For as long as I can remember (over 30 years), I drank alcohol every day. Beer being my biggest drink of choice. Most of that time I was a functioning drinker… go to work, do what I needed to do for the day, then come home in the evening and put down 6 or 8 beers and relax.
I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, so this was my way of letting go and feeling ok for the night.
This was the way I was for years, and to me, it worked. But the last few years I started to slowly snowball out of control… Covid, no work, weird work when I had some, awkward video meetings, family, dealing with a Mom who started the beginnings of dementia, my anxiety was out of control. I was now drinking during the day, before meetings, and numbing myself as much as possible. I was drinking more and much stronger beer, IPA’s, and putting them down like water. Then I stopped eating, just drinking.
In the last year and a half, I have been hospitalized three times, the first time for internal bleeding, all from drinking and not eating. As I write this I have been in rehab and have been sober for 54 days. (November 9th, 2023)
I pray to stay sober, I’m not used to it, I feel upside down, but I need to. I’m hoping that writing what is on my mind will help me through it. And maybe someone else?
Hanging onto the rails…
Meet Contributor Doug Dutton, Author of Resurrection of Thought
I’m your average guy, just hanging onto the safety rails of life, in my pursuit to be somewhat “normal”.
Kill my addictions before they kill me, quiet my anxiety, be happy not depressed; as well as think and talk all things addictive, mental, spiritual, esoteric, or just way interesting to me.
I’m gonna vent on here, hopefully for my own good and mental wellbeing. But any interest, comments, or feedback, would be a welcomed bonus.
-Doug
The above post was Doug’s first article on his new blog Resurrection of Thought. CLICK HERE to catch up on Doug’s recent blog posts and follow along with his journey.
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A Disco Ball is Hundreds of Pieces of Broken Glass, Put Together to Make a Magical Ball of Light. You are NOT Broken, Friend. You are a DISCO BALL!
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