In I’ve Never Done This Before, Claire Rudy Foster invites readers into a raw, deeply human world of characters shaped and scarred by addiction, fractured relationships, and the relentless pursuit of meaning amidst chaos. This collection of short stories pulses with gritty realism, portraying lives on the edge with striking vulnerability. Foster, a nonbinary trans author in long-term recovery, brings an intimate understanding to the narratives, crafting each one with an unsettling and profoundly moving clarity.
Foster’s characters—whether grappling with a failing marriage to a porn-addicted spouse, a Hell’s Angel at the end of his rope, or a heroin-addicted escort on the cusp of redemption—are flawed, fragile, and fiercely relatable. These aren’t stories of redemption in the traditional sense, but rather meditations on survival, on what it means to scrape through life’s most brutal moments and emerge, not unscathed, but perhaps slightly more whole.
The author’s prose is taut and vivid, delivering gut-punches in just a few pages. Each story is a snapshot, a glimpse into a life in the middle of unraveling, yet Foster’s attention to detail makes these brief windows feel rich and complete. This is the true gift of I’ve Never Done This Before—the ability to make the reader care deeply, sometimes achingly, about characters who are often at the lowest points of their lives.
Take, for instance, Runaway, one of the standout stories in the collection. Written in the second person, it pulls the reader into the psyche of a protagonist running from themselves as much as from the world. There’s an urgency in the narrative, a plea for empathy that lingers long after the story ends. Foster doesn’t offer simple resolutions here; instead, they probe the complexities of human frailty, offering no easy answers.
A persistent theme of absence runs throughout the collection—absent parents, lovers, and selves. In Fidelity, a narrator reflects on her deteriorating marriage with heartbreaking honesty: “My body missed him. My heart was on the fence.” Like many in the collection, this line perfectly encapsulates the tension between love and loss, between yearning and resignation. Foster’s characters often find themselves lost in the gray spaces between these emotional states, unsure of where they stand or where they’re going.
What makes I’ve Never Done This Before particularly powerful is Foster’s ability to balance the grittiness of their subject matter with moments of unexpected tenderness. Addiction, trauma, and pain are never glamorized, but neither are they stripped of their complexity. Foster allows their characters the space to be fully human, to exist as both tender and brutal, vulnerable and guarded. The result is a collection that feels alive with the messiness of real life, with the contradictions that define us all.
The collection also reflects Foster’s keen understanding of how identity and addiction intersect. As a nonbinary trans author in recovery, Foster infuses their work with a deep empathy for those living on the fringes of society. Their stories are populated by people often overlooked—addicts, escorts, bikers, the forgotten. And yet, Foster treats each character with a dignity that underscores the universality of their struggles.
It’s impossible to talk about I’ve Never Done This Before without acknowledging the searing honesty that permeates the collection. Foster’s writing doesn’t shy away from the difficult or the uncomfortable but confronts it head-on, laying bare the emotional and psychological toll of addiction in a way that feels both unflinching and compassionate. This collection is for readers unafraid to confront the darker corners of human existence. It is for those who understand that sometimes, the most meaningful stories are the ones that leave us unsettled, asking questions about our capacity for understanding.
In I’ve Never Done This Before, Foster offers readers more than just a collection of stories—they offer a window into the lives of often invisible people. In doing so, they remind us of the power of fiction to connect us to our shared humanity. This collection is as much a meditation on survival as it is a portrait of addiction. Through it, Foster cements their place as a writer of extraordinary empathy and insight. It is a powerful, necessary work that speaks to the resilience of the human spirit, even in its darkest hours. I give Foster’s I’ve Never Done This Before 4.5 out of 5 Sobees.
The Sobees Addiction Fiction Score: 4.5 out of 5
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