Breaking news! Dax Shepard is seven days sober. This was the main headline on social media on September 25th, 2020. When I heard this news, it broke my heart a little. I hurt for him and his family. I fear it could easily happen to me, too.
A Shocking Revelation
Friday afternoon, I was enjoying my weekly Zoom “happy hour” with what I refer to as my OGs. This wildly creative group holds a special spot in my heart. We all worked together back in my magazine days. The group is made up of people who worked at the magazine, people who represented our clients, or people who we partnered with to help us with our many magazine parties. Running a magazine may sound glamorous. While it did have its moments, it was really just long hours and a lot of hard work behind the scenes. It was fitting that this breaking news about Dax Shepard happened when I was surrounded by people who love me and accept me for all my faults. Although I am the only sober one in the group (and, to be clear, the only one who needs to be sober), this group fiercely protects me and my sobriety.
We were about 20 minutes into the weekly Zoom call when a friend in the group brought it up. “Alysse, what do you think about Dax Shepard’s relapse?” Wait. WHAT?
The Reality of Relapse
Somehow, I had not seen the news online yet. This is a little crazy because I work in media and consume media all day, every day. The group knew they had lost me from the Zoom conversation as I was deep into my iPhone, scrolling to find answers. What happened? Is he okay? He had 16 years. (I have 14.) Inside, I was secretly wondering, will I never be safe from the grips of addiction?
I have been a Dax Shepard fan since his days on Parenthood. I loved him before I even knew he also struggles with the same demons I do. Plus, he’s married to Veronica Mars (also known as Kristen Bell). This guy can do no wrong in my eyes. I included his podcast, Armchair Expert, in a blog post I wrote this past summer on 11 binge-worthy podcasts produced by people in recovery.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard: Day 7
Unveiling the Struggle
Friday night, as I curled up into bed in my favorite jammies with my two furry friends, I turned on his podcast episode “Day 7,” which was getting so much buzz online. Dax openly shared for 47 minutes what happened and what he is doing about it now. Just weeks ago, his wife and children were publicly celebrating his 16th sobriety birthday. A celebration he was not sober for. Dax bared his soul in this podcast. He talked about resetting his sobriety clock.
The Sobriety Clock
This is something I find myself thinking about often. Does resetting the clock mean you lose all the time you had? I don’t think it does. You don’t lose it. But if you are trying to live an honest life, you reset your counter when tracking consistent sobriety. Anyone who argues differently should probably do an ego check on their motives. What’s the point in tracking time if you aren’t going to track it honestly? Resetting requires being brutally honest about secrets you’ve been hiding, owning your part, and doing things differently. Resetting is simply admitting you aren’t perfect, which is more than okay. Relapse is part of recovery for many.
The Burden of Management
In this episode of Armchair Expert, Dax talked about how his wife Kristen would have to manage his pills from a variety of accidents he’s had over the years. My son Jakob has had to manage my pills over the years, too. My best friend Erin has to call and check on me randomly to make sure I’m taking the pills I’m supposed to be taking. I am fourteen years sober, and I still have pill issues. Some pills I want to take more than prescribed (I don’t, but let’s not confuse that with I could), and other pills I don’t want to take at all, even though they are prescribed for good reasons.
Relating to the Struggle
I found myself relating to everything Dax discussed in episode “Day 7”. The secrets, the head games, the lies, the pain, the gaslighting. Celebrities are just like us! Here is a man who seemingly has everything: a thriving career, a beautiful and talented wife, and exceptional children. But guess what? Addiction doesn’t care, and it sure as hell doesn’t discriminate. No money or social status can keep you safe from it.
The Fragility of Sobriety
Sobriety is contingent on daily reprieve. It doesn’t matter how much time anyone has; we only have today. Dax’s story reminds me that this really and truly is a one-day-at-a-time design for living. Thank you, Dax, for your honesty, courage, bravery, and willingness to publicly bare your soul. Your life is worth fighting for. My life is worth fighting for. All lives are worth fighting for. Relapse isn’t the end. It’s a very uncomfortable growing pain and the start of something new and improved—the beginning of new lessons to be learned.
A Community of Support
Welcome back, Dax! The recovery community believes in you and is here cheering you on. Thank you for sharing your truth and your soul with us. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to live a life of sobriety in the public eye. You have helped me. I can only imagine how many others you have helped and will continue to help. We recover better together.
Conclusion
Dax Shepard’s relapse and subsequent honesty serve as a potent reminder that addiction is a lifelong battle. No matter how much time has passed, the threat of relapse looms. However, the recovery community is a powerful force, offering support and understanding to those who face these challenges. Dax’s story is not just about relapse; it’s about resilience, honesty, and the continuous fight for sobriety. For anyone struggling with addiction, remember that you are not alone, and every day is a new opportunity to start fresh.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, don’t hesitate to seek help. The recovery community is here to support you, one day at a time.
The Sobees Recovery Podcastland Score: 4 out of 5
A Curated List of Sober Guests on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
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