“I wasn’t addicted to drugs. I was addicted to acceptance.”
Jonathan Gildart
That sentence lands like truth usually does — quietly, then all at once.
In Episode 48 of The Sober Curator Podcast, Jonathan Gildart doesn’t tell a redemption story wrapped in shiny sobriety clichés. He tells a human one. A story about identity, incarceration, and what happens when recovery finally becomes more than just abstinence.
For Jonathan, addiction wasn’t born from rebellion or recklessness — it was born from longing. The longing to belong. To not be the awkward kid. To be accepted without explanation. Substances didn’t just numb pain; they created instant connection.
Until they didn’t.
After relapse, federal prison, and facing the real possibility of losing everything — including time with his parents — something shifted. Not overnight. Not magically. But decisively.
Sobriety became non-negotiable.
Yet staying sober wasn’t the hardest part.
Finding where he fit was.
That’s where LGBTQ+ recovery spaces changed everything. In queer recovery rooms, Jonathan didn’t have to explain himself before he could heal. His identity wasn’t something to work around — it was something honored.
That sense of safety became the foundation for responsibility. Through recovery housing, Jonathan learned how to show up — paying rent, sharing space, being accountable not to authority, but to peers.
And then came service.
Not as a résumé builder. Not as redemption theater. But as a lifeline. Service gave Jonathan something addiction never could: meaning that didn’t evaporate the next morning.
Today, with over 11 years of continuous sobriety, Jonathan’s life looks nothing like the one he once accepted as his fate. He works in recovery housing, supports others reentering society, and helps lead spaces where queer people in recovery can finally exhale.
This episode reminds us of something vital:
Sobriety isn’t just about stopping something.
It’s about starting something better.
And no one should have to do that alone.
🎧 Listen to the full episode on The Sober Curator Podcast.
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Getting sober is one thing—but staying sober? That’s where the real adventure begins.
This show is for you if you’ve ever wondered:
– Where can I find inspiring sober podcasts, apps, and creators?
– How do I give back or stay plugged into the sober community
– What are the best sober-friendly drinks and travel tips?
– Where do I find the good NA drinks that don’t taste like regret?
The Sober Curator is your go-to for sober pop culture, booze-free travel, apps, creators, and community.
We’re not here to help you get sober.
We’re here to help you live sober—and love it.
Ready to hear this one again?
In this lively roundtable, The Sober Curator crew dives deep into Mel Robbins’ viral book ”The Let Them Theory ” — and the controversy swirling around it. Hosts Alysse Bryson and Tamar Routly welcome guests Dr. Sarah Michaud, Megan Swan, Tony Harte, Carolyn Bunn and Amy Liz Harrison for a spirited discussion on whether ”Let Them” is really a theory, how it fits into codependency work, and what it misses for people in recovery. Expect strong opinions, a healthy dose of sass and more than a few laughs as the group rates the book and explores what boundary-setting means in sober life.
Timestamps:
[00:00] – Dr. Sarah Michaud opens with a critical question: Can people actually ”let them”?
[01:13] – Show intros: Meet The Sober Curator Podcast hosts and this week's panel of sober experts.
[02:56] – What is Mel Robbins' ”The Let Them Theory” all about? Pop culture, controversy and viral moments.
[05:06] – Meet the guests! Panelists weigh in on their first impressions.
[08:56] – Dr. Sarah and Tony Harte debate: is this really a theory, or just marketing?
[11:05] – Copyright, tattoos and the story behind ”Let Them”: Is it original?
[15:17] – Can everyday people really apply ”The Let Them Theory” in real life — or in recovery?
[18:37] – Amy Liz Harrison shares a personal story about friendships, boundaries and people-pleasing.
[20:19] – Apologize, back off, celebrate progress? The panel critiques Mel's proposed solution.
[24:00] – Megan Swan: ”This book isn't for people with deep trauma” — who is the real audience?
[33:24] – Alysse Bryson on how sober circles are NOT the norm for most people.
[34:53] – Indie publishing, bestsellers and grandiosity: Should we trademark ”Let Me”?
[44:12] – Put a Sobee on it! The panel gives their Sobee Scores for Mel Robbins' ”The Let Them Theory”
Resources & Links:
–The Sober Curator: Rethinking Codependency and “The Let Them Theory” | Leaving CrazyTown
–Book: ”The Let Them Theory”
–Alcohol + Substance Use Disorder Guide
–Recovery Nonprofit Resource Guide
–LBGTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide
Connect with Us:
-Website: www.thesobercurator.com
-Facebook: @The Sober Curator
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About:
Sobriety isn’t the end of the party—it’s just the start of a better one. Hosted by Alysse Bryson, media powerhouse and sobriety’s ultimate hype woman, and joined by Sober Curator contributors, The Sober Curator Podcast* delivers bold convos, pop culture deep dives, and zero-proof living that doesn’t suck. Whether you're sober, sober-curious, or just looking for good vibes without the hangover, we’ve got you covered. Subscribe now—because getting sober matters, staying sober matters more.
The intro and outro music for this episode is proudly featured with permission from Avatari. All rights reserved to the original creators. For more of their work, check out his website: https://www.avatariworld.com/music.
*The Sober Curator Podcast is a space for open and honest conversations about sobriety, recovery, and alcohol-free living. While we celebrate all paths to a sober lifestyle, some topics discussed may be sensitive or triggering for certain listeners. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you’re in recovery or exploring sobriety, please take care while listening and seek support from trusted professionals as needed.
COMING OUT SOBER: Sober Pride: How a Group of Friends Is Redefining “Partying” Without Alcohol
#ADDTOCART: Sober Pride Gift Guide
COMING OUT SOBER: shares’ personal stories from our Sober Curator contributors in the LGBTQ+ community about living sober, proud, and out loud. From hilarious mishaps to heartbreaking truths—and everything in between—these narratives explore what it means to break free from both booze and societal norms. This space celebrates authenticity, resilience, and the power of living your truth without alcohol.
Don’t miss our LGBTQ+ Recovery Resource Guide for supportive tools, connections, and inspiration.
Help is Available
Addressing the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use requires a multifaceted approach that acknowledges the unique challenges faced by this community. By advocating for inclusivity and expanding resources, we can create recovery environments where all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, can find support and healing. Click Here for a list of LGBTQ+ Recovery Resources.
