Before I got sober, everything I did revolved around alcohol.
I drank during the week. There was always a client dinner, a happy hour, or a special event. I also might have installed a beer tap at the office as a “perk” for staff and clients. My friends and I had season tickets for the Rangers, and what was a hockey game without a few $12 beers, a hotdog, and a knish? On the weekends, my wife and I always hosted get-togethers for our friends. Preparing the cooler was a ritual I took pride in. If we went out to dinner, having drinks was the norm. Vacations were extra special because indulging on the beach during the day and then again in the evening at dinner was acceptable or, at the very least, defensible.
My wife was never much of a drinker, so I certainly did not make it easy for her. Babysitting a grown-ass man when you already have two kids is not something anyone would have willingly signed up for.
All of that considered, you can imagine the culture shock when I realized that I needed to remove alcohol from every aspect of my life.
How could I have a normal lifestyle without any alcohol?
The concept sounded both terrifying and boring. It wasn’t easy. I had anxiety, panic attacks, and some harrowing nights out with nothing but a Diet Coke to protect me. I spent an entire night huddled in a stairwell at a Dave Matthews concert, talking to my sponsor. There were landmines everywhere.
Adjusting to life in recovery was uncomfortable.
I felt awkward in social situations, and there were not many places to go, or things to do that did not involve drinking. It seemed as if there was nothing to do that was alcohol-free and fun. I needed a place that had people with whom I could identify. The 12-step meetings I attended were a huge help, but they only occupied an hour of my time. I needed a YMCA that catered to alcoholics. I needed a bouncy house but without the kids and the bounce. There wasn’t anything like that. At least, not that I knew of.
Instead, I tried to assimilate back into my old life but with new boundaries in place. It took time, but I slowly became comfortable in my own skin. I had the unwavering support of my wife, which made it more accessible. I remember her tasting every drink that was handed to me before I took a sip to make sure there was no alcohol. If I did not feel comfortable with the plans we made, she would understand. I was fortunate to have her by my side.
Fast forward 14 years, and I finally found something.
It is not the YMCA or a bouncy house, but it is close. It’s a place called THRIVE. It was not around back then, but it is precisely the place I was hoping to find.
THRIVE is a recovery community center on Long Island. It is a safe, sober place for people in recovery to hang out. They have classes and workshops like journaling, meditation, yoga, art therapy, and open mic nights. You can even come by and watch TV or play some ping pong. There are computers if that is your thing. They even have an Xbox and a VR headset. It is not an outpatient, rehab, or housing facility. It is peer-run and peer-led, which means everyone who works there is in recovery. Recovery coaches are also available for anyone who wants to talk with someone one-on-one. The best part is that it is all FREE.
But wait! That’s not all! (Sorry, I had to say it.)
There is also a program called THRIVE Everywhere. It takes all that THRIVE has to offer, but they bring it out and about in communities all over Long Island. They have organized fishing trips, retreats, laser tag, movie nights, bowling, roller-skating, ice-skating, arcades, karaoke, drum circles, painting, BBQs in the park, yoga on the beach, boat parties, gardening, and even a silent disco.
One of the biggest fears I had when I stopped drinking was that life would not be fun without alcohol. I have learned that could not be further from the truth.
I wish THRIVE had been around when I was trying to get sober. Things might have been easier for me. Community and human connection are so important in recovery. They might just be more important than anything.
Things happen for a reason. My experiences have made me who I am. I get to share those experiences with others who might benefit from them. That is why I am sharing them now. You are never alone in recovery. Sobriety is not an island, and it doesn’t have to be a social death sentence.
I try new things in recovery these days, and my life is neither terrifying nor boring. You might even say I am sober and thriving!
About Thrive Recovery Community and Outreach Center
To further support the mission of the Family and Children’s Association, THRIVE’s goal is to help individuals and families find, maintain, and strengthen their recovery through peer-based support, navigation assistance, and referral services; provide interactive educational programs that promote wellness, economic prosperity, and civic engagement; and maintain a safe, welcoming haven for substance-free recreational and social activities. Our vision: an engaged community that is healthier, safer and supportive of people in various stages of recovery.
A Community Center for Transformation, Healing, Recovery, Inspiration, Validation and Empowerment
Recovery Non-Profit Resource Guide
At The Sober Curator, we believe in the power of giving. Whether you volunteer your time, use your unique talents, or donate money, giving back to the community has numerous benefits. Not only does it make us better humans, but studies have shown that those who give are happier, have longer lifespans, and feel more connected to the world around them.
As Pablo Picasso famously said, the meaning of life is to find your gift, but the purpose of life is to give it away. That’s where Pay it Forward comes in. Our comprehensive resource directory is a curated list of reputable, recovery-related organizations that are seeking donations and volunteers to help enhance our communities.
At The Sober Curator, we are always on the lookout for new opportunities to give back. If you have a favorite nonprofit organization related to recovery and mental health that you think we should feature, please don’t hesitate to contact us at thesobercurator@gmail.com.
Let’s work together to make a difference and spread kindness and generosity wherever we can.
Speak Out Speak Loud is a space echoing Madonna’s call to “Express yourself!” This is where our readers and contributors take center stage, sharing their transformative sobriety journeys. Often, sobriety uncovers hidden talents, abilities, and new avenues of self-expression. By sharing these stories, we not only facilitate personal healing but also offer hope to those still navigating the path of recovery. So, let’s raise our voices, Speak Out, and Speak Loud! In doing so, we combat the silence that often shrouds addiction, offering solace and inspiration.
We invite you to share your unique expressions of recovery here—be it through videos, poems, art, essays, opinion pieces, or music. We can’t wait to hear from you! Please email us at thesobercurator@gmail.com or DM us on social!
Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in the Speak Out! Speak Loud! Section are solely the opinions of the contributing author of each individual published article and do not reflect the views of The Sober Curator, their respective affiliates, or the companies with which The Sober Curator is affiliated.
The Speak Out! Speak Loud! posts are based upon information the contributing author considers reliable. Still, neither The Sober Curator nor its affiliates, nor the companies with which such participants are affiliated, warrant its completeness or accuracy, and it should not be relied upon as such.
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
