Most people (nearly 80%) quit their New Year’s resolutions by February. Just one month to abandon the goal they laid out for themselves to improve their lives positively. More interestingly, one in seven people never thought they would see it through. Some quit because of societal pressure (40%), and the average American would spend $15,748.19 to have someone keep them accountable (Gervis 2020). Therefore, people are setting goals they never expect to achieve, cave into peer pressure, and would pay someone to make them accountable for keeping their goals instead of finding accountability inside themselves. It is sad when you think about the fact that a person is self-identifying a way in which they need to improve in life and then quit it within a month.
Epictetus was one of the Ancient Roman Stoic philosophers who brought an interesting perspective to the philosophy. He was born into slavery in Greece before his owner brought him to Rome before he was eventually freed. He suffered from a lame leg that is commonly thought to be due to a punishment that he received during his enslavement. His actual name is unknown, as Epictetus is derived from the Greek word epiktētos, which means to be acquired.
Being a slave, Epictetus understood that some rules and laws were given to him that he could not break because to do so would lead to physical punishment. It did not matter if he agreed with them or not. They were given for him to follow, and he must do so.
In this quote, Epictetus suggests that when we tell ourselves about specific goals we may have in life or principles by which we say we will live, we need to think of them as if they were law. He even raises it to a higher level and thinks we should act like it is a sacrilegious act against God.
Whether or not you believe in God, the point should be obvious. We know that there are laws we need to follow, and we do our best to obey them. I know that sometimes, in our addiction, we may not care to follow them (I know I am guilty of this), but in our recovery, we should live a life in which we respect and try not to break them. And if you are religious, there are certain things that your faith may tell you that you should not be doing, and you respect them and try to obey them. Most of us feel a sense of guilt when we break the laws of our government or that of our religion. For some reason, when we are given these laws of society and faith, we internalize them to the point where they emotionally affect us if we do not follow them.
If laws and faith can shape how we act and behave, why should we treat the goals we have for ourselves and the principles we choose to live by differently? If we know it is to better ourselves, then why should we think of them differently than any law that exists for society’s betterment? They are basically the same thing; it is just that, in this case, we get to choose the goals and principles that we feel are right for us to live by. For once, we are not told what to do; we can say to ourselves what we will do.
One of the core aspects of Stoicism is understanding what we have control over and what we do not. We must use this understanding to guide us towards living a better life. We do not have control over other people and the opinions they might make of us. But we have control over how we will respond to what they say and how we will internalize it. I may not be able to control your opinions of me at the moment, but I have the choice of whether or not I will allow them to shape my emotions and behavior.
Epictetus discusses with this understanding that we follow these laws that we have given ourselves and that we need to do this no matter what anyone else says. The fact that around 40% of people quit their resolutions due to pressure from others shows why he discusses this. Sadly, we live in a world where someone can choose something to better themselves and where others destroy their ability to achieve it. Therefore, we need to build our strength, not care what others think, and only focus on what we feel about ourselves.
It is in your power to choose the goals you have and the principles you live by. And unless you are lying to yourself, you know it is something you need. As you make your New Year’s Resolutions for how you will improve in 2024, do not give up on them so quickly. Instead, treat them as laws that have consequences for breaking. And do not let anyone pressure you into breaking your own laws.
Gervis, Zoya. “The average American abandons their New Year’s resolution by this date.”New York Post. January 28, 2020.
THE SOBER STOIC: Sober Curator Derek Castleman is a writer, educator, scientist, data analyst, and philosopher. Struggling with drug addiction and alcoholism for over fifteen years while at the same time suffering from being bipolar, he was finally able to achieve recovery in 2018. From mental hospitals to rehab, county jail to sober living, 12 Step Programs would be his foundation, but he would eventually discover the path of Stoicism to be the key to his sobriety and sanity. Follow along with @thesoberstoic on Instagram and learn more about Derek HERE.
MOVIE NIGHT WITH THE SOBER CURATOR: 41 of the Best Documentaries and Docuseries featuring Addiction, Recovery, and Mental Health.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
Resources Are Available
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties surrounding alcoholism, addiction, or mental illness, please reach out and ask for help. People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look. And continue to look until you find what works for you. Click here for a list of regional and national resources.
