Author: Contributor to The Sober Curator

Hosted by Carrie May, Founder of Brave and Mary Tilson, Founder of Sun & Moon Sober Living  Both Carrie and Mary are Certified Recovery Coaches through the International Association of Professional Recovery Coaches (IAPRC) with She Recovers Designations. We are a dynamic team combining our professional training with our long-term individual sobriety, extensive history of retreat hosting and a shared passion to continuously empower sober women. We will be gathering in a luxurious mountain home in Evergreen, Colorado for a long weekend of hiking, nourishing meals, awe-inspiring natural beauty, restorative yoga, guided meditation, sound healing, workshops, hot tubbing, laughter…

I am a person who talks about neuroplasticity by day and shamelessly watches reality TV at night. So, let’s get that out there right from the start. I have been fascinated by the show Vanderpump Rules lately in an oddly voyeuristic sense, like not being able to look away from a train wreck, coupled with amusement of the human psyche. I also want to see what La La Kent is wearing. For those of you who aren’t fans, VPR is a show that follows a group of young men and women who, in their early twenties, worked in the restaurant…

Living my best sober life isn’t just about staying grounded, improving myself, and having sober fun. It’s also about respecting and loving my body, mind, and spirit. It’s about running towards myself and with myself, not away, not trying to escape the experience of living. Nothing could revive my whole self the way road races have, like the Philadelphia Love Run Half Marathon (13.1 miles) I just raced in April. There’s something magical about the whole experience, from training through to the finish line and even as I hobble on painful legs into the Coffee Corner for my after-race brunch…

Here in Chicago, spring is springing! I am loving the longer days, sun and flowers poking through the fresh ground. I am one of those people who is energized by the joy of spring. I also recognize that some of you may still have the darkness of winter on your shoulders. Chinese Medicine honors both the dark (yin) and light (yang) that lies within each of us and in nature. You have all seen the Yin/Yang symbol, right?  Do you really know what it means? The Yin-Yang theory is a concept from ancient Chinese philosophy that describes how opposite forces…

I wasn’t a big drinker when I joined the military many years ago. I was a binge drinker. Train hard, party harder. That’s been military culture since before Roman soldiers marched on Gaul. If you couldn’t hang, were you even a man? I was young, strong, impressionable, and a bit lost. I went on to spend 30 years of my life repeating that cycle. A clean week followed by a dirty weekend. Once, I got into the wrong car and drove away. Once, I slept in a train station in Berlin because I missed the last train out. I don’t…

Sarah Hepola’s “Blackout: Remembering The Things I Drank To Forget” is less like a stroll down memory lane and more like a bumpy ride through a colorful life punctuated with potholes (not plot holes, mind). Hepola shares a spectrum of stories in her award-winning memoir, some familiar to your everyday drinker—think college parties and boozy dinners. Some, though, might not be so familiar—think stealing beer as a pre-teen to drink alone or waking up in a Parisian hotel just hours before a flight and no passport. Blackout drinking is not reserved for the alcoholic. Plenty of us have experienced a…

This #Quitlit review features This Naked Mind, by Annie Grace, which has ignited a movement across the country, helping thousands of people forever change their relationship with alcohol.

April Serenity Point #1 It’s Officially SPRINGTIME! Time to AWAKEN your Recovery through Acupressure! What does Spring mean in Chinese Medicine? In Chinese Medicine, springtime represents the Wood element and is associated with the Liver and Gallbladder organs. It’s a time of renewal, growth, and cleansing, both physically and emotionally. During the Spring, I see a lot of people who tell me they feel like they are coming out of the fog of winter. This is a common response to longer days, more sun and a little more warmth (depending on where you live). However, while some people THRIVE when…

Amidst the fervent buzz of New York Fashion Week, designer Tyrone Chablis stood as a visionary, presenting his thought-provoking collection “Armageddon” at Break Free on February 12th, 2024. As I sipped my Red Bull, Chablis unveiled his latest collection, a synthesis of eco conscious couture and storytelling through fashion. “Fashion is about not being afraid; it is about being bold. You make a statement when you have something to say with your wardrobe. When it comes to putting clothes on my clothes are not easy. When you put them on you have to have confidence. Its strong design and either…

Something I’ve been struggling with lately is staying up too late. It’s a vicious cycle. I wake up in the morning feeling exhausted after telling myself I’m going to bed at a reasonable time so I can wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on my day. I’ve noticed that my lack of productivity is directly related to staying up too late either working, scrolling social media channels, binging Netflix shows (that I might not even like), or going down the YouTube rabbit hole. Regardless of what I’m spending my time on, I’ve been stuck in the insanity of…

Facing the aftermath of a relapse can feel like walking through a once serene forest that has been touched by storm. Trees might be down, and the path may not be as clear as it once was, but the beauty of the forest remains, ready to flourish again with a bit of care and time. Dr. Henry Cloud once said, “Trust is the fuel for all of life,” highlighting how essential trust is in nurturing and sustaining our relationships. When a loved one relapses, it’s as though a storm has passed through, and the clearing up process involves mending that…

Welcome to the World of Acupressure for Recovery. I am so grateful to share this healing practice with you each month! This will be a bi-weekly section on The Sober Curator! What to expect:  Each month I will cover 2 points that you can do at home to support your recovery. Let’s start with the basics. What is Acupressure? Acupressure is a small part of traditional Chinese Medicine that involves applying manual pressure to specific points on the body to stimulate the body’s self-healing abilities. It is based on the same principles as acupuncture but uses pressure instead of needles.…

For some odd reason I have been thinking about this Keep On Truckin’ t-shirt I had in the late 70’s during the heyday of the roller-skating era. I had it made at the mall, at a store called Shirt Barn where all the cool kids went. I remember waiting while they put the decal on the front of the shirt and my name on the back. I wore that shirt every Saturday to the USA Roller Rink. All I needed was that t-shirt, my skates, and a disco ball to make me happy. And a ride. I needed a ride. …

When you’re journeying through sobriety, the path isn’t just long—it’s often winding, sprinkled with both bright days and dark nights. For those navigating this road, a strong, understanding relationship can be a beacon of hope and strength. But…keeping that relationship healthy and beneficial for both parties involves understanding a simple, yet profound truth: relationships are rarely ever a perfect give-and-take. Especially in sobriety, where one’s energy and emotional reserve can fluctuate dramatically, the concept of 50-50 can seem like a distant ideal. The secret is recognizing the importance of clear, open communication and valuing alone time becomes crucial in creating…

Earth Day is April 22nd, and our small changes can make a big impact on our planet.  This is a great time to consider how we can work together for a more sustainable future. Find some fresh air to breathe in, grab some organic snacks and a nice cup of herbal tea and enjoy these 5 ways to go green in recovery. 1. Nature Crafts Research shows that crafting has many benefits including reducing stress and improving self-confidence, mood and motor skills and alleviating symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Crafts keep us focused on the present and can be…

Americans’ alcohol consumption rates today look a lot like they did in 1939. Men’s Journal reported on a Gallup poll of adults across all fifty states, and it found that more than six in ten, or 65%, drink alcohol. Meanwhile, the number of nearsighted Americans has ballooned to 41.6% of the population, and nearly 20 million suffer from age-related macular degeneration (AMD). Given these numbers, it’s safe to say that there is an overlap between alcohol drinkers and those with ocular conditions. However, in terms of drinking and eyesight, does correlation equal causation? And can leaving alcohol behind create room…

In the bustling heart of New York City, something exciting is always happening. At the intersection of fashion, art, and innovation is this bespoke event; a collaboration between the iconic Wolf & Badger and dynamic Rehab Studios. I was running late due to an already overpacked schedule, cursing myself for not leaving my hotel sooner. Protesters outside the Louis Vuitton boutique in Soho, calling to end their use of exotic animal skin, had traffic backed up for miles. A giant red purse-shaped sign stated, “Louis Vuitton: A Look That Kills.” It’s fashion week. This is expected. I don’t have time to…

The American Society of Pharmacovigilance bookmarks March 24 as the National Adverse Drug Event Awareness Day. The reason why this day holds much significance is because it’s shining a spotlight on the often dangerous side effects drugs can have. For someone dancing the sobriety tango, this day holds extra weight because (as you may know) navigating medication while keeping one’s sobriety intact is pretty much like walking a tightrope. Drugs, even the ones doctors prescribe, can have reactions that are not just about the physical side of things but can tug at the emotional and mental stability that is so…

Ahhh, St. Patrick’s Day. It’s every active alcoholic’s wet dream. It’s the one day a year when getting drunk is celebrated rather than scolded, where everyone around you is guaranteed to be as much of a sloppy mess as you are, and shots are handed out like lollipops at the doctor’s office. For an alcoholic in recovery, however, it can be the day that most fill you with dread, with the first one most certainly being the hardest. The brain busts and the heartaches at what to do to grapple with this Kelly-green 800-pound gorilla of a sobriety nightmare. While…

When I walked into rehab, I had no idea that a simple task that THEY MADE ME DO would change the trajectory of my life.  For the first couple of days at the facility where I was, they let me decompress and not have a daily unit chore, BUT I had to make my bed every day, and yes, it was checked by staff.  I have no memory of my parents telling me to make my bed or even if I did before getting into recovery. I remember thinking, “What a stupid thing these people are making me do! Why…

March 2nd marks World Teen Mental Wellness Day, a day dedicated to transforming the way society approaches teen mental health conversations and breaking down the barriers of stigma that often shroud these discussions. This pivotal day shines a spotlight on the importance of acknowledging and addressing the mental health challenges faced by teens, which are more rampant than ever. With pressures coming from all sides–be it social media, academic expectations, or personal relationships–it’s no wonder the American Psychological Association labels Gen Z’s mental well-being as being in a precarious state. Yet, amidst these challenges, there’s a glimmer of hope. Teens…

If you walk into a twelve-step meeting in Olympia, Washington, you might be the only brown face in the room. The Pacific Northwest, while more diverse than it was in the past, is still a very white place. I really didn’t notice it while I was in the Army, this feeling of being other. The military is a great equalizer. You live, sleep, laugh, and cry with each other; you are united in so much commonality that you have no other option but to depend on one another. An old paratrooper brother of mine, Brandon, recently reminisced about the friends…

Starting on the journey to kick an addiction is tough for anybody. But imagine doing that while you’re also dealing with ongoing health issues. It’s like trying to climb a huge hill, and halfway up, a storm hits. You’re not just battling the urge to slip back into old habits, but you’re also wrestling with whatever health curveballs life’s thrown at you. It’s a two-front war that needs a battle plan tailored just for you, heaps of patience, and a truckload of determination. The Complexity of Managing Two Fronts Tackling sobriety when you’ve also got chronic illnesses or mental health…

Taking the leap into sobriety is a monumental step. It’s not just about giving up a substance; it’s about reclaiming your life, one day at a time. Amidst this journey, seemingly mundane tasks like commuting can either become stumbling blocks or stepping stones. But believe it or not, your daily drive can play a pivotal role in your sobriety journey. Mindful Commuting for the Win On the sobriety path, every second counts. That daily drive? It’s not just dead time. It’s untapped gold for grounding and growth. Turning your commute into a mindful moment means hitting pause on autopilot and…

Missing The Point Scrolling through Instagram recently I saw a notification for another new and improved sobriety coaching membership. I am all in favor of any group or club helping others explore sobriety. I was curious. The website listed familiar recovery logos, directly comparing them by cost, group size, and messaging. Since when was selling sobriety like selling a gym membership? “At our gym, we limit the size of the classes, use only state-of-the-art equipment, and promise body transformation by using our proven 1-2-3 method. We are unlike those other gyms that cost x amount of money and use outdated…

As The Sober Curator’s UK correspondent, it’s a joy to share some influencers from across the pond to add to your regular dose of sobriety content. As a sober gal in her first year of abstinence, social media has been a massive lifeline for seeking inspiration and support and adjusting the balance of hedonistic vs. holistic posts in my feeds. Here are my five favorite influencers to add some British accents to your collection of sober friends in your pocket. Abi Feltham Powerlifting, TikTok vlogging badass Abi Feltham takes the top of this list for her raw, honest accounts of…

Can you imagine walking into a house where every little thing is in its right spot—no stacks of papers on the counter, no clothes draped over chairs? It feels like a deep breath for the eyes. For someone working on staying sober, this kind of calm isn’t just nice to have; it’s like a secret weapon in a way. It’s all about making a space that feels good, where someone can be their best self, keep their head clear, and stay focused on what matters most. Tidying Up as Good for the Soul Now, think about the actual job of…

Three wives, three lives, one journey The story is a bit familiar: troubled youth, early exposure to substances, and running from oneself. Gahan grew up in Epping, UK, in the 60s with his mother and stepfather, who would pass away when Gahan was 10. He would find out later that his mother was keeping from him that his biological father was trying to reach out to him often during his youth. She did this for reasons known only to her. His biological parents had split when Gahan was an infant. Self-destruction is the pattern. Having no contact with his father…

In the latest episode of The Sober Curator, Kate Vitela sits down with Todd Kinney, an attorney, father of four, husband, and author of the inspiring book “I Didn’t Believe It Either.” The episode offers listeners a deep dive into Kinney’s journey to sobriety, his challenges with drinking, and the unexpected joys he discovered in an alcohol-free life. Todd Kinney’s decision to quit drinking didn’t come overnight. It was a gradual realization, bolstered by therapy, which led him to mark the significant transition between three to six months of sobriety. Initially, Kinney had reservations about joining a support group; however,…

When you embark on a journey of sobriety, it’s like starting a brand-new chapter in your life. As you transform yourself, it makes sense that your living space reflects your new direction. This isn’t just about redecoration–it’s about crafting an environment that echoes the new commitments you’ve made to yourself. By refreshing your surroundings, you’re setting the stage for the new, sober you. At the end of the day, however, it boils down to one simple thing: removing the triggers and temptations that former habits might have left behind and surrounding yourself with a space that’s brimming with positivity and…