How was Step 6? Most of us can easily identify our significant character flaws, but have you taken the time to uncover the more subtle ones? I hope so! Welcome to the 7th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 7 marks a turning point in the spiritual journey of recovery.
This step reads: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”
It may appear simple at first glance, but it involves a profound inner transformation that requires humility, vulnerability and a sincere desire for change. In Step 6, we became ready or willing to let our defects go, and now we are taking the next step in letting them go.
We acknowledge in Step 7 that we cannot remove our character defects alone, so we ask a higher power, as we understand it, to help us remove our shortcomings. Taking this step, like several before it, requires humility, which is a key theme throughout the program. Let’s dig in.
Understanding AA’s Step Seven: Asking for Removal of Shortcomings
As we learned in Step 6, our shortcomings often involve behaviors, attitudes or habits that have not served us well in the past. Most of these have been deeply ingrained for years, so it is no easy task to flip a switch and turn them off. The word “humbly” is central here. This is not just a casual or self-serving request for a better life, but a humble appeal for growth and transformation.
In “The Twelve Steps and Traditions,” Bill Wilson explains: “The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear — primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or fail to get something we demanded. Living upon unsatisfied demands, we were in continual disturbance and frustration” (p. 76).
In this sense, the root of many of our shortcomings lies in self-centeredness, and Step 7 is about surrendering that selfishness. It requires us to let go of the illusion of control and trust in a higher power, whatever that may mean for each of us.
Humility in Alcoholics Anonymous: Foundation for Spiritual Progress
Humility, as defined in the Cambridge Dictionary, is “the quality of not being proud because you are aware of your bad qualities.” When we recognize and acknowledge our shortcomings, we bring our ego back down to earth. It is harder to judge others harshly or react in anger to others’ shortcomings when we are mindful that we are not perfect either.
On the other hand, being humble does not mean that we turn our knowledge of our shortcomings into feelings of guilt or shame. Everyone who draws a breath has shortcomings, and there is no shame in having them ourselves. When we take Step 7 seriously, we can have some pride in actively working to remove ours.
By humbling ourselves before a higher power, we begin to relinquish the false sense of control that contributed to our addiction. Wilson emphasizes that it is through humility that real change can happen, writing, “Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation of all spiritual progress.”
Bill Wilson was keen on this topic and noted, “The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings, just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
In Stoicism, humility is a crucial virtue, though the term itself may not always be explicitly used. For the Stoics, humility is closely tied to recognizing one’s limits of control and understanding one’s place in the larger scheme of things.
Marcus Aurelius emphasizes we must “Keep reminding yourself of how small a part you play in the grand scheme of things.” He recognized that we are just one small piece in the vastness of the universe, and as such, we should not become overly attached to our ego, status, or achievements. As a reminder, he was an Emperor, so imagine the challenges of keeping his ego in check with that kind of power!
True humility allows people in recovery to open themselves to the idea of a power greater than themselves. We acknowledge that we cannot do it alone by subduing our pride and humbly asking this higher power to remove our character defects.
Overcoming Challenges: Embracing Humility in Recovery
For many of us who struggled with substance abuse, the idea of humility can be foreign and uncomfortable. Alcoholism and addiction are often characterized by control and ego — an inflated sense of self-worth or, conversely, deep self-loathing masked by bravado.
One of the critical mechanisms the ego uses to establish self-worth is comparison with others. This can often play a role in denial, which keeps some of us from getting sober in the first place. Thinking, I am not as bad as that person, so I cannot be an alcoholic, is not an uncommon thought.
The same applies to comparing income levels, material possessions, relationships and other aspects. Depending on how we spin it, we can exaggerate our self-worth or self-loathing. Humility stands in stark contrast to these defense mechanisms.
Explaining the importance of embracing humility in “The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions”, Wilson writes, “The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of AA’s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all” (p. 70).
The ego is ever present and constantly battling to get its way in our daily lives. Even the humblest among us is not free from the cunning way of the ego. The Dalai Lama himself notes, “Even I feel anger or attachment sometimes. But I practice awareness. I recognize it and let it pass. The mind needs training, like a muscle. It doesn’t come naturally — even for me.”
Humility is challenging because we often find ourselves swimming against the current in a world that emphasizes perfection. We are bombarded with social media that portrays perfect lives that rarely match reality, marketing for products that lead us to compare ourselves to others and other societal pressures.
Identifying Shortcomings: Character Defects in AA Step 7
Shortcomings refer to character defects or flaws that contribute to destructive behaviors. A good example is that we may become easily angered. When we become angered, we may say or do things that are destructive — either mentally or physically — to ourselves and others. These are deep-seated habits, fears, resentments or attitudes that have often been built up over a lifetime. Other examples include pride, bitterness, selfishness and anxiety.
Many people in recovery have spent years struggling with feelings of shame and guilt as we acted out on our character defects and made many attempts to address our addiction issues. We can carry these feelings into sobriety, and our self-loathing can become a barrier to ongoing sobriety. If we have this experience, in Step 7, we want to acknowledge self-loathing as a shortcoming and face it head-on by humbly asking for it to be removed.
Addressing these shortcomings is crucial in enhancing our sobriety and the overall quality of our lives. If we do not deal with our shortcomings, we can quickly revert to drinking in the belief that it will help us manage stress. Deep down, we know that alcohol is not the answer, but our disease is relentless in seeking opportunities to regain control of our lives.
The Stoics believed that moral development involved identifying and working to remove vices and shortcomings. For them, these shortcomings (or character defects) were rooted in irrational desires, passions and impulses that prevented us from living virtuously. The goal for the Stoics was to live by nature and reason, which required eliminating irrational tendencies.
As always, our goal is progress, not perfection. After initially asking our higher power to remove our shortcomings, we must act by being mindful of when we are practicing them and actively working to eliminate them in our lives. We are simply trying to become the best version of ourselves, one day at a time, one action at a time. Addressing our shortcomings brings us one step closer to that version.
The Higher Power & Spirituality in AA Step 7
The Seventh Step involves taking action to address our defects. We are asking our higher power for help. Removing shortcomings requires us to be aware of when we are practicing them, the courage to break the cycle and to make amends in real time if we have inflicted damage, mentally or otherwise, on someone.
At the core of Step 7 is the idea of allowing a higher power to work in our lives. This may seem daunting, especially for individuals who struggle with faith or spirituality. In previous steps, we discussed the importance of a higher power; a brief recap is helpful here. Bill W. puts it bluntly: “We must find a spiritual basis of living, else we die” (“Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 44″).
While AA uses the term “God,” it is essential to note that this term can have different meanings for different people. The concept of a higher power is left open to individual interpretation, allowing flexibility in how people approach this step. Allowing our higher power to work in our lives is not easy, but it is simple. We often lack the awareness or courage needed to make the necessary changes in our lives, so we turn to our higher power for guidance and support.
If we have a God as our higher power, we ask them to keep us mindful of our actions throughout the day and to provide us with the courage to address our thoughts or actions that have harmed others. If our higher power is a 12-step group, we may ask them to point out when our behaviors are not healthy.
With the help of our higher power and doing our part, we can see our shortcomings removed. Some shortcomings are more difficult to overcome than others, but if we see progress in lessening each shortcoming, we are on the right path.
Working Step 7: Action, Reflection, & Ongoing Growth
Remember that we “work” the steps even when we are turning things over to a higher power; that is not a free pass to continue acting and behaving poorly. We put the will of our higher power above our knowing, as our will often leads us into trouble. It is our responsibility to seek guidance and then act upon it.
We are encouraged to continually practice humility, acknowledging our limitations and asking for our higher power’s help on a daily basis. Humility isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing practice. It is the foundation for continued growth in recovery.
The 7th Step shares many similarities with the 1st Step in terms of surrendering our will.
The following excerpt from “The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions” applies equally to step seven: “When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, ‘Well, thank God that’s over! I’ll never have to go through that again!’ Then we learn, often to our dismay, that this is only the beginning of a new journey, which must be taken in all humility and patience” (p. 92).
Surrendering is an ongoing process, and it is not always immediate. There may be times when a person feels resistant to letting go of certain defects, either because they provide a false sense of security or because they are deeply linked to past trauma or pain.
The Stoics were also keenly aware that this process of removing shortcomings was never complete. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself regularly that progress in virtue is an ongoing journey: “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.”
As Wilson observed, “We shall need to raise our eyes toward perfection and be ready to walk in that direction. It will at first be a rocky road, and, depending on the severity of our character defects, it may be a long one.” His words remind us that overcoming defects is not always smooth or easy, but it is essential to recovery.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Humility in Daily Life
I have discussed the importance of being humble or having humility extensively. This is another area that requires long-term, consistent effort to develop. Below are a few things you can do regularly to help practice humility:
Acknowledge our limitations: Be aware of our strengths, weaknesses and limitations, and embrace them instead of avoiding them. There is no shame in having character defects if we are making an honest effort to overcome them over time.
Be open to feedback: Ask for feedback from others and be open to constructive criticism. Doing this can be difficult as we must set aside our ego and listen. The worst thing we can do when asking for feedback is to reply with rationalizations of our behavior, or worse yet, become angry with the person giving the feedback. We receive the input, process it and determine its value to us.
Be a good listener: There is no greater gift we can give someone else than our full presence in a conversation. We all need someone to talk to at times, without the goal of fixing something. We need someone to listen. By putting our needs aside and resisting the urge to offer our divine advice, we humble ourselves.
Be teachable: I do not care how smart you are, there is always something to learn if we choose to. Being open to learning suppresses our ego, acknowledging that we are not as smart as we sometimes think we are. Epictetus reminds us, “A man can’t learn what he thinks he already knows.”
Serve others: Consider volunteering at a food bank, homeless shelter or any other organization that helps those in need. We are all in this life together, and helping others rather than putting our needs first is an act of humility. As a side benefit, when we do this work, we often realize that our worries and problems are insignificant.
Develop Empathy: Try to understand and appreciate others’ perspectives and experiences. We tend to prioritize ourselves and often focus on our own needs and feelings. When we step out of our world and develop empathy, we are also practicing humility.
The Transformative Power of Humility in AA Step 7
Working up to Step 7, we have put considerable effort into identifying our shortcomings. That effort was a stepping stone towards the goal of removing them in this step. We know, just like getting sober, that we cannot address our shortcomings all by ourselves. We need help and humbly ask for it to address our shortcomings.
As Bill Wilson often reminded members of AA, humility is not about self-deprecation; it is about self-awareness. It is about recognizing our need for help and being willing to ask for it. As we humbly ask for the removal of our shortcomings, we begin to experience real change — not only in our behavior but also in our hearts and minds.
Stoicism emphasized the importance of practicing the four cardinal virtues — wisdom, courage, justice and temperance. Stoics believed that by focusing on living virtuously, individuals could gradually remove their shortcomings and grow in moral character.
Step 7 teaches us that genuine growth comes from humility; through this humility, we open ourselves to the possibility of lasting recovery.
12-Step STOICISM SERIES by Tony Harte:
- Finding Power in Powerlessness: Step 1 and Stoicism
- Finding a Higher Power & Stoic Wisdom | Step Two
- Step 3: Surrender, Stoicism & Your Higher Power in Recovery
- Step 4: Moral Inventory & Stoic Wisdom for Recovery
- Step 5 Guide: Admitting Wrongs & Finding Freedom
- AA Step 6: A Guide to Willingness and Change
- AA Step 7 Explained: The Power of Humility in Recovery
- Step 8: A Path to Healing and Accountability
- How Step 9 in AA Helps You Release Guilt, Build Trust and Find Peace
- AA Step 10: Maintaining Sobriety and Personal Growth
- Step 11: Deepening Spiritual Growth in Recovery
- Step 12 and the Stoic Connection: Finding Purpose in Recovery
SPIRITUAL GANGSTER: at The Sober Curator is a haven for those embracing sobriety with a healthy dose of spiritual sass. This space invites you to dive into meditation, astrology, intentional living, philosophy, and personal reflection—all while keeping your feet (and your sobriety) firmly on the ground. Whether you’re exploring new spiritual practices or deepening an existing one, Spiritual Gangster offers inspiration, insight, and a community that blends mindful living with alcohol-free fun.
Spiritual Gangster Line-up:
Stoicism & Sobriety – Ancient Philosophy for Modern Recovery with Sober Curator Contributors Derek Castleman and Tony Harte
The Card Divo – Quick & Sober Tarot Readings with Sober Curator Contributor Senior Daniel G. Garza
Classy Problems – Clarity, Restraint & Mindful Decision-Making with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Dan T. Rogers
SoberCast with Six – Astrology & Tarot for the Sober Life with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Analisa Six
Sobriety in Flow – Yoga Beyond the Poses with Senior Travel Sober Curator Contributor Teresa Bergen
Thirsty for Wonder – Recovery Coaching & Spiritual Companionship with Sober Curator Contributor Anne Marie Cribben
Spiritual Substance – Mindfulness, Science & Soul with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Lane Kennedy
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