What if all the horrible things we do to ourselves
In our minds and in our hearts
Are to keep us from realizing
How much we love our lives
And how afraid we are to lose them
What if all the anger we have towards people
Who bastardize the things that we stand for
Is really just confusion about
How the things we stand for could hurt people
What if all the fear we have
About everything being OK
Is really a fear that
Everything is OK right now
but we still don’t feel OK
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everyone is going to be OK
A line from social media that stuck in my mind, that plays over and over again in my heart
What if the world was filled with people who loved you but didn’t know how to say it
Because we are so sick, because it is so hard to get better
But they love you
A line from social media made things better
My second favorite conspiracy theory is that social media is making us better
“I don’t know about you, but I think that:” He said in that “guy in the truck video” voice
I think that whenever I see my people post about struggling,
I wish they knew that I was grateful not to feel so alone.
I wish they knew that when they are brave enough to share
about their pain, addiction, or mental health issues
it gives me the strength to communicate my own.
I wish they knew how hard it was to push through some days
without the anxiety overwhelming my ability to function,
but that I miss them and wish I had the mental and emotional bandwidth to reach out.
I wish they knew that sometimes I fantasize about winning the lottery
so I could take care of everyone I love before retiring to my tiny home farm animal rescue sanctuary
with my beautiful wife and no more than two children.
I wish they knew I would fix every one of their problems if I could,
and I wish I could support them all better and still manage to support myself,
but that I can’t and sometimes that breaks my heart.
I wish I knew how to tell them all how much I love them without making it weird.
I wish they knew that when I pray, I thank God for them.
I’m not sure if I would think all those things without social media
I think it is making me better
I think everything is going to be OK
Call 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It provides free and confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week for people in suicidal crisis or distress. You can learn more about its services here, including its guide on what to do if you see suicidal language on social media. You can also call that number to talk to someone about how you can help a person in crisis. For crisis support in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454.
For support outside of the US, a worldwide directory of resources and international hotlines is provided by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. You can also turn to Befrienders Worldwide.
Help is Available
If you or someone you love is living with substance use, alcohol misuse, a co-occurring, or a behavioral health disorder, there is hope. The Break Free Foundation aids individuals seeking recovery through the Break Free Scholarship Fund. It sends anyone who lacks the financial resources to attend a recovery center to do so at low to no cost.
Review our Treatment Locator Tool to find the right program near you, as well as our list of Hotlines and Helplines. Click here for a list of regional and national resources. On this road to recovery, no one is alone. We are all in this together.
