As the holiday season rolls around, it’s easy to let the hustle and bustle sweep you off your feet. The glittering lights, the heaps of presents, and the constant flurry of social events can quickly become overwhelming. Amidst all this festive chaos, it’s crucial to remember one thing – your peace of mind. Here are three effective strategies to help you maintain your sanity during the holiday season.
#1 Manage Expectations
Holidays often come with a host of expectations – about how things should be, how others should act, and most importantly, how you should feel. This perfect holiday image can put an unnecessary strain on your mental health. As a psychologist, I’ve seen the aftermath of these unrealistic expectations in the form of disappointment, anger, and despair in my clients. The key is to stop comparing your experience with others and focus on creating your own unique holiday experience.
People expect their spouses to behave a certain way, their kids to behave a certain way, folks to buy them certain things, people to help them with their commitments and stress, and just the major single expectation to have an utterly joyous experience overall. The comparisons on Facebook alone can put someone over the edge!
Do not compare yourself to anyone else’s experience! This is your family (or not), your day, your needs, your joy, your wants, your friends, your parties (or not). Make choices that work for YOU. Keep the focus internal, not external. Take time to think about what really will work for you. Period. How can you create an experience of peace and joy and let go of the expectations of others? This is the healing from co-crazy. Remember, this is your holiday – make choices that bring you joy and peace. Let go of external expectations and focus on what truly matters to you.
#2 Take Care of Your Bottom Lines
During the holiday season, it’s easy to neglect your basic needs. But remember the term HALT- don’t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Prioritize self-care by getting enough sleep, eating healthily, staying connected with your loved ones, and taking time for yourself. Avoid overindulgence and stick to your regular routine as much as possible. Neglecting these fundamental needs can lead to stress, overwhelm, and potential relapse into unhealthy habits.
Get enough sleep, don’t suddenly decide eating 50 pieces of Aunt janes chocolate caramel Santas is a good idea. Stay connected to your peeps, keep your regular schedule of support groups, and take time just for you (Even if it’s just 10 minutes to meditate.) Do not overdo the shopping and get into debt, and make sure to move your body (THIS IS HUGE.) Don’t stop all the things that typically work for you because you are “too busy.” This is a recipe for relapse, overwhelm, and plenty of co-crazy.
#3 Stay Aware of What is Happening Emotionally
The holiday season can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. To navigate this emotional roller-coaster, stay connected with your feelings. If you find yourself getting agitated, take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and find a way to calm down – be it through journaling, talking to a friend, or practicing mindfulness. Remember, you are responsible for your feelings, and it’s up to you to manage them effectively. People around you might not always act their best during the holidays, but it’s important not to take things personally. Their words and actions are a reflection of their own state of mind, not a judgment of you.
Stay connected to YOURSELF. This is the most important thing in sobriety and in recovery from codependent crazies. Check-in with yourself several times each day. Be aware if you get activated by someone and take care of that activation by calling a friend, writing it out, distracting, moving, taking a 10th step, journaling, listen to a motivational podcast/video, or attending a meeting. (Online or in-person)
I personally have had lots of experience with this. My husband and I split up when my son was 6 months old. We alternated years of having him on Christmas Eve and Christmas. One Christmas Eve day, when my son was five years old, I planned a huge day for us, wanting to make it the most magical day of his life. We were going to watch a Christmas show, bake some cookies, see some friends, visit Santa, have a great meal, and end the day with me reading him The Night Before Christmas. All I will say is by the time bed rolled around, we were BOTH crying. My expectations of what was possible for a five-year-old and a tired single mom were way over the top. Keep it simple, and the holidays will bring you much more joy.
Welcome to Leaving CrazyTown, a YouTube channel created by Dr. Sarah Michaud and Finn Allen dedicated to helping individuals navigate the ups and downs of life, including the struggle with codependency. Through their personal experiences and expertise in mental health, they offer unfiltered insights and strategies to help viewers overcome challenges and lead more fulfilling lives. Their videos cover topics such as anxiety, depression, relationships, self-improvement, and much more. This channel is for anyone looking for guidance and motivation to improve their mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Join the Leaving CrazyTown community today and take the first step towards a happier and healthier life.
SOBERSCRIBE NOW!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
