The tomatoes on my windowsill blush in slow motion. One shade deeper each morning, refusing to be rushed. I watch them while I make herbal coffee, feeling that familiar tug of impatience that used to send me scrolling for flights, sales, or the next glass of rosé. Scarcity loves urgency. It whispers, Hurry! Someone else will get the best bite, the last ticket, the perfect moment. You’ll miss it if you blink.
Seven summers into sobriety, I’m learning to linger instead. Rather than chasing more, I practice noticing what’s already glowing in my hands. It’s not a pivot I made cleanly or once. Scarcity was my mother tongue. Abundance is the language I’m still conjugating softly, with effort, with grace.
But some mornings I swear I hear it clearly: the quiet hum of the ceiling fan, the velvet curve of a nectarine, the way sunlight makes dust look like glitter. That’s how abundance speaks. Not in declarations, but in details.
How Scarcity Sneaks In
Scarcity shows up in recovery like a houseguest who doesn’t know when to leave. It clings to the doorframe, smirking, arms crossed.
- Time Scarcity: “You wasted so many years drinking — catch up. Be someone now.”
- Joy Scarcity: “Everyone else is laughing louder, loving better, drinking wine on patios in Provence. You’re behind.”
- Worth Scarcity: “If you were stronger, you’d be healed by now.”
I once believed that sobriety was about vigilance. About staying alert to avoid falling back. But what I’ve learned is that the deeper work has been about letting go of the idea that life is a tightrope and I’m always one misstep from collapse. The harder thing has been surrendering the belief that I have to earn joy.
Sobriety handed me back my time. But I didn’t know how to hold it. It felt slippery. I filled it with podcasts, planners, half-finished projects, advice columns and vitamins. I filled it like someone might take it away again.
Because abundance, when you’re used to drought, can feel like too much. Too good. Too unfamiliar.
The Savoring Practice
Savoring became my daily rebellion. A way of saying, I will not rush through this life I fought so hard to reclaim.
It’s a practice. A pause. A choice. I borrowed the bones of it from mindfulness teachers, but over time it grew its own skin.
1. Pause – Three breaths. Not perfect breaths. Not “yoga breaths.” Just enough to feel the air shift. Enough to notice you’re here.
2. Name – One small delight. A glint of sun off a spoon. The cold press of tile against bare feet. A folded T-shirt still warm from the dryer.
3. Taste – Let it be good. Stay with it for a full inhale and exhale. Don’t run past it. Don’t explain it. Receive it.
4. Share – With someone. With yourself. Write it down. Say it out loud. Tell a friend: There was a bird that landed on my windowsill and looked right at me.
Savoring is a soft refusal to live in survival mode. It rewires your nervous system toward noticing. It reminds your body that joy isn’t something you have to hunt. It’s something you can greet.
What Savoring Looks Like in Real Life
It looks like saying no to a second errand so you can sit in the shade.
It looks like keeping the library book overdue because you’re still rereading the best parts.
It looks like standing by the open fridge and letting the cool air touch your skin for one deep breath.
It looks like placing your phone face down while you eat, just to taste one bite without interruption.
It’s not grand. It’s not curated. It’s yours.
Savoring in Sobriety
When I was drinking, I wanted everything to feel like more. I didn’t know how to enjoy what I already had. I’d hoard experiences, consume fast and keep reaching. There was always something missing, but I could never name what it was.
Now, I know. What was missing wasn’t a better drink or a brighter life. What was missing was me. The version of myself who could be present enough to taste, to witness, to enjoy.
Savoring isn’t a reward for sobriety. It is sobriety. Or at least, it’s what sobriety makes possible when we stop trying to prove we deserve it.
Questions for Gentle Reflection
- What pleasures have been sitting in plain sight, waiting for you to slow down?
- Is there anything you’ve been afraid to enjoy because it feels like too much, too soon?
- What would happen if you let one moment today be enough?
Scarcity tells us that joy is a dwindling resource. That if we don’t fight for it, we’ll lose. That if we don’t act fast, someone else will get the good parts.
But I’m starting to believe that joy is less like a pie and more like a tide. It returns, again and again, sometimes quietly, sometimes in waves. And if I can stand still long enough, if I can unclench my hands and stop striving for a life beyond the one I’m in, then I might just notice: the fruit is ripening. The light is changing. And right here, in this moment, there is enough.
More than enough.
THIRSTY FOR WONDER: at The Sober Curator, led by Anne Marie Cribben—a passionate recovery coach and spiritual companion based in Washington, DC—offers 1:1 coaching, spiritual guidance, and recovery support rooted in compassion and empowerment. As the creator of The Wellspring: A Celtic Recovery Journey, Anne Marie blends the Celtic calendar with sobriety, connecting participants to ancient wisdom and the rhythms of nature.
A fierce advocate for sobriety as liberation and self-love, she challenges the targeted marketing of alcohol to women and champions authentic, joyful living. Her work goes beyond addiction recovery, fostering a life of vibrancy, purpose, and connection.
Welcome to HAPPY EVERY HOUR, your go-to hub for all things NA (non-alcoholic). We review alcohol-free beers, ciders, wines, spirits, RTDs (ready-to-drink), and share NA cocktail recipes that taste just as good—if not better—than the boozy originals. Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or just taking a break, this is where great taste meets zero proof.
TRIGGER WARNING: People in early sobriety may want to proceed with caution. Always read labels. Please hydrate responsibly … #becausedrunkneverlooksgood.
Getting sober is one thing—but staying sober? That’s where the real adventure begins. The Sober Curator Podcast, hosted by Alysse Bryson and featuring the many voices of Sober Curator Contributors, proves that ditching booze doesn’t mean ditching fun, pop culture, or your social life.
Each episode serves up bold conversations, celeb interviews, zero-proof cocktail inspiration, and pop culture deep dives—all with laughs, honesty, and zero preachy vibes. Whether you’re sober or sober-curious, you’ll find insider tips, real-life stories, and endless reasons to love the alcohol-free life. Pull up a seat—this party’s just getting started!
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