Do you remember the first night after you stopped drinking? The way a Friday night felt impossibly long, the hum of laughter in a bar that suddenly seemed like a world you no longer belonged to? I do. I thought, Well that’s it. Fun is over.
When I got sober, I couldn’t picture myself laughing without a drink in my hand. But more than that, it felt like I’d lost the glue that held my social life together. So many connections had been built around clinking glasses, late-night bars, “just one more” rounds. Without alcohol, I didn’t just feel like I was giving something up, I felt like I was giving people up too.
I felt like I’d lost a part of myself — the part that could walk into a room and instantly click with someone new, the part that thrived on spontaneity and social energy. I had to relearn how to be present without alcohol as a social crutch, which meant confronting anxiety, self-doubt and old habits head on. Most importantly, I realized I couldn’t do it alone. Being around women who are open about their own struggles, victories and quirks has been life changing. Community isn’t just nice, it’s essential in sobriety.
Building a New Kind of Community
That’s why I created Sober Girls. I knew there had to be a space where women could still have late-night laughter and connection without needing a drink to hold it together. A safe social space for women to create community through events, meetups and shared experiences.
A place where relationships weren’t built on the quick buzz that fades with last call, but on something real — even when it’s uncomfortable or hard to show up for yourself. We launched first in Houston, expanded to Tulsa, and we are continuing to grow. Sober Girls Houston and Sober Girls Tulsa are born out of the desire to belong without having to explain your sobriety, where women can feel every emotion without numbing, and where connection and fun don’t disappear when alcohol does. They get stronger.
August in Tulsa
August with Sober Girls Tulsa was a vibe. First event: Mocktail and Art Crawl. We grabbed drinks at a bar — yes, mocktails, because this isn’t amateur hour — and then stepped straight into Tulsa First Friday in the Arts District. Streets were packed with art, vendors and music, and everyone suddenly became an “expert critic.” But here’s the thing: nights like this remind us that connection doesn’t need alcohol. Women showed up not just for art, but for each other. It was easy, it was social and it proved that a Friday night can feel full and vibrant without a single drink involved.
Next up, Picnic and Pedal Boats day. Picture it: Tulsa, 2025. A group of women realizing the sun is indeed hot, and paddle boating and kayaking for 30 minutes straight is a workout. We paddled, we lounged, we swapped stories and then had mocktails and a picnic like it was our own little lakeside retreat.
Finally: End of Summer Brunch. Green juices, breakfast tacos and then wandering a bookstore and a few shops buying things we didn’t need. There was people watching, belly laughs and those small, easy conversations that turned into finding new friends. Sober life isn’t about missing out; it’s about finding the moments that actually stick.
The Heart of It
The truth? It was never about the mocktails, or the tacos, or even the boats. The real magic is the people — the women who chose themselves every day, who chose to be better than yesterday’s doubts and courageously make the decision to be sober.
It’s the way someone nervously walks in, unsure if they belong, and leaves hours later with new friends and inside jokes. The collective sigh when someone says, “Me too” to a struggle you thought only you had. It’s the way we can tell the ugliest truths about our past and still be met with nods, not judgment.
August reminded me of something simple but powerful: sobriety doesn’t have to be measured in drinks. It’s about showing up, being seen and experiencing real joy with others who understand the journey.
By Contributor: Danay Jones
Danay Jones is the founder of Sober Girls Houston and Sober Girls Tulsa, a growing community creating safe, sober social spaces where women can thrive, connect, and have real run. After getting sober on April 10, 2020, she turned her lived experience into action, making sobriety social and sustainable. Through both in-person and online events, Sober Girls makes it easy to find connection and joy without alcohol at the center.
Find Danay’s journey to recovery and explore Sober Girls Houston and Tulsa for upcoming events, resources, and more at the links below.
- Sober Girls Houston IG
- Sober Girls Facebook
- Sober Girls HTX Tik Tok
- Sober Girls Tulsa IG
- Sobergirls.org
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
What are sober things to do in Tulsa?
Tulsa offers a growing number of sober-friendly activities, including alcohol-free events, wellness gatherings, community meetups, and social groups like Sober Girls Tulsa that create connection without alcohol.
What is Sober Girls Tulsa?
Sober Girls Tulsa is a community that brings people together through alcohol-free events and experiences, creating a fun, social environment without the pressure to drink.
Are there alcohol-free events in Tulsa?
Yes. Tulsa has a growing sober scene with alcohol-free events, pop-ups, and gatherings designed for people who are sober, sober-curious, or simply looking for alternatives to drinking.
Do you have to be sober to attend sober events?
No. Most sober events are open to anyone interested in alcohol-free experiences, whether you’re in recovery, sober-curious, or just taking a break from drinking.
Why are sober communities growing in cities like Tulsa?
More people are seeking connection, wellness, and social experiences that don’t revolve around alcohol, leading to the rise of local sober communities and events.
