Author: Contributor to The Sober Curator

Why I Keep Telling This Story (and Why I Always Will): If you watched my recent speech, first—thank you. Thank you for caring enough to show up and listen to a conversation that, for far too long, has been whispered about, ignored, or misunderstood. I opened that talk with a very real moment—my six-year-old daughter getting sick in the middle of the night. Not the glamorous kind of storytelling kickoff, I know. But that moment reminded me of something so important: I used to be the guy you couldn’t call in the middle of the night. And now, I’m not…

Welcome to the sober HR Lady’s corner, where all questions are good questions, and nothing is off limits!  As a person in recovery who is proudly recovering out loud in both my personal and professional life, I often get questions about how to navigate it all. I know that it can feel overwhelming at the beginning. When I first got sober, I had a second pending DUI, was navigating outpatient treatment, getting meeting slips signed, worried about a job I loved, and (feel free to laugh) still trying to figure out how to date among all of this mess. Here…

Finding Strength When Life Falls Apart I had no intention of naming this podcast episode Resilience: Embracing the Suck, but my husband’s old military term kept popping into my head when I was recording. Because when it comes to building resilience — whether in recovery or just life in general — sometimes you really do have to embrace the suck. And if you know me, you know I don’t sugarcoat things. I recorded this episode after receiving the news that I was losing my job. Because sometimes life throws you a curveball, and all you can do is figure out…

My mental health journey is like doing a boardslide all the way around the Warehouse in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater One, but the soundtrack isn’t nearly as good. If a skater ever asks me if I can skate I will tell him I’ve learned to balance paying the bills and not wanting to die, all while living life at a pace faster that I can track so…..yes I can skate. I can skate by on the bare minimum, staving off a mental breakdown one ridiculously unhealthy dinner at a time. If you throw in a touch of anxiety I could…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, March 10, 2025 – Sunday, March 16, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. We Are All Equal Equal does not equal the same but it does equal the same score. We’re not measuring enough things if we don’t come up with the same score. Precious…

Welcome to my travel series, where we dive into the unique, offbeat, and unforgettable places of the Sonoran Desert in California. First stop — Slab City. If you’re an adventurer, an artist, a curious soul, or just someone looking for a place unlike any other, this one’s for you. Slab City: Where Are We Headed? About an hour and a half south of civilization, past a border control checkpoint and through Imperial City, you’ll find yourself at the edge of a place that’s been called everything from “post-apocalyptic” to “the last free place in America.” But to those who live…

The six-headed beast sits perched on her rock, Scylla. Across from her, the twin disaster, swirling, the whirlpool, Charybdis. How is it that now I am drawn to the Arcana of Temperance? All my life, A Gay Christian, treated as an oxymoron, I try to balance the cups, in my hands as I tread through life, searching for a home or rock. Throughout this path, at times desperately and listlessly, I try to uncover and find love. A priest, had told me one time, “If you’re gay, you can’t have Jesus’ Love.” There, in my memory, one of the sneering…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, March 3, 2025 – Sunday, March 9, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. The Value is the Thing The thing is not the value. The value is the thing. Do you value things or do your things have value? Better Than Before We like to…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, February 24, 2025 – Sunday, March 2, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. February 24 – Sometimes the Answer is a Question In a world obsessed with quick fixes and finding answers, the value of asking better questions often gets overlooked. It’s the quality of…

Let’s celebrate Sober St. Patrick’s Day! Check out this throwback from Tonix Mocktails circa 2021, powering up an oh-so-creative mocktail called “We are the Luckiest” to celebrate our love of #QUITLIT, Sober St. Patrick’s Day, and the Reading Rainbow Theme Song. ???? We love, love, love the book “We Are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen. This one’s an ode to you, Laura! What’s in the mix with the “We are the Luckiest” Inspired Lucky Lemonade Mocktail by Nik Popkow @Tonix.Mocktails this week? Ingredients: “This is the singular, hard truth I come up against every day: I am the only one responsible for my experience.” — Laura McKowen, We…

Waking Up to the Truth: My Skin Was Screaming for Help  I used to think makeup could cover everything—dark circles, acne, dryness—but no concealer could hide the damage alcohol was doing to my skin. My skincare routine was nonexistent, my diet was a disaster, and my hydration levels were practically zero. I’d fall asleep in a full face of makeup, barely drink water, and fuel my body with Captain and Coke instead of real nourishment. My skin wasn’t just dull; it was desperate for change. What I didn’t realize was that the real glow-up wouldn’t come from expensive serums or…

Wearing green and traditionally indulging in alcoholic beverages are staples of St. Patrick’s Day, a holiday celebrated every March 17th that pays homage to Ireland’s patron saint. This day, which is deeply rooted in Irish history and Christianity, has blossomed into a global celebration of Irish culture. The festivities include dazzling parades, an abundance of green attire, and, due to the lifting of Lenten restrictions, the customary enjoyment of alcohol. However, the essence of the holiday goes beyond alcohol, focusing on celebrating Irish heritage, exploring its rich culture, and enjoying the company of friends and family. For those in sobriety,…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, February 17, 2025 – Sunday, February 23, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. February 17 – Rhythm Replaces Repetition Repetition is effort. Rhythm is alignment. Repetition keeps things moving. It reinforces habits, builds muscle memory, and ensures we don’t lose momentum — repetition DEVELOPS purpose.…

“This is it; this is the end.” The warning was sudden and clear. It wasn’t a bellow nor a whisper, just a matter-of-fact voice in my head. I’d say that it startled me, but I’m not sure I even registered it until after I reflexively countered. “No way, I’m not ready yet!” Though I had no idea where the voice came from, I knew it referred to my drinking. It was 1 AM in Moab, Utah, the first night of a 10-day trip through the southwest. I’d had one beer at dinner—a low-alcohol beer, at that—and yet I’d woken up…

When I launched You’ve Been Selected, I knew I was putting my story out there. I hoped people would listen—but, if I’m being honest, I secretly hoped they’d be strangers I’d never have to see in real life. Then came the messages. Childhood friends. Old colleagues. “Hey, I listened to your podcast—I had no idea.” Going all in on a public platform doesn’t just mean shouting your story into the void. It means walking into Starbucks and realizing that the person from high school in line behind you knows you shit your pants, lost your teeth, and burned your career…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, February 10, 2025 – Sunday, February 16, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. February 10 – Potential Surrender Courage is surrendering to the potential regardless of consequences — real or imagined. What potential are you willing to surrender to? February 11 – Selective Ownership Intentional…

What if all the horrible things we do to ourselves In our minds and in our hearts Are to keep us from realizing How much we love our lives And how afraid we are to lose them What if all the anger we have towards people Who bastardize the things that we stand for Is really just confusion about How the things we stand for could hurt people What if all the fear we have About everything being OK Is really a fear that Everything is OK right now but we still don’t feel OK My favorite conspiracy theory is…

When I first got sober, I had two sugar daddies. I had quit my job at a law school where I spent most of my time in the bathroom sitting on the toilet, crushing lines on top of a bar review book. My solution to finding another job was posting a headless picture of myself on Craigslist in heels and red garters. “Sugar Daddy Wanted.” I met two nice men. Omar, the Iranian, and Harry, the Orthodox Jew. It was two weeks after my very first meeting that Harry and I had our sixth date downtown at The Georgian. He…

sunrise sobriety soul by soul gathering together as one in a room with no walls and waves that gently greet the morning sun wayfarers trudging the road to happy destiny day after dutiful day some stringing together hours other stringing years all as one one for all on the beach at popoia breathing new day air oblivious to things that can’t be changed searching for wisdom in this one hour of spiritual healing that is being passed one to another in the most gentle…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, February 3, 2025 – Sunday, February 9, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. February 3 – No Worries vs. My Pleasure The phrases “No worries” and “My pleasure” may seem interchangeable, but they carry distinct tones and intentions shaping how we connect and communicate. “No…

Sam Lansky’s Broken People explores a young man’s search for healing from self-induced anxieties driven by a constant, judging inner dialogue. This semi-autobiographical novel shines a light on human vulnerability—an honest and often humorous look at self-discovery’s messy, complicated process. Doing the math, the real-life Sam would have been around seven years sober when this book was published. The story centers around Sam, a young writer trying to navigate a history of addiction, heartbreak, deep emptiness, and self-loathing. At a party, he overhears about a mysterious shaman who claims to perform “open-soul surgery”—a healing technique that promises to erase emotional…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, January 27, 2025 – Sunday, February 2, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. January 27 – The Story of You The ‘story of you’ is a story of a person playing a role we assigned and an interaction we critiqued. The story reflects what we…

Rewired by Erica Spiegelman challenges traditional addiction recovery paradigms and offers a fresh perspective tailored to the modern age. Spiegelman is a licensed substance abuse counselor and is recovering from substance abuse herself. The book purports to provide a new, holistic way to navigate recovery. She has a thriving counseling practice and seems to have helped many recover.   One of the things I liked about the book was the conversational tone and honesty about her journey. The writing is clever and relatable. Spiegelman acknowledges that recovery is not one size fits all. I find that true for this book as…

Recovery has gifted me so many things, but the gift that overwhelms me the most is the love it has enabled me to bear. It’s a beautiful thing, really, but oh, my Lord, can it be overwhelming. I’m blessed with so much love and connection that I haven’t learned how to carry it all. Staying in touch with everyone I care about feels like an impossible task -not because I don’t want to but because I miss them so damn much. It’s the ironic and antithetical truth: that I miss people too much to give them a call. Let’s take…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, January 13, 2025 – Sunday, January 19, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. January 13 – Unspoken Understanding Words inform us as to what our current thinking is, and those words are part of our semiotic. Our semiotic is the unspoken understanding of context. Semiotics,…

Jessica and I first bonded over missing teeth—a not-so-glamorous side effect of blackout drinking. When I met her in 2021, she was hosting an online meeting for the virtual sobriety group @sobermomssquad. It was my first time connecting with recovery friends through internet meetings, where I logged into Zoom, stared at tiny square icons, and told complete strangers my life story. What stood out wasn’t just the vulnerability—it was the laughter. Hard, belly-aching, trust-filled laughter with another woman I had just met online. As we got to know each other, we realized our connection went beyond being drunk and toothless.…

It seems that in its search for eternal balance, my brain has decided that for every time I feel good, I must feel equally and oppositely bad. Whenever I get to a point where I can let my consciousness surrender my control, I have noticed that my subconscious steps right back in to retake it. If I wrote an old timey diary I’d be diagnosed bipolar, in the morning it would say, “I think I can do this,” And in the evening it will say, “You didn’t, and you can’t.” An unkind mind will make you wonder if all of…

Welcome to the Classy Problems weekly mash-up for Monday, December 30, 2024 – Sunday, January 5, 2025 Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding. December 30 – It’s All on Loan Everything we possess, our so called stuff, is temporary. We forget that we can’t take it with us. If we can’t take it with us,…

Recovery is about rebuilding balance in your life and restoring your physical and mental health while creating healthy routines. Or what I like to call the Re-Birth of the Self. I have worked in this field for seven years and have been in recovery for 16 years. With all the tools we are taught regarding our newfound health in recovery, there is something I have not heard discussed: the topic of Light. It has been long overlooked not only in the field of addiction recovery but in the medical field at large. I am here to shed light, if you…

Sometimes I wish I could die at my desk. I could silently slide into the bliss of never having to work to live again. Because this isn’t work it is death. It is crawling through the sewer pipes of a bloated and corrupted system, Clawing at whatever shit we can to push down the pipe to those below us. Then we tell them to be grateful for what they have. Then we tell them they shouldn’t be there in the first place. Sometimes I wish I could die at my desk so I don’t have to be angry anymore. So…