“Goonies never say die” isn’t just a movie quote. It’s a lifestyle. A mindset. A rallying cry for anyone who’s ever felt like the underdog climbing the rickety stairs of life with nothing but grit, heart, and maybe a questionable map.
So when the iconic Goonies House went up for sale, Behman Zakeri didn’t see a real estate listing — he saw a calling. His phone lit up with people telling him exactly what he already knew: This is your moment. Goonie destiny awaits.
And here’s the wild part: When he actually stepped through that front door as the new owner, it wasn’t a chest-puffing, look-what-I-bought moment. It was reverence. Stewardship. He describes it as “surreal, larger than life,” like every childhood underdog version of himself walked in with him. Suddenly, he wasn’t just Behman. He was the caretaker of millions of beating hearts tied to one weather-worn house on a hill.
Restoration as Love Language
Restoring the Goonies House wasn’t about slapping on a coat of paint and calling it nostalgia. No, no. This was sacred work.
The distressed fence? Rebuilt.
The original red trim? Returned.
The front-yard fever dream? Fully operational.
Yes — the legendary Rube Goldberg contraption from the movie actually works now. For real. Start to finish. Bowling ball to football kick, with a robot chicken stepping in for the original gag. It’s whimsical. It’s ridiculous. It’s perfect.
As someone who recently retraced my own Goonies pilgrimage through Astoria — climbing hills with Tamar, eating Baby Ruths, and insisting on stopping at every filming location — let me tell you: seeing that contraption run in person is like an instant serotonin injection.
Hospitality With Boundaries (A Goonie AND Adulting Win)
Now, for anyone who’s ever been an enthusiastic fan (or hosted one), you know magic can turn to mayhem real quick without boundaries. The Goonies House sits in a real neighborhood, with real families, doing real Tuesday-morning-in-the-rain things. Behman gets that.
His approach? Open-hearted but respectful. Visitors can take photos, geek out, recreate scenes, and if he’s home, he’ll often step onto the porch to reenact moments with them. Meanwhile, the local community gently plays lookout, reminding folks to be kind, be tidy, and maybe don’t sprint downhill like you’re outrunning the Fratellis.
It’s fandom, but with manners.
It’s community, but with joy.
Money Isn’t the Story — People Are
A humble little donation box sits out front, helping cover utilities and maintenance so the experience stays open to everyone. It’s not ticketing. It’s gratitude. If you’ve ever tossed in a dollar because your heart felt full — you know the vibe.
And here’s my favorite part: The previous owner chose Behman not because he had the biggest offer, but because he had the biggest heart. The town feared a developer might step in, Troy-dad the whole thing, and turn childhood memories into a luxury remodel. Instead, she trusted a superfan who promised restoration and community.
She chose right.
He continues to prove it.
A Living Room, Not a Museum
The house isn’t frozen in time — it’s alive. On Halloween, it becomes a Goonies cosplay runway. Behman’s gone as Sloth, Chunk, and Mouth — a respectable trifecta. Some days, he blends into the crowd just to watch adults transform back into kids the moment that porch angle hits them just right.
And honestly? That awe is medicine. A playful reset. A reminder that joy is still allowed — even in adulthood, even in recovery, even on days when your inner underdog feels a little tired.
The Sober Thread Woven Through It All
There’s something undeniably recovery-coded about the Goonies ethos:
One booby trap at a time.
One impossible tunnel at a time.
One day at a time.
“Goonies never say die” becomes “Just don’t give up today.”
If you’ve ever needed that mantra — whispered, shouted, or scribbled on a fence — you know how powerful it is to see it embodied in a house that refuses to quit.
The True Treasure: Community
In a world that loves to commodify nostalgia, the Goonies House does the opposite:
It gives.
It shares.
It invites.
It reminds us that fandom can be connection, not consumption. That magic grows when it’s passed around. That the map — the real one — always points back to the places that make us feel alive, included, and seen.
Listen to our episode with Behman Zakeri — the superfan turned steward — as he shares what it means to restore a house, open his heart, and live like an underdog who never quits.
And if you haven’t seen it yet, check out my own sober Goonies adventure in Astoria with Tamar — proof that you’re never too old, too tired, or too sober to chase a little movie-magic joy.

Getting sober matters. Staying sober matters more. That’s the whole premise.
The Sober Curator Podcast brings sober lifestyle, pop culture and recovery to the mic with personality, perspective and a glitter bomb of honesty. Founder and host Alysse Bryson (sober since May 1, 2006, and self-described Kevin Bacon of Recovery) is joined by co-host and show producer Tamar Routly of Podcast Impact Studio, plus a rotating bench of global Sober Curator contributors who pull up a chair as co-hosts.
What we cover, episode to episode:
Happy Every Hour: zero-proof drinks, NA beer, spirits and cocktails, reviewed by people who actually drink them.
Health and Wellness: mental health, physical health and what recovery looks like on a Tuesday.
Lifestyle: dating, parenting, shopping, style and the everyday logistics of alcohol-free living.
Entertainment: quit lit, movies, TV, music, sports and celebrity sobriety, rated with our proprietary Sobees.
Spiritual Gangster: Jesus to astrology, stoicism to the Celtic calendar.
Travel: sober events, sober retreats, Sobriety in the City and global travel without a drink in hand.
We also review other sober podcasts on Recovery Podcastland, dig into sponsored product spotlights, and go deep with contributors on how they got sober and what keeps them there. New episodes drop as video on YouTube and audio everywhere you listen.
Want more? BACKSTAGE with The Sober Curator is our membership community with Media Nights, Studio Nights, Edutainment Nights and The Sober Curator Mixtape, a monthly mini-zine delivered in a cassette case. Details at https://thesobercurator.com/backstage-with-the-sober-curator/
Whether you’re sober curious or decades in, we’ve got you. We’re not here to help you get sober. We’re here to help you live sober and love it.
Rate, review and subscribe. It takes 60 seconds and we will love you forever.
Contact: thesobercurator@gmail.com
Every October, half the internet finds out what it’s like to be the one holding a club soda at a party. Some of us have been doing Sober October for years, and the drinks have gotten a lot better since the O’Doul’s days.
This week, Alysse and Tamar sit down with the two people who know exactly what to pour: Kim Parsley and Justin Lamb, who hold down The Sober Curator’s Happy Every Hour section. Kim covers NA spirits and cocktails. Justin is roughly 150 NA beer reviews in and still can’t find a non-alcoholic single malt scotch.
In this episode:
– Sober October, Dry January, and “the always forgotten Dry July”: eye roll, gateway drug, or marketing?
– Justin’s fall NA beer list from 2024 still pops off, and some of the breweries on it are gone
– Why celebrity NA beer brands might not want sober customers (and why there should be room at the table)
– The “drink as prescribed” rule for trying NA spirits for the first time
– Kim builds Justin an NA Negroni and Alysse a pink Barbie Cosmo on the spot
– The one drink each of us is pouring for the rest of fall, plus what we’re eating with it
CHAPTERS
00:00 Club soda at the party
02:01 The Sober Curator Mixtape
04:16 Sober October: eye roll or gateway drug?
09:44 From craft beer to NA beer
13:36 Kim’s piano bar and Tanqueray 0.0
17:55 The 2024 fall beer list, two years later
20:22 “The War on Alcohol” and the SNL sketch
23:37 “They don’t want recovered addicts”
25:23 TOMONOTOMO: drink as prescribed
29:30 What drink are you?
30:57 Which NA spirits can you sip neat?
33:41 “I drink Diet Coke”
37:48 One drink for the rest of fall
TSC Articles mentioned in this episode:
– Justin’s Top 10 Non-Alcoholic Beers for Fall
– Kim’s TOMONOTOMO Tobalá review
– SNL’s “Non-Non Alcoholic Beer” sketch, pro or con
– “It’s Always Sunny,” NA Beer and the Joke That Didn’t Land for Me
– The Sober Curator Mixtape (Sober Snail Mail)
– Backstage with The Sober Curator
Getting sober matters. Staying sober matters more.
SEASON 2 MERCH: https://shopthesobercurator.com/
SC RESOURCES:
– Alcohol + Substance Use Disorder Guide
– Recovery Nonprofit Resource Guide
– LGBTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide
CONNECT: www.thesobercurator.com | The Sober Sip newsletter: https://www.thesobercuratornewsletter.com/ | @thesobercurator on Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube + Pinterest
Love the show? Rate, review + follow. It takes 60 seconds and helps more people find us. Feedback + guest ideas: thesobercurator@gmail.com
Hosted by Alysse Bryson with co-host + producer Tamar Routly. For informational and entertainment purposes only; not a substitute for professional advice.
Music: TSC S2 theme “Sober Shots” created by Alysse Bryson using Suno AI, under Suno’s commercial license.


WHAT A TRIP! Our Goonies-Inspired Adventure in Astoria, Oregon

SOBER POP CULTURE at The Sober Curator is where mainstream trends meet the vibrant world of sobriety. We serve up a mix of movie, podcast, fashion, and book recommendations alongside alcohol-free cocktails, celebrity features, and pop culture buzz—all with a sober twist.
We’re here to shatter the “sobriety is boring” myth with a mash-up of 80s neon, 90s hip-hop edge, early 2000s bling, and today’s hottest trends. From celebrity shoutouts to red-carpet style inspo, this is where sober is as chic as it is fun. To the celebs using their platform for good—our Sober Pop Trucker hats are off to you!
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