For most of my adult life, I carried two secrets like heavy stones in my pockets. The first was my battle with alcohol, which I thought I’d perfected the art of hiding. I told myself I was the polished, high-functioning alcoholic climbing the corporate ladder, checking all the boxes, and holding it together. But, let me tell you, when I got drunk, things got sloppy. People probably saw more than they let on. Maybe they didn’t know how to tell me. Maybe I pretended not to notice. Either way, I was the one living the lie — part of the sober lifestyle struggle many of us face.
I’ve known since I was 12 that I was attracted to women but buried that truth so deep it barely felt like mine anymore. I tried to outrun it for years — got married once and later almost married someone I genuinely cared about but wasn’t in love with, all just to avoid the judgments I feared. The irony? I’m not a religious person, but the way I see it, Jesus seemed like a pretty cool dude. If I ever met him, I’m sure we’d high-five, and he’d tell me to stop stressing about what everyone else thinks. The stuff people judge today? I’m confident he’d side-eye half of it. What I really needed was to stop hiding and finally embrace who God created me to be on this sober adventure.
Sobriety: A Life I Didn’t Think I Deserved
Sobriety gifted me a life I didn’t think I deserved — a decade of clarity, healing, and rebuilding. But coming out four years ago? That was the key I didn’t know I was missing. It felt like the final click in a combination I’d been trying to turn for years. I didn’t just step out of the closet; I stepped into myself, embracing the sober lifestyle that allowed me to thrive.
Corporate Life vs. Living Authentically
Leaving the corporate world was my first scary leap. Coming out was the second. For years, I played the corporate version of myself — dependable, good on paper, always performing, always “fine.” Meanwhile, I felt like a visitor in my own life, caught in a cycle of doubt and the sober curious lifestyle awakening.
Then sobriety forced me to get honest. And honesty? It forced me to get brave. And bravery? It led me straight to my truth.
Coming out didn’t just shift my path; it rebuilt my entire foundation. Suddenly, everything made sense — my patterns, my discomfort, my disconnect. I finally understood myself in a way I never had before, turning my focus towards sober recovery.
Finding My Tribe: Alysse Bryson and Astoria
One of the beautiful side effects of living your truth is that it attracts the right people — like magnets finally aligning. For me, that person was Alysse Bryson. We clicked instantly; she became one of my closest friends, championing creativity, recovery, and community with a joy that’s downright infectious. And yes, we are 100% those people who geek out over The Goonies.
Several years later, we found ourselves in front of the actual Goonies house in Astoria, Oregon — two grown adults on a childhood pilgrimage, laughing like we were 12 again. Somewhere between the nostalgia and the salt air, it clicked: my life was expanding in directions younger me never would’ve believed. Meeting Alysse started me down a pretty surreal path, where I transitioned from a podcast producer to a cohost, eventually becoming an entrepreneur building shows that help people feel seen. Now, I wake up in the morning, genuinely excited — like pinch-me excited — about my work and the sober community I get to do it with.
Purpose Awaits When You Get Honest
Today, I live a life rooted in purpose and service, embodying the best lessons of sober living. I help people flip the switch inside themselves — the one that turns possibility back on. I see potential in people before they see it in themselves, probably because I know exactly what it feels like to underestimate your own power.
And none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten sober, then brave, and then honest. Living outside my comfort zone? Doesn’t scare me anymore. It’s where I learned who I really am. It’s where life keeps getting bigger.
The Foundation for Everything Else
Here’s one thing I’m clear about: If I lose my sobriety, I lose everything. It’s my anchor, my compass, my non-negotiable. From that foundation? Anything is on the table — whether it’s finding humor in the sober jokes shared with friends or exploring sober travel adventures that allow me to explore the world without alcohol.
Coming out didn’t just free me; it taught me that purpose isn’t something you stumble into; it’s something you unlock. And on the other side of fear is a life I still can’t believe I get to live — a life where I wake up grateful instead of bracing for impact.
I live surrounded by people who see me — the real me. A life built from truth, recovery, and the courage to rewrite everything.
I’m becoming the person I was always meant to be… and I’m just getting started. (High-five, Jesus!)
Whether you’re looking for sober travel tips, the best quitlit book reviews, or inspiring sober content creation, remember: recovery is the new black, and embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle opens up endless possibilities. Your journey toward sobriety and authenticity may lead you to places you never imagined.
More Goonies content…
- IG Reel Goonies Trip Day One
- IG Reel Goonies House
- Stay tuned for our interview with the owner of the OG Goonies House dropping 12/03/25.
COMING OUT SOBER: shares’ personal stories from our Sober Curator contributors in the LGBTQ+ community about living sober, proud, and out loud. From hilarious mishaps to heartbreaking truths—and everything in between—these narratives explore what it means to break free from both booze and societal norms. This space celebrates authenticity, resilience, and the power of living your truth without alcohol.
Don’t miss our LGBTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide for supportive tools, connections, and inspiration.
Help is Available
Addressing the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use requires a multifaceted approach that acknowledges the unique challenges faced by this community. By advocating for inclusivity and expanding resources, we can create recovery environments where all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, can find support and healing. Click Here for a list of LGBTQ+ Recovery Resources.
SOBER POP CULTURE at The Sober Curator is where mainstream trends meet the vibrant world of sobriety. We serve up a mix of movie, podcast, fashion, and book recommendations alongside alcohol-free cocktails, celebrity features, and pop culture buzz—all with a sober twist.
We’re here to shatter the “sobriety is boring” myth with a mash-up of 80s neon, 90s hip-hop edge, early 2000s bling, and today’s hottest trends. From celebrity shoutouts to red-carpet style inspo, this is where sober is as chic as it is fun. To the celebs using their platform for good—our Sober Pop Trucker hats are off to you!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
