‘The opposite of addiction is connection.’
Having recently been interviewed by Alysse and Tamar for The Sober Curator podcast – episode officially ‘dropping’ in April everywhere you listen to podcasts. A sneak peek of the interview can be found on TSC YouTube Channel. I signed up for the e-newsletter The Sober Sip, and this was the opening line of the welcome email I received.
I love the mantra because it encapsulates much of what I speak about in my motivational talks and what I write about in my book, READY, SET, LIFE, and that’s connection—more specifically, connection with ourselves.
In a world where our phones possess a processing power 100,000 – yes, that’s the correct number of 0s – times faster than the computers that first landed man on the moon, ostensibly, life has never been easier. A few quick taps and a Big Mac will arrive on our doorstep. We’re living like kings.
Or are we?
Because all this technology means we are constantly ‘on’. Checking emails, playing inane games, scrolling the blight on society that is TikTok – or fortunately not if you’re in the USA, given the Donald sees it as a national security threat. International sanity threat, more like.
Anyway, no, we’re not; we’re unhealthier and unhappier than ever before. If you don’t believe me, reread the line above about Big Macs arriving at the tap of a smartphone. The result is that obesity is at an all-time high and rising; the World Obesity Atlas predicts that half of the world’s population will be overweight or obese by 2035. That’s 4 billion people. This will cost the global economy over $4 trillion. What’s more, according to the World Health Organisation, ‘two of the most common mental health conditions, depression and anxiety, cost the global economy $1 trillion each year.’
That’s a staggering $5 trillion – I don’t even know how many zeros that is – simply because we’re not taking care of ourselves. Because we are trying so hard to be human doings that we’re failing to be human beings. Because we’ve lost our connection.
Add wars, the climate crisis, the fact that men are identifying as women, and children are identifying as cats, and Kanye selling t-shirts with swastikas on them, and it’s all a whopping great big mess. (For Disney fans, Sebastian the crab was right, back in 1987, when he crooned in a Jamaican accent, ‘Ariel, dee human world, eet’s a mess.’ Before bursting into song with his ‘hot crustacean band’ beside him. And, because I have a one-year-old, that’s the line I use to start READY, SET, LIFE.)
But despite all that, we still have the power to thrive in 2025, and I’m here to tell you how.
I call it the Eminem Approach.
If you were into aggressive rap in the late 90s / early 00s, back when Eminem, Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg were counting ‘One, two, three and to the fo’’, and cataloguing how cool it was to ‘Smoke weed every day,’ you will know that Eminem’s moniker comes from his initials; MM.
My approach doesn’t stand for Marshall Mathers, rather Movement and Mindfulness.
The Movement element is simple; exercise. We should all move our bodies in some way because it makes us feel good. And there’s no denying it. Endorphins released during exercise block stress and give us a sensation of improved well-being. Scientific fact.
I’m not suggesting you have to go out for a ten-mile run every day, but you need to significantly raise your heart rate for about half an hour, two or three times a week at an absolute minimum. Five or six times is better; you’re allowed a day off. If running’s not your bag, walk the dog, hit the gym, try yoga, take up fencing, pretend to play quidditch for all I care; it’s all cool. (Except ‘real-life’ quidditch is decidedly uncool, but you know what I mean.) The point is that it’s true what they say; ‘You never regret a workout.’
The physical benefits are obvious – weight loss, better sleep, reduced likelihood of breaking into a sweat climbing the stairs – but it’s the mental benefits that are important here. Take the stress relief part; whatever it is you choose has to take you away from the pressures of daily life, if only for a short time each day. Personally, I run, lift weights, and practice Brazilian jiu jitsu. But not all at the same time, of course. The BJJ in particular requires absolute concentration on what you’re doing. Your mind can’t be on the mortgage, the kids playing up, the turbulent financial markets, or your friend’s cancer diagnosis because failure to focus will result in you being choked unconscious or your arm being snapped off.
The mental benefits bring me onto the Mindfulness. Before you panic and accuse me of being a hippy because I’m suggesting you light scented candles, sit cross-legged, and hum to an eight-legged elephant, hold your horses. If you want to ‘meditate’ in the traditional sense of the word, fill yer boots, but that’s not quite what I mean.
What I mean is simply engaging in the conscious act of thinking about thinking. Sciencey people give it a fancy name – metacognition – but that makes it sound overcomplicated when the process can be extremely straightforward. All you really need to do is dedicate some time each day to ask yourself three questions: how, why, and what.
- How do I feel?
- Why do I feel that way?
- What can I do about it?
‘Time? What’s that?’ Nope, not having enough of it is not a valid excuse, I’m afraid. Albeit a daily practice, mindfulness takes a matter of minutes. Do it rather than setting your alarm to snooze. Do it while your coffee is brewing rather than scrolling through social media.
By doing so, you will learn how to recognise the emotions you feel as a result of different situations and what you can do about them. It’ll help you iron out worrying niggles and make better, more considered decisions. You will begin to understand what makes you tick, so that you can do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel crap.
Being more ‘mental’—and by that I mean being more tuned in to our thoughts and thought processes, rather than Randle McMurphy being lobotomised by Nurse Ratched—allows us to build resilience to all the negativity around us. I listed examples of this negativity earlier to demonstrate that, despite everything going on in the world, we can all achieve incredible things.
Develop a connection with yourself, and you’ll thrive in 2025.
By UK Contributor James Gwinnett
For more information, visit www.jamesgwinnett.com.
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