“Hank, why do you drink?
Hank, why do roll smoke?
Why must you live out the songs that you wrote?
Stop and think it over
Try to put yourself in my unique position
If I get stoned and sing all night long
It’s a family tradition”
Family Tradition, Song by Hank Williams Jr.
As I was reading an article in The Guardian about Sir Anthony Hopkins talking about his memoir and his addiction, I thought about a line he used:
“Drinking was a family tradition … ”
And boy, could I relate! First of all, I couldn’t help but hear Hank Williams Jr.’s song in my head about his own family tradition, referring to his father, Hank Williams Sr.’s alcoholism and addiction to pain killers which eventually led to his death at the age of 29.
That song was popular when I worked summers in Ketchum, Idaho. I remember singing along to that song and dancing like a wild woman, drunk out of my mind. I sang it out loud because it felt so true. My own mother had died of alcoholism when I was 16 years old, and my sister and I were stumbling along, following the family tradition.
It was only after my sister got sober and started talking to me about her sobriety that I finally listened and decided to join her in recovery. I could see how her eyes cleared up, how her skin improved and how she seemed so damned happy! Well, that and the fact that a psychic astrologer confronted me about my own addiction when all I wanted was an astrology chart for 1988!
And we are not alone. Addiction is definitely a tragic family tradition. Hopkins speaks openly about his father’s alcoholism and depression in his new memoir “We Did Ok, Kid.”
Jaime Lee Curtis has been very open about her own addiction and recovery; and she’s also been transparent about her family’s substance abuse. Her late father, actor Tony Curtis, used alcohol, cocaine and heroin throughout his life, and her half-brother Nicholas Curtis died from a heroin overdose at the age of 23.
Carrie Fisher was another celebrity who spoke and wrote openly about her own addiction and family history. Fisher’s mother, Debbie Reynolds, struggled with addiction to cigarettes and painkillers. Fisher’s father, singer Eddie Fisher, did drugs in front of his kids and passed on a “genetic predisposition for addiction, infidelity and financial idiosyncrasy,” according to a memoir by Carrie’s half-sister Joely.
Bradley Cooper has also been very candid about his addiction and recovery. His father, Charles Cooper, struggled with alcoholism; a significant factor in Bradley’s decision to get sober at a young age.
And the list goes on:
Drew Barrymore has been open about her struggles with her own substance abuse and her family’s history with addiction.
Ben Affleck has publicly discussed his own battles with alcoholism and his father’s history of addiction.
Elton John has been very public about his own addiction — even releasing a movie, “Rocketman,” showing the dark side of it — and he has acknowledged his mother’s struggles with addiction and how that impacted him.
Kirsten Dunst, Lindsey Lohan, Mary-Kate Olsen and Mackenzie Phillips have all spoken openly about their struggles with addiction and their families’ histories of substance use.
But these are only the celebrities that get the press on this subject. In reality, almost every 12-step meeting I’ve ever attended eventually brings up the subject of growing up in an addictive family system. Scratch the surface of most addicts and you’ll find a strong family tradition of addiction.
However, those of us lucky enough to be in recovery can truly change the future. Just one family member getting clean and sober can change the trajectory of future generations. One family member’s commitment to sobriety can create a ripple effect, positively influencing family dynamics and equipping future generations with the tools needed to address and even avoid addiction altogether.
Breaking the cycle of addiction can alter the future. Future generations are no longer destined to follow that horrific family tradition.
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Recovery is hard 24/7, 365 – Please know that resources are available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources. If your life or someone else’s is in imminent danger, please call 911. If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call: 988.
