A Spiritual Toolkit for Recovery

When I got sober, I wasn’t looking for religion—I was looking for relief.

You see, I grew up in a religious home. Both of my grandfathers were Nazarene pastors. I spent my elementary and junior high years in private Christian school. I had a belief system deep in my DNA, but once I started drinking alcoholically and introduced drugs into my system, I could no longer access the spiritual connections that I had with my higher power, whom I choose to call God, the big Guy, or the Boss. The strong connections I experienced as a child and young adult simply evaporated.

I often think about the spirits I opened my soul up to in active addiction—how they blinded me from the truth. I was desperately seeking relief from the chaos, the shame, the “just one more” cycle that always ended in regret.

What I discovered, though, is that recovery isn’t just about removing the substance. It’s about finding a new way to live. A way that feels free. A way that feels true.

That’s where three timeless guides come into play: the 12 Steps, the 10 Commandments, and the Beatitudes. Different origins, different audiences, but at their core they all point to the same thing—living a life that’s aligned, surrendered, and filled with purpose.

The Chart: Three Roads, One Destination

Below you’ll find a chart I created that lines up the 12 Steps, the 10 Commandments, and the Beatitudes side by side. When you take the time to really look at it, the parallels are stunning.

The first column shows the practical pathway of recovery—humility, honesty, making amends, and service.
The second column lays down God’s commandments—clear boundaries for living in right relationship with Him and others.
The third column flips the script with Jesus’ teaching—showing us that blessing comes not through power or perfection, but through humility, mercy, and peace-making.

Three roadmaps. One destination: freedom.

Surrender, Honesty, Renewal

Step One tells me I’m powerless. Some people have a real aversion to saying they are powerless. I find it freeing. I have zero control over people, places, and things. Commandment One tells me not to put other gods (or bottles, or bank accounts, or relationships, or handbags) above God. The first Beatitude says: Blessed are the poor in spirit.

See the theme? Freedom begins when we stop playing God and let God be God.

From there, honesty takes center stage—whether it’s a moral inventory, refusing to bear false witness, or striving for a pure heart. Recovery isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment.

And oh boy, alignment takes hard, humiliating, gut-wrenching work. It’s exhausting. Thankfully, God never asked me to do it perfectly or 24/7. By His grace, I get to be my messy, emotional, erratic self and still belong to Him. (Side note, please use whatever pronouns work for you, and I’ll continue to respect that and use the ones that work for me. We can both be right.)

And then there’s renewal: prayer, meditation, Sabbath rest, hungering and thirsting for righteousness. That’s where we trade chaos for peace and exhaustion for grace.

Service: The Secret Sauce

If you scan down the last row of the chart, you’ll see it plain as day: it’s not about you.

Read that again. IT’S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.

I didn’t truly grasp this until I started helping other women in recovery. Watching the lights come back in their eyes, families reunite, miracles unfold—that’s an experience you don’t want to miss. It turns out, you do have to give it away to keep it. So simple, yet entirely against our self-seeking survival instincts.

Step 12 is about carrying the message.
The 10th Commandment reminds us not to covet, but to live in gratitude. I practice writing at least three gratitude’s each day, and I encourage you to try doing that for 30 days and report back on how you feel.
The final Beatitude blesses those who stand for righteousness, even when it costs them.

The secret sauce of recovery is service. When I get outside of myself—whether it’s sponsoring someone new, showing up at church, volunteering, or just listening without checking my phone—I taste freedom.

That happy, joyous, and free kind of freedom. And it tastes better than a soft, served vanilla cone covered in sprinkles.

And honestly? It feels like the electric energy of a sold-out Taylor Swift concert—sequins, friendship bracelets, and all. ✨

The Christian Lens

For me, it all comes back to the cross. I believe Jesus died for my sins, and that truth colors the way I walk this path—even as I walk it imperfectly (and yes, with a potty mouth).

At first, recovery was just about not drinking. But as sobriety stretched into years, I realized I was still the problem. My behaviors needed to change. My character defects needed to be faced. My faith needed to be real. That’s the thing no one tells you about being sober for the long term. You don’t get to blame ANYTHING on being drunk, stoned, or high. EEK!

Now recovery is about gratitude for grace. Grace that’s bigger than my past. Grace that makes me new. Even if I drop the F-word daily. (Sorry, mom)

And here’s the good news: whether you call it grace, higher power, or simply “something greater,” these three roadmaps work together. They’ll meet you where you are. They’ll lead you where you need to go.

If you know me, you know I don’t preach. I won’t tell you if or how you need to get sober. I also won’t tell you if or how you need to find God or a higher power. That’s on you to seek understanding. But I will try to demonstrate what I’ve learned—even if that means making mistakes at full speed on a public stage.

God gave us self-will, and I’ll always empower you to use yours. Just… stay curious. Stay open. Because nothing changes if nothing changes.

When I step onto the ledge of discomfort and keep the faith, miracles happen.

I am a miracle. And if you’ve escaped the hell of addiction, even for one day, you are a miracle too.

Final Word: Happy, Joyous, and Free

The chart isn’t just a side-by-side comparison—it’s proof that the wisdom of recovery, the law of God, and the words of Jesus harmonize in a way that can guide anyone seeking healing.

These aren’t dusty relics or religious checklists. They’re invitations. Invitations to surrender. To align. To serve. To live.

And when we say yes? That’s when the magic happens. That’s when we find ourselves—sometimes for the very first time—happy, joyous, and free.

If you made it this far in the post, you are a spiritual gangster! I’ll be keeping an eye out for you as we trudge the road to happy destiny.

-AB (*that’s me)

???? Reflection Questions for Your Journey

What does “happy, joyous, and free” mean to you today—and what step are you willing to take toward it?
Where do you see yourself in the chart right now—surrender, honesty, renewal, or service?
Which of the three roadmaps (12 Steps, 10 Commandments, Beatitudes) feels most natural to you? Which one feels like a stretch?
What’s one “idol” you’ve been putting above God (could be substances, success, relationships, control)?
How can you practice service this week—getting outside of yourself to help someone else?

SPIRITUAL GANGSTER: at The Sober Curator is a haven for those embracing sobriety with a healthy dose of spiritual sass. This space invites you to dive into meditation, astrology, intentional living, philosophy, and personal reflection—all while keeping your feet (and your sobriety) firmly on the ground. Whether you’re exploring new spiritual practices or deepening an existing one, Spiritual Gangster offers inspiration, insight, and a community that blends mindful living with alcohol-free fun.

All the cool kids go to rehab…

Resources Are Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.