“Goonies never say die” isn’t just a movie quote. It’s a lifestyle. A mindset. A rallying cry for anyone who’s ever felt like the underdog climbing the rickety stairs of life with nothing but grit, heart, and maybe a questionable map.
So when the iconic Goonies House went up for sale, Behman Zakeri didn’t see a real estate listing — he saw a calling. His phone lit up with people telling him exactly what he already knew: This is your moment. Goonie destiny awaits.
And here’s the wild part: When he actually stepped through that front door as the new owner, it wasn’t a chest-puffing, look-what-I-bought moment. It was reverence. Stewardship. He describes it as “surreal, larger than life,” like every childhood underdog version of himself walked in with him. Suddenly, he wasn’t just Behman. He was the caretaker of millions of beating hearts tied to one weather-worn house on a hill.
Restoration as Love Language
Restoring the Goonies House wasn’t about slapping on a coat of paint and calling it nostalgia. No, no. This was sacred work.
The distressed fence? Rebuilt.
The original red trim? Returned.
The front-yard fever dream? Fully operational.
Yes — the legendary Rube Goldberg contraption from the movie actually works now. For real. Start to finish. Bowling ball to football kick, with a robot chicken stepping in for the original gag. It’s whimsical. It’s ridiculous. It’s perfect.
As someone who recently retraced my own Goonies pilgrimage through Astoria — climbing hills with Tamar, eating Baby Ruths, and insisting on stopping at every filming location — let me tell you: seeing that contraption run in person is like an instant serotonin injection.
Hospitality With Boundaries (A Goonie AND Adulting Win)
Now, for anyone who’s ever been an enthusiastic fan (or hosted one), you know magic can turn to mayhem real quick without boundaries. The Goonies House sits in a real neighborhood, with real families, doing real Tuesday-morning-in-the-rain things. Behman gets that.
His approach? Open-hearted but respectful. Visitors can take photos, geek out, recreate scenes, and if he’s home, he’ll often step onto the porch to reenact moments with them. Meanwhile, the local community gently plays lookout, reminding folks to be kind, be tidy, and maybe don’t sprint downhill like you’re outrunning the Fratellis.
It’s fandom, but with manners.
It’s community, but with joy.
Money Isn’t the Story — People Are
A humble little donation box sits out front, helping cover utilities and maintenance so the experience stays open to everyone. It’s not ticketing. It’s gratitude. If you’ve ever tossed in a dollar because your heart felt full — you know the vibe.
And here’s my favorite part: The previous owner chose Behman not because he had the biggest offer, but because he had the biggest heart. The town feared a developer might step in, Troy-dad the whole thing, and turn childhood memories into a luxury remodel. Instead, she trusted a superfan who promised restoration and community.
She chose right.
He continues to prove it.
A Living Room, Not a Museum
The house isn’t frozen in time — it’s alive. On Halloween, it becomes a Goonies cosplay runway. Behman’s gone as Sloth, Chunk, and Mouth — a respectable trifecta. Some days, he blends into the crowd just to watch adults transform back into kids the moment that porch angle hits them just right.
And honestly? That awe is medicine. A playful reset. A reminder that joy is still allowed — even in adulthood, even in recovery, even on days when your inner underdog feels a little tired.
The Sober Thread Woven Through It All
There’s something undeniably recovery-coded about the Goonies ethos:
One booby trap at a time.
One impossible tunnel at a time.
One day at a time.
“Goonies never say die” becomes “Just don’t give up today.”
If you’ve ever needed that mantra — whispered, shouted, or scribbled on a fence — you know how powerful it is to see it embodied in a house that refuses to quit.
The True Treasure: Community
In a world that loves to commodify nostalgia, the Goonies House does the opposite:
It gives.
It shares.
It invites.
It reminds us that fandom can be connection, not consumption. That magic grows when it’s passed around. That the map — the real one — always points back to the places that make us feel alive, included, and seen.
Listen to our episode with Behman Zakeri — the superfan turned steward — as he shares what it means to restore a house, open his heart, and live like an underdog who never quits.
And if you haven’t seen it yet, check out my own sober Goonies adventure in Astoria with Tamar — proof that you’re never too old, too tired, or too sober to chase a little movie-magic joy.
Getting sober is one thing—but staying sober? That’s where the real adventure begins.
Hosted by Alysse Bryson and Tamar Routly, The Sober Curator Podcast is where the AF lifestyle meets pop culture, sass, and storytelling. Celebrity interviews, zero-proof finds, and bold convos with the coolest creatives in the sober community—delivered with irreverent charm and a glitter bomb of honesty.
Sober, sober-curious, or just here for good vibes without the hangover—we’ve got you.
We’re not here to help you get sober.
We’re here to help you live sober—and love it.
That’s a Wrap: The Season One Finale
It started because people kept pitching to be on a podcast that didn’t exist — so Alysse and Tamar built one. Now, 50+ episodes later, they’re closing out Season One with a look back at the wildest moments, the biggest lessons, and a tease of what’s coming in Season Two that’s going to change the game.
Alysse Bryson and Tamar Routly (aka T Booj) celebrate turning 50, recap their favorite Season One moments — from the Tchotchke Showdown to dressing up as aliens — and get real about the behind-the-scenes hustle of running a podcast with a global team of 38 contributors. Plus: the Sober Curator Rolodex, the Amplify Sober Voices event, a secret Spring launch, and why sobriety means you actually DO the things you dream about.
Episode Highlights
Alysse and Tamar both hit 50 and have officially run out of shits to give
The origin story: launching a podcast because people kept pitching to one that didn’t exist
Favorite Season One moments: Tchotchke Showdown, alien costumes, Adam Nemoy interview
The Sober Curator Rolodex — a free directory for sober business owners
Amplify Sober Voices recap and collaborating with sober content creators
Season Two teasers: YouTube Lives, listener participation, and a mystery Spring launch
Sober Shot
“That’s what happens when you live a sober lifestyle. You don’t just talk about doing shit. You actually end up going and doing the things you’ve dreamed about.” — Alysse Bryson
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About:
Sobriety isn’t the end of the party—it’s just the start of a better one. Hosted by Alysse Bryson, media powerhouse and sobriety’s ultimate hype woman, and joined by Sober Curator contributors, The Sober Curator Podcast* delivers bold convos, pop culture deep dives, and zero-proof living that doesn’t suck. Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or just looking for good vibes without the hangover, we’ve got you covered. Subscribe now—because getting sober matters, staying sober matters more.
*The Sober Curator Podcast is a space for open and honest conversations about sobriety, recovery, and alcohol-free living. While we celebrate all paths to a sober lifestyle, some topics discussed may be sensitive or triggering for certain listeners. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you’re in recovery or exploring sobriety, please take care while listening and seek support from trusted professionals as needed.
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WHAT A TRIP! Our Goonies-Inspired Adventure in Astoria, Oregon
SOBER POP CULTURE at The Sober Curator is where mainstream trends meet the vibrant world of sobriety. We serve up a mix of movie, podcast, fashion, and book recommendations alongside alcohol-free cocktails, celebrity features, and pop culture buzz—all with a sober twist.
We’re here to shatter the “sobriety is boring” myth with a mash-up of 80s neon, 90s hip-hop edge, early 2000s bling, and today’s hottest trends. From celebrity shoutouts to red-carpet style inspo, this is where sober is as chic as it is fun. To the celebs using their platform for good—our Sober Pop Trucker hats are off to you!
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