Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding.
Classy isn’t just a read: it’s a practice. Read, listen, and join us for Classy Problems Live, a 15-minute, live virtual conversation held Monday through Thursday at 12:15p PT, where we gather to reflect on the Classy Problems post of the day. No need to prep. Just connect, explore, and reflect.
If I Am Being Honest
I tell myself I’m being honest.
I believe it.
I even feel self-righteous about it.
Until later.
When something doesn’t add up.
When someone reflects something back.
When I feel the tension I talked my way around.
If I’m being honest, I’m not always sure if I’m being honest.
What I do know is when I’m consciously being dishonest.
The lie. The avoidance. The performance.
Hard to admit in a post.
Easy to see in my intentional review.
What’s harder to see and easier to admit,
is when I am unconsciously dishonest.
When I am oblivious to it.
It’s not truth.
It’s perception posing as truth.
I’ll push it with conviction.
Call it clarity.
Claim it as obvious.
It’s not.
It’s just my interpretation.
delivered with confidence.
Backed by urgency.
Rooted in fear.
That’s what gets me in trouble.
Not lying.
Believing I’m right.
Without realizing,
I’m guessing.
Dishonesty isn’t only deception.
It’s disconnection.
From myself.
From what’s true in the moment.
What resets me? Asking,
“Am I owning the truth as I perceive it,
or pushing it as the truth as I want it to be?”
It moves me from posturing to presence.
If I’m being honest,
there’s very little capital-T truth.
There is a whole lot of perception.
If I Am Being Honest
Dishonesty stems from
not owning the truth
as I perceive it to be.
That’s the restraint.
The work.
When I pretend my interpretation
is the truth,
I move out of alignment.
I lose integrity.
Not from the lie.
From the lack of listening.
If you’re being honest,
are you sure you’re being honest?
Mine the Gap
It’s easy to treat the gap like a to-do list item.
A problem to solve.
An inefficiency to address.
I thought my job was to close it.
Fast. Clean. Correctly.
The faster I tried to close it,
the less I understood it.
The more I missed.
I noticed I was skipping something.
Something valuable.
Something alive.
I paused for a moment.
Stayed in the discomfort.
Named what was here.
Noticed what I preferred.
Let the difference between those two things
be the work.
That’s when it became evident.
The gap isn’t something to fix.
It’s something to mine.
Not for certainty.
For clarity on how I could contribute.
Now, when I notice the gap,
I don’t close the gap.
I make it mine.
I remind myself:
This space is an invitation.
Asking for the gift of my participation.
Mine the Gap
We all know the feeling.
We spot something missing.
Move fast to fix it.
What if the fix isn’t the work?
What if it’s the space between
what is and what could be.
That space has a name.
It’s called the gap.
It’s the ground.
Where development happens.
Where truth lives.
Where discomfort shows up.
It asks us to stay a little longer.
Not to fill it.
But to mine it.
Mine the pattern.
Mine the perception.
Mine the pace.
The instinct is to close it.
To optimize it.
To fix it.
Don’t.
Let the gap speak first.
Then listen.
Then participate.
Where are you rushing to fix
instead of staying to see?
This vs. That
I call something “better.”
More evolved. More true.
More…I don’t know…
More better.
When really, it’s different.
I frame it as clarity.
It’s my preference.
I frame it as progress.
It’s my reaction.
I missed that I started ranking
instead of noticing.
Defaulted to hierarchy.
Instead of curiosity.
I wasn’t choosing
this.
As much as I was rejecting
that.
Without ever asking:
based on what?
This pattern shows up in moments of decision.
Where urgency demands a winner.
Instead of inviting a witness.
Like choosing “speed” over “stability”
before even defining what’s required.
This loop has a signature:
Comparison that defaults to conclusion.
Awareness replaced by assumption.
What pattern disrupts my thinking:
Comparison doesn’t have to be choosing a winner.
It can be more helpful to make a choice
with my eyes open.
The question isn’t “which is right?”
It’s “what’s required right now?”
Knowing the difference makes room for my intention.
Not my preference.
Parts or Patterns?
I tried to create impact
from assembling the right pieces.
Smart people.
Put them in the right order.
Strong processes.
Provide targets.
Clear goals.
Put the right parts
in the right time
at the right places.
That’s how you build something
that works.
That’s what I told myself.
That’s what I still tell myself
when I want to feel in control.
I was measuring parts,
not noticing patterns.
I was tracking inputs.
Not watching
what happened between them.
The magic,
or the mess,
isn’t in the parts.
It’s in the interaction.
It’s always in the interaction.
Having a high-performing team on paper
that still underdelivers in practice.
The interaction design is broken.
This loop has a signature:
Assembly thinking
without relational awareness.
Expecting excellence from components
without coherence.
What helps me interrupt that pattern:
What is this system producing
between the parts?
What signal is coming from the space
between the people?
Performance isn’t the sum of what we bring.
It’s the product of how we interact.
If I don’t examine the interactions,
I’ll mistake activity for alignment.
The product of the interaction
always reveals the truth.
Silent Driver
It’s clear.
We’re aligned.
The path forward is obvious.
I say it with confidence.
Built on.
Layered with.
Wrapped in
Assumption.
Unspoken.
Unverified.
Unaware.
I was running a script
I never wrote down.
Treating belief like fact.
Making part of the system
invisible by default.
It’ll be their fault
when they don’t
meet my expectations
despite all my “communication.”
This is the loop of
expectation
without verification.
No confirmation.
Trying to check in
without a reservation.
The right question is:
What belief
is driving this choice?
I need to give
the silent driver
a voice.
The Story of You
I tell myself I’m just observing.
Noticing what happened.
Recalling what was said.
I call it paying attention.
Awareness.
It’s judgment.
Subtle.
Persistent.
Automatic.
I’d started writing a story
without naming the author.
I replayed your words.
Your tone.
Your expression.
The story I told
wasn’t about you.
I said it was.
It was about
how I needed you to be.
How I want you to be.
Like walking away from a meeting
thinking “they didn’t listen”
without asking what story
I brought in about being heard.
This is the loop of my critique
interpreted as my clarity.
The right question is:
What need or fear is this story
built to protect?
In the narrating of your behavior,
I can conveniently avoid my own.
Stories guide our relationships.
Every “you” story I write
was started with a “me”
as the author.
Aligning for Thriving
I thought thriving
was dependent on abundance.
More time.
More money.
More margin.
More imagination.
More inspiration.
More of everything.
I called it growth.
It was imbalance.
I was over-developing one side
and under-investing in the other.
Resource-rich, but idea-poor.
Idea-rich, but resource-poor.
Misaligned.
Like stockpiling content
at the cost of having the capacity
to ship it.
This is the loop of excess
that leads to indifference.
Imagination in excess
of my resources.
Resources without any
imagination.
Both become waste.
The right question is:
Are my resources and imagination
in relationship?
Thriving doesn’t come from more.
It comes from intentional growth.
Aligned development.
Where each imagination
amplifies resources.
Where resources
inspire imagination.
Nothing overpowers.
Everything contributes.
Want more from us? OPT IN to our daily email and join our Classy Problems community. It’s where we abandon certainty in the pursuit of clarity, one interaction at a time.
Classy Problems is a daily post of thinking in motion by Dan T. Rogers. Each post stands alone as a thought-provoking piece, yet together, they create a puzzle of ideas. They invite you to see things from a different angle, rethink what you thought you knew, and explore what’s beyond your current understanding.
What is a classy problem? A classy problem is when we’ve been afforded the opportunity to figure out what to do. Time to figure it out. Time to practice. Time to discern. When faced with the time to figure out a classy problem, it is more effective to focus on what NOT to do than trying to figure out what to do. In a word: restraint. JOIN US in exploring the distinction between what to do and what not to do in the pursuit of clarity.
THE INTENTIONAL COURSE: Explore our upcoming virtual courses held every week and choose the path that resonates most with your journey. Each session provides a supportive space to reflect, learn, and develop alongside a like-minded community.
Through facilitated sessions, participants focus on one concept at a time, allowing for flexible implementation and deeper learning. The Intentional Course fosters a supportive community where participation is key and offers valuable interactions through small group discussion for shared experiences enhancing comprehension and personal development. This course is offered for fun and for free with no strings attached.
SPIRITUAL GANGSTER: at The Sober Curator is a haven for those embracing sobriety with a healthy dose of spiritual sass. This space invites you to dive into meditation, astrology, intentional living, philosophy, and personal reflection—all while keeping your feet (and your sobriety) firmly on the ground. Whether you’re exploring new spiritual practices or deepening an existing one, Spiritual Gangster offers inspiration, insight, and a community that blends mindful living with alcohol-free fun.
Spiritual Gangster Line-up:
Stoicism & Sobriety – Ancient Philosophy for Modern Recovery with Sober Curator Contributors Derek Castleman and Tony Harte
The Card Divo – Quick & Sober Tarot Readings with Sober Curator Contributor Senior Daniel G. Garza
Classy Problems – Clarity, Restraint & Mindful Decision-Making with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Dan T. Rogers
SoberCast with Six – Astrology & Tarot for the Sober Life with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Analisa Six
Sobriety in Flow – Yoga Beyond the Poses with Senior Travel Sober Curator Contributor Teresa Bergen
Thirsty for Wonder – Recovery Coaching & Spiritual Companionship with Sober Curator Contributor Anne Marie Cribben
Spiritual Substance – Mindfulness, Science & Soul with Senior Sober Curator Contributor Lane Kennedy
SOBERSCRIBE NOW!
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
