There’s something profoundly refreshing about a love story that doesn’t rely on alcohol to fuel its passion or create its most intimate moments. In a cinematic landscape where romantic connections often seem to require a glass of wine or a cocktail to get started, “The Idea of You” stands apart as a tender, authentic exploration of two people discovering each other through pure, unfiltered connection.
Anne Hathaway’s Solène and Nicholas Galitzine’s Hayes find each other not in a dimly lit bar or over champagne flutes, but in the most unexpected of places — a mistaken encounter at Coachella that blossoms into something beautiful and real. What struck me most about their relationship wasn’t the age gap that had everyone talking, but the remarkable sobriety of their emotional intimacy.
Romance Without the Crutch
Yes, there are moments where alcohol appears—a bottle of wine shared in Paris (though they barely seem to touch it), some highballs on the boy band’s private jet while the twenty-somethings indulge. But these scenes feel incidental rather than central to their story. The Paris scene is about the kiss and not caring about what anyone thinks. The real magic happens in the spaces between — in art galleries, while dancing in their underwear, over carefully prepared meals — cue tomato sandwiches, during spontaneous adventures, and side smiles while he performs.
This approach to romance feels revolutionary in its simplicity. Solène and Hayes don’t need alcohol to lower their inhibitions or create chemistry. Their connection is built on genuine curiosity about each other, shared interests, and an emotional vulnerability that requires no liquid courage to express. When they make love, it’s preceded by conversations about art and music, moments of playful dancing, or quiet discoveries about each other’s worlds. They’re obsessed with each other physically and want to be present for the whole thing.
The Art of Sober Intimacy
What makes “The Idea of You” so compelling is how it portrays the development of intimacy through completely sober experiences. Their romance unfolds through:
Art and Culture: Solène’s gallery becomes a sacred space where Hayes truly sees her expertise and passion. He’s drawn not just to her beauty but also to her knowledge, perspective, and world.
Food and Sharing: Their meals aren’t about wine pairings but simple comfort foods like chicken fingers, fries, and BLTs. There’s something deeply intimate about preparing food for someone at home or sharing a meal without needing alcohol to smooth the conversation.
Travel and Adventure: From Coachella to Rome and Paris, their adventures together are about experiencing the world through each other’s eyes, creating memories that are crystal clear and unfogged by alcohol.
Pure Conversation: Perhaps most importantly, they talk. Really talk. About dreams, fears, art, music, life. These conversations happen over coffee, during walks, in quiet moments — never requiring the social lubricant that so many movie couples seem to need. I’m so curious to know if it was intentional!
The Idea of You offers something different…
In a culture that often equates romance with wine dinners and cocktail dates, The Idea of You offers something different: the radical idea that two people can fall deeply, passionately in love while remaining completely present with each other. There’s no haze of alcohol, no morning-after regrets about what was said or done. Every moment between Solène and Hayes is chosen consciously, felt fully, and remembered clearly.
This sober approach to romance doesn’t make their relationship less passionate — if anything, it makes it more intense. When Hayes looks at Solène, when they dance together, when they are silly together, there’s an immediacy and authenticity that alcohol often masks rather than enhances.
Michael Showalter’s direction and the script by Showalter and Jennifer Westfeldt create space for this kind of clear-eyed romance to flourish. They understand that true intimacy comes from being fully present with another person, not from shared substances or altered states. The film trusts its audience to be invested in a love story built on an emotional rather than a chemical connection.
For me, this is what elevates The Idea of You from a simple May-December romance to something more meaningful. It’s a reminder that the most profound connections happen when we’re most ourselves — unfiltered, unaltered, courageously vulnerable in our complete sobriety. And that we always have time.
The Idea of You is so relatable.
In a world where so many of us have complicated relationships with alcohol, seeing a romance that doesn’t depend on it feels not just refreshing but necessary. Solène and Hayes show us that love doesn’t need liquid courage—sometimes, it just needs two people brave enough to be completely present with each other.
That’s why, despite all the discourse about age gaps and celebrity culture, The Idea of You feels so relatable to me. It’s a love story that trusts in the power of sober connection, and simple innocence, and in doing so, it offers something increasingly rare: a romance that’s as clear and honest as the people living it.
Sober Curator Fun Fact: It is also worth noting that Anne Hathaway is sober IRL.
Movie Night with The Sober Curator Sobees Score: 3.5 out of 5
The Idea of You Trailer (2024)
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