If you’ve ever drafted a list of moderation rules — no drinks on Tuesdays, only wine, never tequila — you know the quiet contortion act that props up a relationship with alcohol. In our conversation with creator and author Suzanne Warye, those rules get exposed for what they are: a workaround keeping the real question at bay. Not “How can I drink right?” but “What if alcohol isn’t a privilege at all?”
Suzanne’s story resists the old script. She didn’t wake up inside a classic bottom. She woke up inside a life she valued — new baby, career, marriage — and realized she could protect it now. That choice reframes sobriety as agency, not exile. It also unlocks the slow repair of self-trust. As she puts it, the outside can look fine for years, but the inside ledger tells the truth.
There’s a cultural script to unlearn, too. We swim in alcohol. Baby showers with champagne toasts. First birthdays with hard seltzers in coolers. Rosé at water parks. When “take-it-or-leave-it” drinking is held up as normal, everyone else ends up chasing a unicorn. Suzanne calls this out plainly — and with humor.
Gen X women will recognize another motif in this episode: the boundary revolution of midlife. As hormones shift and patience thins, many of us start saying the quiet part out loud. We leave early. We Irish-goodbye. We give fewer explanations and fewer F’s. It’s not meanness, it’s clarity; a nervous system calibrated by experience and, for some, by sobriety.
Suzanne’s clarity didn’t arrive in a vacuum. It grew in community. She describes sober spaces where moms can name the daily frictions — partners who still drink, the spike of perimenopausal heat, the inevitable shame spirals — and be met with nods instead of raised eyebrows. “We’re only as sick as our secrets,” Tamar reminds us. Connection is medicine.
This is the deeper promise of an alcohol-free life. Not perfect feelings (perimenopause laughs in perfect), but the capacity to feel without numbing — and then to metabolize those feelings in conversation with people who get it. Community doesn’t just help you not drink; it helps you stay awake to your actual life.
Along the way, we dismantle the moderation myth. Rules and swaps may work for a weekend, but they keep alcohol on the pedestal and you in the blame seat. Suzanne’s reframing flips the casting: remove the halo from the substance and put the agency back in your hands. That’s not punishment — it’s freedom with receipts.
And because this is The Sober Curator, there’s pop culture joy, too: a “Goonies” Little People set makes a star turn in Tchotchke of the Week, because sobriety is not a vibe killer; it’s a vibe curator.
If you’re a sober-curious mom, here are three invitations from the episode:
- Choose before you have to. You don’t need a dramatic loss to justify a better life.
- Find your room. Whether it’s a Zoom circle or a local meetup, pick a community where your honesty lands softly.
- Retire the rules. The more energy spent controlling alcohol, the less energy available for what you actually love.
Sober doesn’t mean smaller. It means more time, more trust, more you. If that sounds like relief, start with this episode — and stay for the people who will remind you you’re not alone.
Getting sober is one thing—but staying sober? That’s where the real adventure begins.
This show is for you if you’ve ever wondered:
– Where can I find inspiring sober podcasts, apps, and creators?
– How do I give back or stay plugged into the sober community
– What are the best sober-friendly drinks and travel tips?
– Where do I find the good NA drinks that don’t taste like regret?
The Sober Curator is your go-to for sober pop culture, booze-free travel, apps, creators, and community.
We’re not here to help you get sober.
We’re here to help you live sober—and love it.
Therapist, author and media pro Kelley Kitley joins Alysse to unpack “gray area” drinking, stigma around labels and what long-term recovery really feels like — including a visceral craving moment and the simple, honest tools that kept her sober. They also dig into cross-addictions, perimenopause curveballs, parenting teens and how sharing your story (even when it’s messy) can change lives.
Takeaways:
“Gray area” drinking thrives on qualifiers; clarity reduces stigma and increases connection.
Cravings can resurface years in — play the tape forward and “tell on yourself” to your sober network.
Sharing your story can be a professional risk — and a lifeline for others (and you).
Language and identity (“alcohol-free,” “sober,” “alcoholic”) often depend on social circles; choose what supports your recovery.
Perimenopause symptoms can echo old patterns; stack healthy coping tools early.
Key Timestamps:
[02:01] — Alysse’s Chicago intro + Kelley’s “grew up above a bar” backstory.
[06:00] — Media hustle: pitching herself, ”Today Show” bump and making impact.
[09:08] — Making her mess her message: therapist transparency & the book.
[18:32] — A real-time craving in a hotel — and the group text that saved the day.
[34:23] — Labels, stigma and the “gray area” short film.
[27:26] — Perimenopause, rage, sleep and staying out of old habits.
Resources & Links:
-Kelley Kitley: Website, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook
-Book: ”MY self: An autobiography of survival”
-TEDx: ”I show my scars so others know they can heal”
–The Kelley Kitley Podcast: America's Social Worker Unfiltered
-YouTube: ”Gray Area”
–Alcohol + Substance Use Disorder Guide
–Recovery Nonprofit Resource Guide
–LBGTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide
Connect with Us:
-Website: www.thesobercurator.com
-Facebook: @The Sober Curator
-Instagram: @thesobercurator
-YouTube: @thesobercurator
-Pinterest: @thesobercurator
Follow & Subscribe:
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Send Feedback:
If you have a story, feedback, or just want to connect, email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com. We’d love to hear from you!
About:
Sobriety isn’t the end of the party—it’s just the start of a better one. Hosted by Alysse Bryson, media powerhouse and sobriety’s ultimate hype woman, and joined by Sober Curator contributors, The Sober Curator Podcast* delivers bold convos, pop culture deep dives, and zero-proof living that doesn’t suck. Whether you're sober, sober-curious, or just looking for good vibes without the hangover, we’ve got you covered. Subscribe now—because getting sober matters, staying sober matters more.
*The Sober Curator Podcast is a space for open and honest conversations about sobriety, recovery, and alcohol-free living. While we celebrate all paths to a sober lifestyle, some topics discussed may be sensitive or triggering for certain listeners. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you’re in recovery or exploring sobriety, please take care while listening and seek support from trusted professionals as needed.
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Follow Suzanne Wayre in all of the digital places and social spaces:
- thesobermomlife.com
- The Sober Mom Life Cafe
- @thesobermomlife on IG and @suzannawayre on IG
- The Sober Mom Life on Facebook
RECOVERY PODCASTLAND & NETWORK at The Sober Curator is your audio haven for all things sobriety and recovery. We’re your bee-zy sober podcast enthusiasts, curating the best shows that educate, inspire, and entertain in the alcohol-free space.
Our archives are neatly organized so you can easily explore Recovery Podcastland—featuring our favorite recovery-based podcasts from across the globe—and the TSC Podcast Network, where we share our own original shows on sober lifestyle, pop culture, travel, entertainment, and more.
Whether you’re seeking practical recovery tips, personal stories, or uplifting inspiration, this is your go-to listening guide.
SOBER POP CULTURE at The Sober Curator is where mainstream trends meet the vibrant world of sobriety. We serve up a mix of movie, podcast, fashion, and book recommendations alongside alcohol-free cocktails, celebrity features, and pop culture buzz—all with a sober twist.
We’re here to shatter the “sobriety is boring” myth with a mash-up of 80s neon, 90s hip-hop edge, early 2000s bling, and today’s hottest trends. From celebrity shoutouts to red-carpet style inspo, this is where sober is as chic as it is fun. To the celebs using their platform for good—our Sober Pop Trucker hats are off to you!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
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