel. She gave commentary on scripts and visited the set throughout production.
What is BACKSTAGE with The Sober Curator? BACKSTAGE is a paid cultural membership inside The Sober Curator. It is not a recovery group. Members get access to three monthly gatherings (Media Night, Studio Night, Edutainment), The BACKSTAGE Lounge community, The Replay Vault, exclusive editorial content in SoberStack, and member perks. Founding Membership is open to the first 200 members.
How do I watch the full Rufi Thorpe BACKSTAGE conversation? The full hour-long conversation lives in The Replay Vault inside BACKSTAGE. Members get unlimited access. The five-minute clip embedded in this article is the only public preview. To watch the full replay, become a Founding Member.
What was the first BACKSTAGE Media Night about? The first Media Night featured a live conversation between Rufi Thorpe and Alysse Bryson, founder of The Sober Curator. The hour-long event covered Rufi’s writing process, the four-year journey from book to TV adaptation, her research methods (including making her own OnlyFans account), and a question from co-host Tamar Routley about the cultural through-line between how society judges sex workers and people in recovery.
Is Rufi Thorpe sober? Rufi has not publicly identified as sober or in recovery. She joined BACKSTAGE as a guest because her work resonates deeply with sober readers and her novel Margo’s Got Money Troubles sits in The Sober Curator’s Addiction Fiction vertical. BACKSTAGE guests are not required to be sober, only relevant to sober culture.
When is the next BACKSTAGE event? BACKSTAGE hosts a minimum of three gatherings per month: Media Night (cultural conversations like the Rufi Thorpe event), Studio Night (hands-on creative making, including bedazzling), and Edutainment (skill-building sessions with experts). The full event calendar is available to members in The BACKSTAGE Lounge.
How do I become a BACKSTAGE Founding Member? Founding Membership is open to the first 200 members at the lowest price this membership will ever be. After the 200 spots are filled, only General Membership is available. Click “Take a Seat BACKSTAGE” to join.
