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Home - 24 Potential Pitfalls to Avoid with a Newly Sober Person
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24 Potential Pitfalls to Avoid with a Newly Sober Person

Amy Liz HarrisonBy Amy Liz HarrisonAugust 2, 20244 Mins Read
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When one is newly sober, they will find themselves navigating entirely new territory in every possible way: physically, mentally, socially, spiritually and emotionally. Of course, everyone will differ in their preferences, which is why it is important to have an open and honest conversation with your newly sober friend. This will help to make sure these ideas are indeed aligned with their goals, and you can feel free to adjust these as necessary! If you’re not comfortable asking, here are 24 things to generally avoid when someone is a newly sober.

  1. Don’t Drink Around Them: Especially in these early stages, it’s respectful to avoid consuming alcohol in their presence.
  2. Avoid Judging Their Past: Their focus is on recovery, not reliving past mistakes.
  3. Don’t Downplay Their Addiction: Acknowledge the seriousness of their struggle.
  4. Avoid Tempting Situations: Don’t invite them to events where drinking is a focus.
  5. Don’t Question Their Decision: Sobriety is a personal choice that should be respected.
  6. Avoid Making Assumptions: Everyone’s path to recovery is different.
  7. Don’t Offer Alcohol: This includes not suggesting “just one drink won’t hurt.”
  8. Avoid Gossip: Their journey is private and should be treated with confidentiality.
  9. Don’t Express Doubt: Be a source of encouragement, not skepticism.
  10. Avoid Trivializing Their Experience: Addiction and recovery are significant life challenges.
  11. Don’t Assume They’re “Cured”: Sobriety is an ongoing process, not a one-time event.
  12. Avoid Unnecessary Stress: Try not to involve them in stressful situations.
  13. Don’t Use Stigmatizing Language: Be mindful of how you talk about addiction and recovery.
  14. Avoid Bringing Up Triggering Topics: Be cautious about discussing topics that might trigger the desire to drink.
  15. Don’t Be Overbearing: Offer support, but also give them space to breathe and grow.
  16. Avoid Being a Bad Influence: Reflect on how your own behavior might impact them.
  17. Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings: Take their emotions and experiences seriously.
  18. Avoid Non-Constructive Criticism: Criticism without empathy can be harmful.
  19. Don’t Forget to Listen: Sometimes they might just need someone to listen.
  20. Avoid Pushing Them Too Hard: Recovery takes time, and pushing too hard can be counterproductive.
  21. Don’t Ignore Signs of Relapse: Be aware and supportive if you notice warning signs.
  22. Avoid Making Them Feel Isolated: Encourage them in social settings that are safe and sober-friendly.
  23. Don’t Prioritize Alcohol in Social Settings: Adjust plans to ensure they don’t center around drinking.
  24. Avoid Unrealistic Expectations: Understand that recovery is a journey with its ups and downs.

Being supportive of someone in sobriety involves understanding, patience, and a willingness to adjust your own behaviors to aid in their recovery.


RESOURCE GUIDE: At The Sober Curator, we provide high-quality content centered around the vibrant and fulfilling lifestyle of sobriety. While our focus is on the positive aspects of sober living, we also acknowledge that life can present challenges without the aid of alcohol or substances. Coping with these challenges alone can be daunting, which is why we strongly believe in finding recovery within a supportive community.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol use disorder, substance use disorder, or mental illness, we urge you to seek help. While the task may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that support is readily available and that there are people out there who genuinely want to help.

It’s crucial to remain persistent in your search for assistance until you find the right solution for your unique situation. In some cases, it could be a matter of life or death, so it’s essential to never give up on finding the necessary help.

In this section, we have compiled a list of national and regional services that are available, with many offering assistance 24/7. We encourage you to utilize these resources and continue seeking additional support and guidance until you find what works best for you. https://thesobercurator.com/about/resources/


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If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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Amy Liz Harrison
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Amy Liz Harrison is the bestselling author of two memoirs and the founder and CEO of publishing imprint, A-Team Press, LLC. Harrison is also a podcaster, recovery/mental health advocate, a 12-step coach, a mom to eight biological kids, and a wife to one Australian airline executive. Harrison’s material is semi geared towards Gen Xers, but like “We Are the World,” it’s really for everyone, because she’s a lover, not a fighter. Sober since 2011, she used to like pina coladas. But as a native Californian, she has never liked getting caught in the rain.

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