Why Listen?
Welcome to the Confident Sober Women podcast, your go-to source for real-life talk on healing trauma, building confidence, and thriving beyond recovery. Hosted by a witty middle-aged woman balancing the chaos of parenting young adults, marriage, and business, each episode feels like a coffee chat with your best friend who’s also a therapist and coach. Since July 1, 2002, our host has been on a journey of sobriety, dedicating her life to helping other sober women.
Tune in for personal stories, teenage mishaps, and professional insights into natural wellness and clinical practices. Join us as we share practical tools for managing emotions and living a life you no longer want to escape from, inspired by the spirit of Stevie Nicks, Carrie Underwood, and Sheryl Crow. Let’s thrive in long-term recovery together!
Confident Sober Women
Join Shelby John, sober since July 1, 2002, for empowering conversations on the Confident Sober Women podcast with women who’ve found joy and confidence in their alcohol and drug-free lives.
This show is a rally cry for empathetic, resilient, and wisdom-seeking women dedicated to building a life you don’t want to escape from after that crucial first year of a sober lifestyle.
Discover how to:
· Build unshakable confidence in your sober life
· Break free from societal drinking norms
· Overcome the shame cycle and emotional numbing
· Resist the glamorized, over-hyped social influences around alcohol
· Create a pure and joyful life beyond recovery
Hear inspiring stories and practical advice on:
· Healing trauma
· Mindful parenting in recovery
· Optimizing physical and mental health
· Building a new, empowered identity
· Transforming your life beyond substance abuse recovery
We dive deep into questions like “Who am I now?” and “How do I pursue my heart’s desires?”, taking the intimidation out of sobriety and showcasing how to thrive in long-term recovery. This is truly a space for women supporting women in this modern recovery era.
New episodes every Tuesday. Subscribe now for weekly inspiration on your journey to becoming one of the happiest sober women, free from the cool crowd’s pressure to drink.
Please leave a review if you love the show, it helps us on the mission to make the Confident Sober Women community a household name.
Turning Trauma into Transformation: Renae Van Roekel’s Journey from Prison to Purpose
Today, I sit down with Renae Van Roekel, founder of Connecting to Cope, to explore the journey from childhood trauma and people-pleasing to accountability, healing, and helping others. If you’ve ever felt stuck under shame, guilt, or perfectionism, you’re not alone.
What You’ll Learn
- How early trauma and being told “you’re bad” became Renae’s internal narrative
- The cost of people-pleasing addiction, perfectionism, and hiding shame
- Her pivotal moment: why she chose to turn herself in rather than stay silent
- What happens when unhealed trauma collides with family, career, and relationship demands
- Tools she uses now to rewrite her brain: EMDR therapy, Rational Evaluations, journaling, self-care routines
- How negative thinking patterns show up & how to rewrite them with new core beliefs
- Rebuilding difficult family relationships, and how honesty, patience & courage can mend the past
Spotlight on Tools & Modalities
- EMDR therapy – how it helped Renae release trauma beyond talk therapy and regain mental focus
- Rational Evaluations (RSA) & cognitive-behavioral work she learned in prison’s RDAP program
- Daily practices: journaling, self-check-ins, inner dialogue shifts, patience with self
Visit her at www.connectingtocope.com
https://www.facebook.com/connectingtocope/
https://www.instagram.com/connectingtocope/
If you've struggled with addiction, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or inherited shame, Renae’s story shows you can transform your life by facing truth, doing the healing work, and choosing purpose. You can reclaim your identity, your integrity, and your power to choose.
Ready to do the next work on healing your past & reclaiming your voice? Learn more at www.wholisticlivingtherapy.com
Don’t forget to subscribe, rate & share this episode with a sober woman or someone suffering from anxiety, depression, ADHD, sleep problems and negative thought patterns who needs to hear she is not alone.
Oh, and by the way, if you didn’t know, my remote Neurofeedback Therapy program is up and running. Learn more here! Learn more about EMDR therapy, EMDR Intensives and Remote Neurofeedback.
If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, it's a great place to be. There are over a thousand other sober women there building lives they don't want to escape from. Come on over and join us.
And if you haven't read my memoir, grab a copy today and maybe a second one for a friend. There is so much hope in recovery, and I shared my story so raw and vulnerable so that others would know they aren't alone and that there is a way to live well, manage relationships, parent your kids, and have a healthy body, all while staying sober. Grab a copy of Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety wherever books are sold.
September 4, 2025
August 6, 2025
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Meet Your Host - Shelby John
Shelby is a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice where she specializes in trauma, addiction, and anxiety. With years of experience in the field, she founded Shelby John Coaching and is the happy host of the Confident Sober Women podcast. After getting sober she became a fresh, authentic voice in the sobriety space, showing women how to build confidence and love their lives beyond recovery. Shelby is the mother to three, the wife to one loving man, and has been sober since July 1, 2002.
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