The Daily Llama brings you short, one-word meditations and a corresponding quote for your complete wool-being (#seewhatwedidthere?) for Monday, February 22nd through Friday, February 26th, 2021.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22nd
THE DAILY LLAMA WORD OF THE DAY: VALENCE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
MEDITATE ON THIS:
For some of us, the ability to find safe, loving, and trusting relationships in adulthood may feel like an elusive dream. We may struggle with letting go of the old beliefs that we are not good enough or that we are unworthy or that nobody can ever really be trusted.
We may have a hard time opening up because we can’t let go of the idea that we are somehow a burden. Or the opposite. We find ourselves opening up too quickly to new people, only to later feel over-exposed and vulnerable.
The non-science-dictionary.com meaning of valence is “the capacity of one person or thing to react with or affect another in some special way, as by attraction or the facilitation of a function or activity.” It’s about our capacity to bond with other people.
So, what bonds us to others? Is it common experiences or similar goals? Is it shared culture or history? It is worth exploring what our needs are to forming a bond with other people.
To do this, ask yourself:
- What do I need from others in order to feel connected? The answer underscores my basic emotional needs.
- Is there anything in my history that makes it difficult to get those needs met? The answer to this question shows me where I need to heal.
- Is there anything to be done today that can improve my chances of getting those needs met? The answer points me towards what I can control and where I can take action.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23rd
THE DAILY LLAMA WORD OF THE DAY: INFLUENCE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
MEDITATE ON THIS:
Most of us have heard the saying, “Variety is the spice of life.” But variety is also the vitamin supplement of life. We need to learn from a diverse selection of voices and perspectives to fill in where our standard diet of knowledge fails to meet our optimal nutritional needs.
It’s one thing to survive. It’s quite another to thrive. And to thrive, we need to optimize our access to wisdom. We need to cultivate an attitude that is open to learning.
Most of us at some point or another hit a plateau. Stagnation signals to us a need for a new perspective. Like thirst is a cry for water, feeling stuck is a cry for a fresh mindset.
So, who are your influences and associations? Could you benefit from a little shake-up in where you’re getting your inspiration?
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24th
THE DAILY LLAMA WORD OF THE DAY: IMPORTANCE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
MEDITATE ON THIS:
The social sciences continue to explore and study people to deepen our understanding of what factors influence human behavior the most. There are different camps with different theories. However, the majority of researchers acknowledge that a significant percentage of what we believe shapes the attitudes we have, and those beliefs and attitudes together influence how we behave.
All of cognitive-behavioral therapy rests upon the idea that to make lasting and fundamental changes in the way you behave, you must also change the way you think. There is an inherent relationship between the two. You can’t change one and expect the other to remain the same.
Yet attitude is slightly different than belief. Belief is the outfit we choose to wear, and attitude is the way in which we wear it. Having a negative attitude is akin to wearing stinky underwear: it feels uncomfortable and nobody wants to sit next to you.
So put on a fresh attitude every morning before you leave the house.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 25th
THE DAILY LLAMA WORD OF THE DAY: SAVVY
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
MEDITATE ON THIS:
Self-acceptance is savvy. One of the most bad-ass things we can do is to change what we can and accept what we can’t. If we’re able to make an improvement, what a wonderful moment that is. But we can also learn to love ourselves wholly and completely exactly the way we are in this moment.
- I am doing enough.
- I have enough.
- I am enough.
- I am savvy AF.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26th
THE DAILY LLAMA WORD OF THE DAY: EFFECTIVE
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
MEDITATE ON THIS:
We all know the maxim, “Actions speak louder than words.” The earliest version of this saying is credited to St. Anthony of Padua in the 13th century. In more modern times, former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss in his Master Class on The Art of Negotiation explains the 7-38-55 rule around communication, stating that all communication is 7% the spoken word, 38% tone of voice, and 55% body language. In essence, what people do or how they behave says a lot more about them than what they say.
It stands to reason then that we will be much more effective in various areas of our lives if we draw wisdom from paying greater attention to behavior than words.
This bread slices both ways. We will become better at discerning which relationships are worth our time and energy if we pay greater attention to how someone behaves rather than listen to them say the things we just want to hear. Likewise, we will be better friends, siblings, children, employees, parents, and spouses if we spend more time and energy on changing our behavior rather than make promises we may not be able to keep or use empty flattery to try to get our way.
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