Today we are shining a Sober Spotlight on Emily Kappesser, Head of Sales & Partnerships for Reconstruction Coffee Roasters, Real Estate Advisor at Grant Hickman Real Estate Advisors, Owner and Photographer, Videographer of Emily Rose Studios. It’s a good thing this sober gal looks good in hats because she wears a lot of them! Oh, did I mention she’s also a daughter, sister, wife, and the mother of two adorable toddlers?
You could say that Emily and I go way (way) back. Emily and I worked together at The Chronicle, in Centralia, WA in the late 90s and early 00s. Not only did we work together, but we were drinking buddies. If someone had told us back then that in 20+ years, we’d both be sober, successful businesswomen, there is not a chance I would have believed them. Funny how life has a way of working out when you put down the shovel, stop digging, and get out of your own way.
My heart swells with pride at writing this post about my beautiful friend Emily. You see, my sobriety date is May 1st, 2006. And Emily’s sobriety date is February 18th, 2018. Side note…Sister, I can NOT believe you are coming up on 3 years, one day at a time. How long was I out?
Someone told me the other day in an online 12-step meeting that I was an “old-timer”. I almost reached through my laptop screen to strangle them. All that being said, I’ve been doing this sober deal, one day at a time, for a while now. In my early years of sobriety, I took many calls from Emily as she asked lots and lots of questions. I distinctly remember the first time she reached out to me, I was overzealous, jumping up on my sober high-horse reading random things to her out of the Big Bluebook. As time marched on, I learned better and Emily kept asking the same questions.
Time marched on
Emily helped keep me sober with those phone calls as I learned to be of service, consistently, regardless of what the outcome was. Eventually, Emily moved across the country and met the love of her life, Todd. The calls kept coming. An important part of practicing a 12 step lifestyle is practicing attraction, not promotion. All I had to share with Emily was my own, personal experience when she asked about it. It would be up to her what she decided to do with it.
In February 2018, Emily took her last drinks, and then she took to Facebook Live to share her experiences with early sobriety. Thinking back, I remember being perplexed and uncertain about her being so vocal about her recovery on social media. All of a sudden being sober meant I was a rule follower. But who’s rules was I following?
You see, I guess I am an old-timer. When I got sober, social media barely existed. Myspace and Facebook were in their infancy stages; podcasts weren’t a thing, bloggers were just getting started, and cell phones still flipped. It was ingrained in me to remain anonymous at the level of press, radio, and film about my sobriety. And I was told social media was the press. It’s a good thing Emily’s sobriety was not dependent on my judgment of her public shares. Admittingly, I feel somewhat ashamed to even now as I write this. But what I am not ashamed of is admitting that I was wrong.
Emily never acted like a spokesperson for any church basement meeting, she simply shared her own personal and sometimes very raw experiences. This girl let it all hang out on Facebook. The good days and the bad days. Emily allowed herself to be vulnerable in a public way. Sometimes I still struggle with being vulnerable, even alone with myself. I started to realize Emily had something I wanted. Freedom to be vulnerable and to stop giving a damn what other people think.
Emily’s shared experiences help people
Here is what I do know. Emily’s stories helped people. People I may never know or meet. Hell, Emily’s stories probably helped people she will never know or meet. There is a powerful connection that happens when the identification process of addiction takes place between alcoholics. When you stop feeling alone and isolated and realize that many (many) people struggle with the same vices, fears, resentments, and sins. My goodness, there is so much freedom in that.
Over time, I watched Emily get freer and freer. It was like watching a metamorphosis right before my Facebook eyes. Instead of digging in my heels at old-timer rhetoric about what anonymity means (or doesn’t mean), I realized the power of recovering out loud and the ripple effects it can have. When I finally came up from air from my Big book and I looked around, across Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and even TikTok, I realized there were lots and lots (and lots) of Emily’s.
As my recovery continues to morph and grow, I get a front-row seat at watching people I love, like Emily, find their inner power and strength. Watching a woman disrobe from her addiction and step into her light is an incredibly powerful experience that I have been fortunate to have witnessed a handful of times now. But here’s the thing, Emily’s recovery might just have had an even bigger impact on me than mine did on her. And that my friends are how it works. People helping people expecting nothing in return.
Sober Spotlight Q&A with Emily Kappesser
AB: What’s your favorite alcohol-free drink?
Emily: Specialty Coffee from our very own Reconstruction Coffee Roastery. I know you may think I’m biased but it’s the best cup(s) of coffee I’ve ever had and since I don’t drink anymore, it gives me something to look forward to every morning!
AB: What’s your favorite #QUITLIT book?
Emily: I don’t really read much but I’m a quote girl. I love to find great quotes that I can relate to. Quick and straight to the point.
AB: Advice you’d give someone new to recovery who is also a business owner?
Emily: The focus and drive you have will only intensify. By staying sober, we can get out of our own way and really get things accomplished. The possibilities are endless!
AB: How does your recovery benefit your business?
Emily: Oh wow…how doesn’t it? If I wasn’t in recovery, there is a very high chance that I would not be co-owner of Reconstruction Coffee Roasters. My photography business would not be where it is today. It’s just a life-changing experience!
AB: What do you do to take time for yourself?
Emily: Ha! I work. No, seriously…Covid has definitely slowed things down for me, personally and in that time I have been able to start gardening (which is something I have always wanted to try) with my 3-year-old son, August. It has become something so special that we can do together and I absolutely love it.
AB: Going public with your recovery can be intimidating. What tips or benefits do you have to share?
Emily: Going public with your recovery can be scary. Lots of “what if’s” there, I know. “What if I go back to drinking and I look like an idiot?” “What if I am judged” What if I lose lifelong friends?” For me, sharing my journey publicly is a way to hold myself accountable. And through that sharing, I’ve had many individuals over the past two years reach out to me who are questioning their own drinking habits and are sober curious. It has been more than fulfilling for me to talk with them one-on-one and share what works for me and keeps me so focused on my journey.
AB: If you could go backward and tell your newly sober self one piece of advice, what would it be?
Emily: It’s worth it. PLEASE please keep thinking of the positives. You will never regret stopping.
AB: She’s not lying. I’ve never once woken up and wished, Man, I really wish I could have blacked out last night and lost my purse and cell phone. Or what a bummer, I woke up without a hangover, again. Yep, that never ever happens.
AB: What are you most proud of in business or in recovery?
Emily: I’m now proud of many things but the biggest reward (besides our new business and being an entrepreneur) is our newest addition to our family, Lily. She is a gift. If I hadn’t stopped drinking, I would probably be divorced and would never have had another child with my wonderful hubby.
AB: What are the main differentiators for your business?
Emily: At Reconstruction Coffee Roasters, we roast only specialty coffee beans which have a higher rating than a lot of coffee out there. I compare it to the wine industry. High ratings = great product. We are a small-batch coffee roaster and family-owned. I own the business with my brother, Clayton Smith, and his wife, Erin.
Emily: Then of course there is my first baby, Emily Rose Studios. My illustrative style of photography blends together photo-journalistic, candid style and the dramatic design of traditional portraiture to create unique and artistic images that my clients love and use for a lifetime.
AB: What initiative or product would you like us to mention/promote?
Emily: We offer coffee subscriptions to be shipped to your office or home! Roaster’s Choice Subscriptions are offered to those who can’t do without 1xweek, or even as few as 1xmonth. We have something for everyone!
Sober Curator Pro Tip: I have taste-tested Reconstruction Coffee and you are going to want to #ADDTOCART Go ahead. Go check it out and place an order. I can wait right here until you get back. #soberpeoplesupportingsoberpeople
Emily: My new Branding Division with Emily Rose Studios! I now offer membership for businesses. Together, we create Branding Content for Social Media and Websites. It’s essentially keeping me on retainer for the year so you can keep great content in your back pocket! Check out the details here. You can also follow along with her on Instagram here.
AB: What is your favorite nonprofit?
Emily: My favorite non-profit organization is called the Weavings Retreat. Weavings is a weekend retreat put on by BJC Healthcare. It is a retreat for women who have lost their children. And through some amazing people and happenstances, I was asked to donate my time as a photographer to capture some special and sacred moments of healing. This retreat and non-profit are very close to my heart.
AB: Does your business participate in cause marketing?
Emily: We love to support small coffee farms around the world, which is an amazing feeling to be able to handpick where our coffee comes from.
AB: What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Emily: My favorite guilty pleasure is picking up some of my favorite local honey from Little Indian Apiaries in Lonedell, MO.
AB: What’s on your playlist right now? Favorite bands or podcasts?
Emily: Music – my Pandora station is still set to Seattle, where I lived for 9 years. Some of my favorites artists include Parov Stelar and Lord Huron
AB: What is your go-to meditation?
Emily: In the summer, I love to go out on my deck in the mornings with the sun rising over the woods in the back…enjoy my cup of coffee, breathe in the fresh air, and thank God for each of my blessings in this life. I have many.
AB: Anything else?
Emily: Through my art, crazy great coffee, and the love of my family and friends, I am able to keep my sober living strong and I am so grateful for the strength God has given me so that I can thoroughly enjoy my new life without alcohol. I wouldn’t dream of turning back now.
Sober Spotlight – are you next?
We love to shine a light on all of the good things that come from choosing a sober lifestyle. Check out these other Sober Spotlights here. Email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social media if you or someone you know would like to be considered.
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