Every time I open any of my social media apps, I feel like they’re all trying to murder me.

It doesn’t matter which one. They’re all out to get me.

At night, after I put my phone down on the night table, I look under the bed to make sure it’s safe.

I have nightmares about Insta and Facebook standing over my prone, sleeping body, waiting for the right moment to smother me with their huge digital pillows.

I don’t think I’m being paranoid. Maybe I’m being a tad dramatic for the sake of compelling content, but paranoid?

I think not.

There is solid evidence to prove it.

We all know that all our trusty gadgets have ears. They are all excellent listeners. Alexa, Google, iPhone, Nest, Ring. I don’t even trust my old Atari 2600 at this point. Who knows when they collude, what they conspire, or how they recruit?

I can assure you that I’m not trying to go all Alex Jones on you.

This isn’t some cockamamie conspiracy theory, I swear.

When I switched professions a year ago, I consciously decided to be more outspoken on my social media platforms. I do my best to advocate for those living or struggling with substance use disorders and mental health conditions. It’s important to me, but more importantly, it’s just important.

I talk a lot about alcoholism, addiction, depression, anxiety, and all sorts of recovery-type stuff. I always keep it positive. My wife and daughters are all aware that I’m in recovery and have always offered their unwavering support. Because of this, mental health and recovery are often a topic that comes up in our house. Sometimes someone is paying attention, and sometimes it’s just me babbling.

I’m not green behind the ears. I know that anything I say or write, and maybe even think at this point, is fair game to the digital bugs that live in my general proximity.

But here’s the rub.

Lately, my feed has been absolutely saturated with a plethora of ads for micro-dosed cocktails. (Respect to El Guapo for bringing the word plethora into the mainstream)

Before a few weeks ago I had no idea they even existed. Now, I’m a legitimate connoisseur of all things related to the “non-alcoholic buzz”.

Damn, I’m still stuck in the Bartles & Jaymes era.

Apparently, wine coolers aren’t a thing anymore. Good riddance.

Why would my feed be trying to poison me with products that they well know I don’t, won’t, and can’t consume?

Bruh.

I haven’t craved any substance in a very long time. I know how to play the tape forward. I’m a proud member of the No Matter What club. One day at a time, right?

But…

I must admit, I caught myself daydreaming the other day while consuming some of this propaganda. I said to myself, maybe I can order a case of that micro-dosed mushroom refresher without anyone knowing and just give it a go.

SLAP!

TBH, it was scary AF.

I shook that off after about 3 seconds, but it really caught me off guard.

I truly and honestly believe that everyone has the opportunity and the right to recover at their own pace and on their own path. If someone is going to put down the needle and switch over to a THC and CBD-infused beverage that keeps them safe and alive, I’m all for it.

But I don’t have that luxury.

I need to manage my feed with the same iron hand that Dalton wielded at the Double Deuce.

Screw you, Facebook. No, thank you, Insta. Bug off X.

I would indeed like to see less of these types of advertisements in my feed. They are, in fact, not helpful.

It’s my turn to smother your smug, capitalist, digital face with my tiny pillow made from a billion invisible Xs and O’s.

Jason Mayo lives in New York with his wife and two daughters. He got sober in March 2010. He is a certified recovery peer advocate at a not-for-profit community center on Long Island. He does outreach and helps organize free sober events for people with substance use disorders and their families. Learn more about Jason HERE. Check out Jason’s Blog: Sober Not Subtle.

Curated Directions To Get Rid of Unwanted Ads on Social Media Channels:

To manage and control the ads related to alcohol and drugs that appear on social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, users can follow these steps:

INSTAGRAM:

Open the Instagram app and go to your profile.
Tap on the menu icon (three horizontal lines) and select “Settings.”
Click on “Ads” and then choose “Ad Topic Preferences.”
Look for the “Alcohol” and “Drugs” categories and select “See fewer posts like this” to limit such content in your feed.

TIKTOK:

Open the TikTok app on your device.
Go to your profile and tap on the three dots in the top right corner.
Select “Privacy and Safety,” then tap on “Digital Wellbeing.”
Toggle on “Restricted Mode” to limit the visibility of content relating to alcohol and drugs.

FACEBOOK:

On the Facebook app or website, click on the menu icon (three horizontal lines).
Go to “Settings & Privacy” and select “Settings.”
Click on “Ad Preferences” and then “Hide Ad Topics.”
Look for “Alcohol” and “Drugs” categories and choose to hide ads related to these topics.

TWITTER/X:

Log in to your Twitter account and click on your profile picture.
Select “Settings and privacy” from the drop-down menu.
Click on “Privacy and safety” and then select “Personalization and data.”
Under “Personalization and data,” you can adjust settings related to interests and data shared with partners to potentially limit ads related to alcohol and drugs.

By adjusting these settings, users can better control the types of ads they see about alcohol and drugs on their social media accounts, promoting a more personalized and tailored advertising experience.