My mental health journey is like doing a boardslide all the way around the Warehouse in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater One, but the soundtrack isn’t nearly as good.
If a skater ever asks me if I can skate I will tell him I’ve learned to balance paying the bills and not wanting to die, all while living life at a pace faster that I can track so…..yes I can skate.
I can skate by on the bare minimum, staving off a mental breakdown one ridiculously unhealthy dinner at a time.
If you throw in a touch of anxiety I could probably do a kickflip mctwist with my heart.
And much like a pro speedrunner playing Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater One, at this point I’ve done all I can do from muscle memory, and I am just trying to not fuck up until I get to the end of my session and see my score.
A score I can proudly post and show the world that I became really really good at this one thing while letting the rest of my life slide to the wayside.
Or is it skating to the wayside?
Sometimes my poems, like my own inner voice, become tiring.
Sometimes I give up on a poem about wanting to give up.
Call 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It provides free and confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week for people in suicidal crisis or distress. You can learn more about its services here, including its guide on what to do if you see suicidal language on social media. You can also call that number to talk to someone about how you can help a person in crisis. For crisis support in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454.
For support outside of the US, a worldwide directory of resources and international hotlines is provided by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. You can also turn to Befrienders Worldwide.
Help is Available
If you or someone you love is living with substance use, alcohol misuse, a co-occurring, or a behavioral health disorder, there is hope. The Break Free Foundation aids individuals seeking recovery through the Break Free Scholarship Fund. It sends anyone who lacks the financial resources to attend a recovery center to do so at low to no cost.
Review our Treatment Locator Tool to find the right program near you, as well as our list of Hotlines and Helplines. Click here for a list of regional and national resources. On this road to recovery, no one is alone. We are all in this together.
