On June 10th, an intimate crowd gathered at a private penthouse in Soho for the 16th edition of Feeling Into, a living room-style Q&A series curated by the team behind the feels. The evening’s theme—“The How of Dating”—offered a refreshing, honest look at the contradictions, confusion, and cultural conditioning surrounding modern romance.
Led by Faith Hill, a staff writer at The Atlantic known for her coverage of dating, connection, and young adulthood, the event created space for attendees to unpack the societal narratives that often leave singles feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, or stuck. Hill invited participants to examine how we might balance the passive hope of “letting it happen” with the agency of intentionally crafting our relational paths.
I found the event to be extremely thought-provoking. It also served as a precursor to my attendance to the feels, a somatic irl dating experience.
Together, the room explored key questions: How do we find love in a culture of burnout and disconnection? How do we counter the isolation that seems to define so much of American life? And what does a healthy return to intimacy, both romantic and communal, really look like?
Something Hill said stuck with me. She discussed how there is a myth that people meet someone at a bar or club and begin dating them. Throughout history, that has rarely been the case: dating a stranger. We are seeing that more now compared to “back in the day”.
Why? What is the difference? Enter: online dating. Where we, quite literally, are dating strangers. So what did my parents do? How did they even meet?
Well, they met like most folks their age, through their friends. Connections used to be formed through a friend setting you up, or your Mom meeting this “nice guy” from church, or your neighbor introducing you to her son. While these people were new to you, they weren’t new to your circle. Online dating has completely revolutionized the way people meet. We’re no longer dating within our social circles; we’re dating outside of them and forming completely different ways of connecting.
So then, what is the solution? Hill suggested that we go back to our roots as a society. Join a club, take up a hobby, and try to meet people in person. Consider attending these events alone or with friends. Expanding your world will expand your opportunities to find a genuine connection that isn’t based on something superficial like your looks (or in my case, my chronic swiping right on any person with a cute cat. It’s not you, it’s your cat, they’re JUST SO CUTE!).
I left the event feeling refreshed and ready to face the feels in two weeks. You can read about my experience here.
As always, the event served up some serious sober sips brought to you by Curius Elixirs, and was a night surrounded by thoughtful conversation and shared reflection. The event was recorded for later release through Stories by Allie, the narrative platform dedicated to digging deeper into the story.
Key Takeaway: Dating today isn’t just about finding someone—it’s about healing from societal disconnection, rewriting old scripts, and showing up as an active participant in your own story.
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