The Serenity Prayer is one of the most well-known prayers in the world. Most people attribute this prayer to Reinhold Niebuhr, who wrote it during the years leading up to World War II as a prayer intended to inspire courage in people to rise up against evil forces at work in the world.
The abbreviated version became a staple in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings after Bill W. read the prayer and was dumbstruck by how it summarized what he and others were attempting to achieve through the 12 steps. Voila, the Serenity Prayer catapulted into the world.
However, the philosophy of the prayer is older than the prayer itself. Over the years, philosophers and religious leaders in all the major (and many of the minor) spiritual traditions have written about the idea of accepting what cannot be changed and having the courage to change what can be changed.
Theology Nerd Alert!
I could nerd out here, but I’ll spare you the history lesson. Suffice it to say that the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer has strong roots in the history of human faith and thinking. It is very old wisdom.
Not a fan? Possibly you’ve heard it too many times, and it may have lost its shine. Or you’ve had a negative experience with AA and have trouble letting go of the association. Or maybe you struggle to believe in a higher power of any kind, let alone asking that power to grant you anything.
Whatever your reasons, if you’re still reading this, you may be looking for some good alternatives to the Serenity Prayer. So, I’ve curated some for you. Some of these may be familiar as they are well-known, and some may seem obscure. It’s by no means a complete list, but a starting point.
Prayer #1: The Prayer of St. Francis
Feeling like you are looking for a prayer to inspire you to be a better person? You may like:
PRO: This prayer is a classic and well-known. Its words encourage you to focus on your actions or what you’re bringing into the world rather than whining about what you’re not getting or what people are doing to you. It’s a call to be a better version of yourself and to stop playing victim.
CON: It’s a very Christian prayer, and the word “Master” may turn you off or trigger you. Furthermore, from a needs-based perspective, you can’t pour from an empty cup. We need consolation and empathy so that we have enough to sustain us as we give to others. But then again, the prayer directs us to seek that power from God and not from other humans.
If St. Francis gives you flashbacks from Catholic school and you’d rather not go back there, but you like the sentiment of Make Me An Instrument, you might rock better with:
Prayer #2: Bodhisattva Prayer for Humanity
All the striving to be a better person in the world without the undercurrent of neglecting one’s needs and boundaries.
Prayer #3: Lead Me – Thomas Merton
Feeling like you need a prayer to help you get through feeling confused or lost? You may like:
PRO: Also a classic and well-known in certain circles, but it feels fresher and modern than it really is. This prayer acknowledges the roles of doubt and uncertainty in a life of faith, but it ends on a high note. This is good to say when you need to bolster your faith on days you feel you have none.
CON: If you don’t identify your Higher Power with the “Lord God” language, you may not care about this one. But that is an easy change if you wish to name your Higher Power with another name, or leave off that bit altogether.
Prayer #4: Consider this prayer from the Hindu Upanishads
Like the thought of Merton’s prayer, but still need something not so Christian?
Prayer #5: The Beauty Way – Traditional Navajo Prayer
Feeling like you want to pray, but can’t pray to a Higher Power who is too masculine or too Christian? You may like:
PRO: It’s not hard to fall in love with this prayer. It sounds feminine and loving, and for those who struggled with surrendering ourselves to a Higher Power who sounds masculine and demanding of utmost loyalty, this prayer feels healing and supportive.
CON: This prayer may feel too ethereal for many struggling with the dark side of addiction. However, the Navajo lived and loved in some of the most beautiful but harshest terrain in the Americas, and they carry a rich and wise spiritual tradition that is far from fluff. It is likely that the author(s) of this prayer composed it within the context of much suffering. It speaks to the resilience one can build through prayer and deepening awareness of the world around us.
To read the prayer in its entirety, you can go here.
Prayer #6: May I Be At Peace
Like the femininity of the Navajo prayer, but would prefer to stay closer to the Christian tradition? Then roll with this one:
Prayer #7: Buddhist Prayer of Forgiveness
Feeling like you need a prayer to help you learn how to let go and forgive? You may benefit from knowing:
PRO: It is a beautiful affirmation for nurturing a forgiving heart and beginning a practice of self-acceptance and loving-kindness.
CON: If you are criticizing a prayer that is solely about forgiveness, you might benefit from talking with someone who gets paid by the hour to listen to you.
Prayer #8: Prayer for Peace
Like the idea of praying for forgiveness, but want something else? Consider this one:
Prayer #9: May All I Say
Feeling like you need a prayer to remind you to watch your tongue? You may consider using:
PRO: It’s short and sweet and gets right to the point.
CON: It may be too short if you feel you need a little more time in prayer.
Prayer #10: Sufi Prayer for Peace
So, need more words to get your point across? Consider then:
Hopefully, you found a prayer or two in this list that have revitalized your interest in how prayer can support your recovery process. But in the end, you don’t need that many words to nurture your spiritual self.
In her book, Help, Thanks, Wow: Three Essential Prayers, Anne Lamott writes:
““I don’t know much about God and prayer, but I have come to believe, over the past twenty-five years, that there’s something to be said about keeping prayer simple.”
— Anne Lamott
Want to see what Anne Lamott has to say about prayer? You can get her book here.
These three concepts are at the core of recovery: admitting we need help and asking for it, being grateful for what we receive, and being present to enjoy the beauty of life in spite of, or even because of, the pain we have endured. Prayer can be a powerful avenue to reconnect us to these truths. Many studies show the brain-changing and pain-relieving benefits of having an active prayer life, regardless of religious affiliation.
Check out this article to learn more about the benefits of prayer.
Why Look for an Alternative to the Serenity Prayer?
People search for alternatives for many reasons:
- They don’t identify with the spiritual language
- They want secular or psychological framing
- They prefer strength-based affirmations
- They want phrasing that speaks to modern coping and resilience
How to Use These Alternatives
- As a morning reflection
- During meditation
- In recovery meetings
- In journaling practice
- As calming affirmations before sleep
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Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
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What is the Serenity Prayer?
The Serenity Prayer is widely used in recovery communities to promote acceptance, courage, and wisdom.
Are there alternatives to the Serenity Prayer?
Yes. Many people use alternative affirmations or personal prayers.
Do you need to be religious to use the Serenity Prayer?
No. Many people interpret it in a spiritual or personal way.
Why is the Serenity Prayer important in recovery?
It helps people focus on acceptance and personal growth.
Can affirmations help in recovery?
Many people find affirmations helpful for maintaining positive mindset.
