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Home - This Week On Enough Is A Feast: The All Or Nothing Mentality (And Why We Really Need To Get Out Of It)
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This Week On Enough Is A Feast: The All Or Nothing Mentality (And Why We Really Need To Get Out Of It)

Contributor to The Sober CuratorBy Contributor to The Sober CuratorMarch 3, 20216 Mins Read
Progress over perfection
Progress over perfection
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What’s with the “all or nothing mentality” and why is it so important for us to get out of it? Like seriously, we need to Taylor Shift this right now. (Aka Shake it Off!)

We are all familiar with the term “Go hard or go home.” But, why does it have to be one or the other? When it comes to sobriety, it’s a no-brainer…you worked hard to get to where you are, and completely abstaining from alcohol is now your way of life. Hopefully, it’s one you choose every day, one day at a time. You rock, keep up the amazing work!

But what about in all of the other aspects of your life? Can we achieve success while having balance and flexibility? If you read the title of this article, you already know that the answer is yes! However, achieving that balance and flexibility without berating yourself might be tougher for some than expected. After all, we are our worst critics, am I right? This article will cover some helpful tips on mindfulness and practices to help you be more forgiving with yourself while having the discipline and motivation to improve your quality of life. #ODAAT

Something is better than nothing

Doing something for 20 minutes is better than spending hours thinking about doing something. For example, you’ve been wanting to start an exercise routine. You’ve spent hours watching videos, scrolling through social media thinking “I wish I could do that”. YOU CAN! Everyone was a beginner at some point. Start small,  but start.

Do you want to start eating healthier?

You don’t have to completely change your eating habits overnight. Start by cutting back on processed sugar by half. If that seems too much, cut it back by a third, and keep cutting back every week or every other week. Add a new vegetable to your meals twice a week. Find ways to trick yourself into drinking more water every day. Slowly build those new healthy habits, they add up!

Do you need to tackle organizing your home?

Do it one room at a time. If that seems too overwhelming, pick a small project and go from there. Organize one closet in your home. Shred old documents that have been taking up space in your home office. Wash the dishes now, take out the trash later. You get the point.

Make a list

Very few things in life bring as much satisfaction as crossing completed tasks off a list. When you feel like you have a million things to do in a day, it’s easy to just want to curl up in a corner feeling overwhelmed. I teach my clients to compartmentalize.

Make a list with 2 or 3 columns and write down 3 tasks in each column:

  • The first column is going to have the most important/urgent items. These tasks have to get done within the day (laundry, grocery shopping, etc…be sure to include self-care in this column)
  • The second column is for things that should get done but can wait. They would eventually make their way into the first column, but for right now they aren’t urgent (maybe taking down Christmas decorations…if you’re reading this in April, this task should be moved to the first column.)
  • Finally, a third (and optional) column can be made for things you kind of want to get done eventually but it’s not gnawing at you (finally vacuum under your couch cushions…oh there’s my other earring!)

Progress over perfection

Life isn’t perfect, and that’s okay. Challenges, setbacks, and bumps in the road happen to all of us. Growth isn’t linear and it can be uncomfortable. Understanding that can help us stay focused, even when life throws us a curveball or two. When this happens, remind yourself how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Sh*t happens. Get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. One foot in front of the other. Learn to pause, not quit.

If you quit now you’ll be back to square one. Pause, rest, reflect and resume (PRRR-this is not an actual acronym but it sounds like a cat purring so I’m using it). If your current approach has you hating every second of your journey, pick a different approach. Find something that works for you (I can help with this, btw!). Life is too short to be unhappy. Besides, didn’t you get sober to live a better life? Today is the perfect day to start making small changes.

You are unique, and so is the approach that will get you results. What works for Jane might not work for John. No matter the approach, at the end of the day the thing that’s going to yield results is consistency. Stay consistent with your commitments. Consistency will build habits, and habits will deliver results. Celebrate the little victories, continue to work on the challenges, and never compare yourself to so someone else…we are all on our own unique journey. Your only competition is you!

Questions? Looking for a Wellness Coach? Get in touch with Niki the Wellness Warrior!

Having the right support and guidance is just as important as moving more and eating better. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed. Ask friends, family members, or speak to professionals. Just like with your recovery from alcohol and/or drugs accountability is everything.

For questions about this article or for Wellness Coaching/Behavior Change services (including virtually), please contact Niki at Niki.Szenasi@iCloud.com or follow her on Instagram @NikiTheWellnessWarrior and check out her website here.

Sober Curator Pro Tip: Check out Niki’s previous healthy lifestyle tips! You got sober because you care about yourself and your body. Taking time for yourself is more important than ever!

  • Nutrition 101 – The process of providing or obtaining the food necessary for health and growth
  • Move More, Eat Better – How to start your weight loss journey and maintain sobriety in the New Year
  • Happiness in a Workout – If you’re happy and you know it claps your hands, stay sober, and move your feet

Sober Curator Pro Tip: Looking for a free online workout? We’ve got you covered. Check out this post we did on The Phoenix, a unique approach to recovery that fosters healing through, activities, fitness, and connection.

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Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

Resources are available

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.

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