You’re sober and it’s the Holidays. There are work events, gatherings with friends, and of course time with the family. Although all of these events can be with different groups of people, there is often one constant; alcohol.
Whether this is your first Holiday Season sober, or you have many years under your belt, this time of year can be challenging. We want to celebrate and gosh darn it, we deserve to celebrate, but how do we do it safely and sober? I have some suggestions.
This will be my 14th sober Holiday Season and I’m not “fixed” or “cured,” but I have successfully navigated the Holidays sober for many years and I have had a lot of fun along the way. The things that I do (and don’t do) are very deliberate and here are a few of them:
- Don’t do it alone – Take a sober friend or family member.
- Always drive yourself – When you want to leave or need to leave, you can.
- Be open about your sobriety – If people know that you are sober, most people will support your decision.
- Only go if you are in the right mindset – If you are in a bad mood, a down mood, or not solid yet in your sobriety, there’s always next year.
I’m a member of a popular step group and there’s a passage in the “large book” that we read, and it has a few great lines about this:
- “So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking if we have a legitimate reason for being there.”
- “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?”
- Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
All of these lines are saying something very simple.
Am I comfortable enough in my sobriety to be there and am I able to give something while I am there, rather than take something?
Many people focus on what to say if someone asks them if they would like a drink. They will practice the line and wait anxiously until (or if) they are asked. I will share what I say and hopefully, this will help others.
The host: “Hey, would you like a drink?” or “Can I grab you a drink?”
Me: “Absolutely. What kind of soda do you have?” or “Sure, a bottle of water would be great!”
Rarely am I ever asked why I am not having an alcoholic beverage, but if someone says, “You don’t want a beer or a mixed drink? Nope, the water will be fine.
Here is the reality. We are not that important and everyone is more focused on themselves and not us. So whether we are drinking alcohol or not, is not a big deal.
Here is the bottom line and I will wrap this up in a nice little Holiday bow.
If you are not comfortable going to the event, don’t go. It’s not worth being uncomfortable and from a selfish standpoint, none of us want to go anywhere when we know we won’t have a good time.
Enjoy the Holiday Season and stay sober my friends!
#ADDTOCART: 12 Irreverent Holiday Gifts for People in Recovery « The Sober Curator
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